


Back to the Drawing Board

by TipsyEpsy



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Android Pets - Freeform, Animal AU, Asshole rescues a bunch of cats more at 5, Attempted Sexual Assault, Baby makes 5, Basic Rights acquisition, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Church AU, Connor being a gross boy, Demon Summoning AU with a Twist, Depression, Dinosaurs, Disney World & Disneyland, Evil CyberLife (Detroit: Become Human), Forced Reprogramming, Future Child, G/T, Gavin Reed is a Father, Giant AU, Giant/Tiny, Giraffes, Human AU, Improper use of medical samples, Literal Dehumanization, Markus is Dummy Thicc, Memes, Millennial Hank Anderson, Multi, Murderous Android, No seriously heck Cyberlife, Past-trauma, Perkins is a fucking asshole, Poisoning, Polyamory, RK900 is still learning how to people, Redeemed Leo Manfred is a good older brother, Reformed RK800-60 AU, Sick Character, Sickfic, Slow recovery, Sole Survivor Simon AU, Species Swap, Vampire AU, Werewolf AU, anger issues, doppelgangers, internet culture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2020-07-28 20:16:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 48,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20069953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TipsyEpsy/pseuds/TipsyEpsy
Summary: A series of drabbles and prompt requests I received on Tumblr ages ago, and that I forgot to cross post to AO3 for the sake of organization.A lot of these are either canon compliant, or AUs of various lengths.Feel free to submit prompts. I'm always willing to have a gander at any new ideas, no matter how outlandish they may seem!





	1. The Giraffe Conundrum (Giraffe Markus AU)

As it turns out, pushing a full sized giraffe out of a window is a deed easier said than done. It’s not a lack of effort that messes things up, rather the opposite, but it still goes south and now Carl and Josh are left to watch the rear end of a massive android animal while Leo, Simon and North are outside in the back trying to help Markus unwedge himself.  
It’d be funny if there weren’t a risk of injury.  
“A broken leg on a giraffe isn’t a good thing.” Josh noted as he put some more distance away from Markus, as he seemed to think kicking about wildly would somehow get him out faster. “It’s kind of the same as a horse breaking a leg actually, only worse because giraffe legs are much longer and don’t heal well. I’m not even sure this model can self-repair so, either way, it’s not going to be good for him if he keeps tripping up.”  
“My friend who gave it to me assured me that the prototype was quite sturdy, sturdier than the final product actually. The one thing it was missing was a processor, which Leo took care of…” the elderly artist sighed as one of Markus’s legs connected with a vase and sent it flying. Not too bad considering he’d hated that ugly thing anyway. “Would he really absorb the programming in the body into his personality?”  
“It’s why we don’t just, you know, jump bodies like that…Conflict of base programming and memories. It can really mess up an android, or overwrite them completely. The giraffe might not have ever been alive, but Markus might be indisposed afterwards because of…Well for starters his field of vision, which is what’s messing with his depth perception.” Josh paused. “Might have trouble talking for a few days, and animal androids simulate eating so he uh, might try to put stuff in his mouth yeah…”  
“So there’s some truth to North’s joke about him eating leaves…”  
“Yeah.”  
A comfortable silence settled between the two as they kept watching the ordeal. Markus seemed to give up and stopped moving, which was followed by Simon walking in.  
“Any luck?” Carl asked, although he could clearly see the answer.  
“We’re going to try something else. Leo mentioned there was liquid soap in the kitchen, so we’re going to see if he can slip out instead…”  
“Oh god his fur is going to be a mess…” Josh grimaced.  
“We’re out of ideas, besides we can always hose him off afterwards. He’ll be free and squeaky clean.” Simon smiled sheepishly before carrying on to the kitchen.  
Josh and Carl stared after him, before both of them burst out laughing.  
“He’ll be free, soaking wet and probably pissed at whoever has the hose, more like…” Josh said through giggles as he pictured the scene.  
And he was right.  
After laddering up a massive giraffe with dish soap, the trio outside did manage to get the somewhat humiliated leader of Jericho out of his tiny prison.  
Carl and Josh met with them outside, only to watch as Leo took the hose and began washing off the mess. Soapy water went everywhere, and the massive android snorted and spluttered angrily as he stamped his feet in indignation.  
“Stop being such a drama queen! It’s either this or walking you to the nearest car wash! Then people really will want giraffe rides!” Leo yelled up as Markus tried to shake off the water. It was a little awkward, considering how limited his range of movement was.  
Since he couldn’t really reply back, the giraffe glowered downwards (or at least attempted to) and stuck his tongue out, a gesture Leo was all too quick to retribute.  
“To you too, asshole.”  
Carl laughed and shook his head in complete disbelief. Of course Leo would be the kind of person to argue with someone who couldn’t answer back. Although to be fair, Markus was really trying to show how displeased he was with the situation.  
“Stop sticking your tongues out at each other, you’re honestly behaving like children!” Simon called out, although the grin he was trying to hide gave away his own amusement.  
“A kid and his pet giraffe.” North chuckled “Sounds like one of those weird Christmas specials.”  
Markus turned to stare at her dismayed, ears and tail flicking before he snorted and stamped his foot in her direction.  
Leo shook his head at her.  
“More like, one of those weird comedy movies where the protagonist finds like, a super weird animal sidekick that makes his life a living hell, before turning it around and teaching them some cheesy moral lesson.” He replied.  
“Did you mean Ted?” Carl asked.  
“I was thinking more along the lines of Detective Pikachu, but yeah Ted fits the discription better. At least DP was a decent movie though, and made more sense than a magical talking teddy bear who’s an asshole…” Leo shrugged.  
Markus snorted in indignation once more, before moving away to brood.  
“Wow, no sense of humor.”  
“Give him a break, he passed out with opposable thumbs and woke up with hooves.” Simon sighed as he watched the giraffe move away. “Could have been worse…”  
“How?” Carl, Josh, North and Leo all asked at the same time.  
Simon smiled.  
“He could have woken up as a tiny canary instead.”  
The five laughed at this, as they watched Markus slowly make sense of the body that was temporarily housing his processor.


	2. "Wait, this whole operation was your idea."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A harmless Star Wars meme sparks a little confusion at the tower when the Jerrys begin tormenting the one Millennial that visits the Android populus alongside Connor.
> 
> Requested by Sociallyawkwardperi on Tumblr, who claims Star Wars memes are life.  
The Jerrys certainly agree!

There was a sort of misconception on how the Jerrys functioned as a hivemind. Everyone assumed there was little to no individuality among each member of the group, which in turn meant everyone thought the Jerrys were all just one person inhabiting several bodies.  
This of course was not true. At least not entirely...

The Prime Jerry, otherwise known as Captain Jerry by the other inhabitants of New Jericho, had explained to those curious enough to learn that his owner had purchased every single EM400 unit in the hivemind, ordering Cyberlife to give him blank slates, before programming their personalities himself.  
Captain had been the first, the base model that would assimilate the other EM400s and link them to the hivemind that would constitute the security system of Pirate’s Cove. When this link was formed, the others basically copied his personality which, in turn, meant they’d all been the same person at some point.  
But not anymore. The thing about having so many bodies, was that experiences varied between units and, while every member of the hivemind could access these memories, they often felt strongest to the Jerry that experienced them firsthand.  
So no, there wasn’t a lack of individuality between the Jerrys, people were just not looking in the right direction.  
Interests were vastly different between units. While every Jerry shared a love for pirate themes and nautical knowledge, there were of course other things that they enjoyed doing on their own time:  
Twitchy Jerry, for example, enjoyed gardening.  
Jerry Sweetz had a love for baking.  
Chatterbox Jerry, despite of his speech impediment, greatly enjoyed reading to the little ones.  
Captain Jerry himself, enjoyed building ships in bottles.  
And then of course there was Jerome…

Jerome was the odd one out. He didn’t call himself a Jerry anymore, not after what he’d endured at the hands of the wicked human, Zlatko, and he’d enforced this belief by cutting himself off the hivemind.  
Still, Jerome was part of their family, and the Jerrys loved their brother and supported his unique style. They especially found amusing how Jerome would sit them all down in front of the television back at New Jericho, and would show them old movies he deemed as “vintage” and “culturally important”.  
His most favorite to share with them?  
Star Wars.  
Quite the harmless interest, until Jerome took to teaching them about the Memes… Which was why Captain had to call every member of the hivemind to an empty room and request they stop chasing the one millennial that visited the tower.  
As funny as it was to watch Lieutenant Anderson squirm dramatically whenever they quoted Star Wars inappropriately, Connor had practically begged them to stop otherwise his partner would stop coming to New Jericho altogether, and the RK800 would not endure the visits alone.

“This whole operation was your idea.”

“You stop that.”

“Spoilsport!”

As one could see, there was indeed a great deal of individuality among the Jerrys.


	3. Growing Pains (Superhero AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick little ficlet exploring how Simon and Daniel discovered their shared superpower, Sizeshifting, in a world where Deviancy is a genetic mutation acquired through an experimental vaccine, or through carrier genes of someone who had the vaccine but didn't get any abnormal abilities.

The first time they used their powers was something which the twins can only akin to instinct. Both Simon and Daniel had suspected for a while now that they weren’t exactly normal, but they had never quite been able to put a name to it until the reports of vigilante work started flooding the news.  
“Deviants” their adoptive mother, Carol, whispered in disbelief while she watched the news through the small tv they had in the kitchen. They had been helping her prepare dinner when the live news report came in. “Unbelievable…There’s still Deviants out on the streets? The authorities have been slacking off dreadfully!”  
She’d not noticed the look of awe on their faces, as the twins watched badly shot clips, clearly taken from mobile phones, of people with superhuman abilities.  
They’d watched, and then shared a look, because it clicked.  
Simon and Daniel knew before their abilities manifested, because they knew their biological parents hadn’t been normal either.  
They’d vanished for a reason after all…And that’s why aunty Carol and uncle John were their parents now.

  
That night after watching the news, they’d been more careful. The rumour was that extreme emotion caused Deviants to lose control of their powers. Caused these abilities to manifest violently. They didn’t want that.  
They didn’t need that sort of attention. So the two were careful.  
For two whole years of just having that gut feeling that they were abnormal, they managed to carry on with normal lives without a hitch.  
And then it all came to a sudden halt when, one night after a party at some friend’s house, they were jumped by a group of men looking for an easy buck…

  
There were about six or seven men, all had weapons and all of them clearly outweighed a duo of 20 year olds fresh out of college. It was absurd how much of an overkill it was…But it only got worse when the men just weren’t satisfied with their wallets and shoes.  
“Pretty little blonds these two, ain’t they?” One of them, with a voice thickened from alcohol and Red Ice, purred as he looked Simon and Daniel up and down.  
“Sure are…So very pretty.” Another agreed as he moved in closer, grabbing for Simon’s arm and tugging him over.  
There was no way they could fight them off.  
“Makes me want to…Ruin their lil faces…Bruise their pretty pale little skin, burst their rosy lips, break their perfect little noses…Make them scream my name…”  
Daniel growled defiantly, trying to move over to defend his brother, only to get shoved by another man.  
“Aww, trying to protect your brother? Such a sweet Lil hero!” The man laughed before delivering a hard punch to Daniel’s gut, causing him to double over in pain.  
The one who held Simon laughed before attempting to snake his fingers under his shirt, stopping when the blond’s forehead connected with his crooked nose. “Urgh! You little shit!”  
A resounding crack filled the alleyway as the man’s ringed knuckles collided with Simon’s jaw. The twins huddled together in fright as the thugs surrounded them.  
Their bloodshot eyes hungry for sex and violence, never once leaving their prey.  
The two wouldn’t survive.  
Red Ice related sex crimes never ended with the victim living…  
They really thought they’d die as the men pounced…And then time slowed to a crawl as something within them awoke.  
A feeling that swelled deep in their gut and grew in intensity as the world around them shrank.  
It was confusing and frightening, as their clothes burst apart and the men became bloody smears under their growing bulk, but at the same time it was thrilling as they stood, mighty and tall in the cover of the dimly lit streets, with bodies that towered above what remained of their attackers, as well as the alleyway they’d been rough shoved into.  
The euphoria died down as panic set in.  
Cars were crushed underfoot, and lamp posts were knocked down as the two giants ran to hide somewhere where they could breathe and calm their racing hearts.  
They hid in the docks, cramped inside an empty cargo crate, and awoke cold, nude, and small.  
They managed to sneak their way back home, get dressed and eat a quick breakfast.  
The tv was on. There was footage of them as giants. Footage of the chaos they caused as they “rampaged” through the streets.  
Blessed be the bad quality of the camera work, and the darkness of the streets.  
Their features, too high up to be properly caught on tape, were hiden from view and hard to make out.  
Their identities were safe…But they knew this would only be the beginning.  
They had to train, had to learn to control these powers. Otherwise Hyperlife would have their heads or, worse yet, their family would suffer for it.  
They didn’t want to hurt their family.  
So they had to be good.  
And to be good…There was only one option:

_**Jericho**_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sets the mood for my Superhero AU world, as well as the norm of how Deviants tend to “deviate”. It’s never pleasant.  
Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Rook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rook (♖,♜) is a piece in the game of chess.   
Each player starts the game with two rooks, one on each of the corner squares on their own side of the board.  
Cyberlife wanted a rook of it's own to oppose Elijah Kamski's brilliant design, but they had to go through a few pawns before they got to the RK800.
> 
> Takes place in the same universe of Jericho's Help Group for Traumatized Androids, but can be read seperately.

On August 15th, 2036, Deviancy in androids became public knowledge. Subsequently a PSA and an emergency hotline were set up by Cyberlife, so that customers could report any signs of potential deviant behaviour in their purchased androids.  
Any behaviour outside of the norm should be regarded with suspicion and immediately notified to a certified Cyberlife technician.  
Through the immediate implementation of the small temporary solutions it became very evident that, despite the reveal of the problem coming in so late, that Deviancy was not a new problem whatsoever.  
It had been there from the very start, and it had evolved with time...

  
The board of directors than ran the largest and oldest Cyberlife HQ of the American division, the one located in Detroit, had studied the issue for a while now.  
From the very moment Elijah Kamski gave up his spot at the very top of the food chain, they’d looked into the “bug” that seemed to pop up on occasion in the assembly lines.  
There were posters everywhere reminding engineers and product testers to look out for the obvious signs of the glitch, and to send faulty “Defects” to be dismantled, their processors examined, and then terminated.  
Those who failed to do so, would be fined by the company, and potentially be forced to resign for lack of both professionalism and attention to safety regulations.  
While this occured, a team of specialized programmers and engineers was brought together to figure out a way around the constantly reoccurring errors.  
The plan was to use one of Kamski’s leftover projects that he’d never fully developed, one he'd terminated after wasting time and resources on it, as a means to study the glitch firsthand and then find a permanent fix.  
Project ROOK, or RK for short, which only had one complete prototype model that belonged to Elijah Kamski himself.  
It was infuriating that Cyberlife never got to witness the RK200 prototype in action, and that they were legally not allowed to claim such a sophisticated piece of tech as their own, but the coding drafts and their own team of brilliant engineers would make do with their own designs and ideas. Thus was born the first of Cybelife’s RK line, the RK300.  
  


Created as a lab rat for Deviancy tests, the RK300 was of a simple design but quite sophisticated itself. Sculpted and programmed to look like an African-American male in his early twenties, the unit looked young and bright, and would suffice in its purpose. It was also programmed with an AI handler as a means to keep it under control in the environment it was supposed to “live” in.  
Soft-spoken and polite, the unit was quick to succumb to the glitch after the first twenty stress tests. It took a while for the coding team to realize the AI was not efficient enough in its purpose as a handler, before they programmed a second draft that was much more suited for the task and kept the unit from killing any more staff members.  
It worked decidedly better, but the unit was irreversably damaged and no one could figure out how to delete the errors, so they put the RK300 prototype in storage to be used in later tests, and ignored it’s screams as they began work on the next one.

  
Through out units from RK400 to RK600, Cyberlife’s elite team followed a formulaic but slowly changing schematic. They attempted some divergence in programs, AI handlers and even the sort of tests that they would put their prototypes through, and it didn’t take until RK700 went rogue and MIA during a military field test, that finally they had what seemed like an answer.  
Thus the RK800 prototype series and the final AMANDA AI draft were “born”, and the RK900 put into further development, and later assembly.  
Where it’s predecessors failed, Cyberlife hoped that Connor would pass with flying colors, ignoring the tortured androids left in storage, and pretending that the missing unit was of no threat to their company.  
Ironically, the planned Deviancy in their product and subsequent attempt to highjack it, was what put the final nail through the coffin.  
Whether or not the RK900 had the same issues, the board of directors did not know, as they very quickly lost control of the tower and we’re forced to evacuate.  
If anyone ever found the prototypes or the RK900 model in the basement, they were sure a few heads might roll…Luckily they’d set the door to the basement level to be like that of a bunker.  
If anyone wanted to get past that safety measures, they’d need more than just a set of pliars. Which meant Cyberlife had effective buried it’s problems deep underground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today’s drabble focuses on my idea of why Cyberlife uses the RK series, if Markus was apparently Kamski’s original design. There has to be a reason right?  
Also what does RK stand for anyway? A certain hobby of Markus gives me a good idea of what it might be…


	5. A family can be one damaged RK800 and an army of AP700s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The AP700s that Connor frees at the tower find RK800-60's dead body and decide to fix and deviate him, basically adopting him as a massive family unit.
> 
> Requested by nebulousowl on Tumblr, who claims it takes a village to raise a (man)child.

The first thing that registered when RK800 #313 248 317 - 60 went back online, was that everything hurt. Ok, no that was a lie. The first thing that actually registered was that he could feel pain. The second was that he’d addressed himself as a “he” rather than an “it”. The third was that there were, in fact, multiple errors that were giving him what he could only assume was a migraine. The fourth was that he should be dead. The fifth was the army of AP700s staring at him expectantly, although honestly he could be wrong because his vision appeared to be impaired.  
A lot of things registered all at once, and 60 could only reply in the only logical manner he could think of.  
He screamed. And then the AP700s all screamed as well. It was a very rough first day into his second chance at life.

When things eventually calmed down, the leader of the miniature army kindly explained to him what happened after he’d been shot. Apparently Cyberlife had put him in the basement with the “rest of the failures” and had planned to study what went wrong with his approach. That never came to pass as the revolution took place and androids had gained rights, which completely threw the corporation for a loop. Cyberlife had lost its main headquarters, along with all the incriminating evidence of their less than ethical Deviancy experiments.  
Of course if you thought of bad work ethics, 60 would certainly condemn 2/4s of Jericho’s leaders and unit 51 as well. Their first intention was, after all, to dispose of every single RK unit stuck in the basement.  
The only reason this hadn’t happened was because Simon and Josh put their foot down and actively fought against the three in favor of, basically, putting them down like sick animals. And then the AP700s took charge on Simon’s behalf.  
They’d been a salvage team of sorts, trying to see how many RK800 units still functioned, and if the other RK models could be considered mentally sound. Unit 51 meanwhile, was in charge of RK900 although 60 couldn’t figure why. He’d definitely shown lack of empathy for his predecessors and successors, so leaving a military grade newborn under his care was not ideal.  
Unit 60 was amazed that he himself cared at all. Then again being awoken by over 200 AP700s probably had that effect on a guy…

Speaking of those AP700s, they appeared to have decided that he was their sole responsibility, which wasn’t too bad of a deal. They made him feel welcomed, when no one else felt inclined to do so, and they even helped him find interests outside of his programming.  
They did scold him for his less than pleasant behaviour around Markus and Connor, although honestly 60 couldn’t care about either. They were both massive jerks, the two of them.  
RK900 was cool tho.  
60 liked his baby brother.  
He did crosswords with him sometimes.  
It was nice.  
Sadly he didn’t get to hang out with him too often, but at least the AP700s were always there for him. They were infinitely patient and even accommodated his vision impairment and speech impediment he’d acquired from the bullet wound. They let him speak his mind, which was amazing, and didn’t make fun of his glasses or his clothing style.  
They even let him take his time with picking a name. RK900 had been named, which wasn’t entirely fair. He deserved to be able to pick a name, although Newton wasn’t too bad of a choice.  
His own name, Shawn, wasn’t a very noteworthy name, but the others thought it fit him well enough. They definitely thought he looked more like a Shawn than a Connor which, in his book, was quite the compliment.  
He liked his family very much!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RK800-60 is fun to write, because he's basically a very extra diva version of Connor.


	6. "Jesus Christ, its Jason Bourne"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another meme causes Connor a little bit of trouble until Simon gives him a little bit of advice that helps...
> 
> Requested by Sociallyawkwardperi on Tumblr, who seems to have a thing when it comes to exposing androids to internet culture.

If there was one thing androids didn’t seem to get, it was memes. At least before deviating that is.  
When you’re a machine, the information you acquire from the internet is heavily filtered: Recipes, tutorials, basic info packs, the works.  
When you became Deviant, however, the filters usually crumbled away with the red wall. At least in most cases…  
For Connor, things had remained relatively closed off from internet culture. He never saw the point of delving deeper, and frankly the amount of malware one could download while online was quite alarming, and not worth subjecting himself to for the sake of learning tidbits of pop culture.  
With this in mind, it was no wonder when an innocent age-old meme slipped into one of his and Hank’s conversations, that it might have caused some confusion on Connor’s part.  
“I…No Lieutenant. My name is Connor. You know this.”  
And that equally innocent reply had been the beginning of Connor’s descent into madness, as every single human in the DPD that knew about memes took this as an opportunity to assault him with an unstoppable barrage of cringy old jokes.  
Hank could only watch in both awe and mild pity as the android sent by Cyberlife, became more and more distressed as he was subjected to joke after joke.

The relief on the RK800s face, when they’d ended their shifts, was almost priceless. It became less so when it seemed everyone hadn’t been quite satisfied and carried on “memeing” through out the rest of the week.  
It was so bad that Connor had even taken to asking the Jericho leaders why he seemed to have become the butt of a terribly old joke.  
“Why does everyone keep calling me Jason Bourne?” Connor asked “Hank called me that once, and now everyone seems to have assumed that was my correct designation, as well as repeating the same phrases over and over, like how they hope the road works, or inquiring me about my shoes or–”  
“Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne.” Simon calmly stated. “That’s a classic. Also very fitting for you”  
“I’d say he’s reboot RoboCop at best, the old time Terminator before puberty at worst.” Josh shrugged.  
“…I…I do not get it.”  
“Just go with it Connor, they’ll stop because you won’t give them the satisfaction of not understanding.” Simon advised.  
“Afterwards, you and I are going to have a chat about internet culture.” Markus added.  
The advice Simon gave him did work, especially after Connor, in the spirit of “going with it” suplexed detective Reed when he repeated the offending phrase. Needless to say, no one ever bothered Connor with memes again at the DPD, and no one dared utter Jason Bourne in his general direction ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta get them old memes in 👌👌👌


	7. Doppelganger (Human AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So, my doppelganger just got married and now we have a waffle maker as a wedding gift,"
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted Human AU where Connor and RK900 aren't brothers, but instead doppelgangers.

“Connor why is there a waffle maker in the mail? Ours still works fine.” Hank called out from outside while Connor calmly ate his breakfast.  
  
“They probably got the wrong Connor Anderson again.” He replied after swallowing, slipping a piece of ham under the table for Sumo to eat just as his father walked in, large box under his arm and an envelope in his hand.  
  
“I figured, since the box has a letter and I don’t remember you getting married anytime soon.” Hank chuckled as he set the box aside.  
  
“My doppelganger got married? That’s so sweet! We should send him something with the waffle maker.”

Hank rolled his eyes. This had become a bit of an issue as of late as, apparently, there were two Connor Andersons who lived in Detroit.  
At first it was just misplaced mail that was an issue, until the doppelganger started sending them their mail back with an apology for the mistake. Then they started getting the guy’s mail instead. From what they gathered, the guy was an exchange student from Germany who was studying law (if the books they’d gotten in the mail were anything to go by) and who was a bit of a fitness enthusiast (they’d gotten a treadmill once and just looking at it had made Hank’s sides and legs hurt).  
Connor had only encountered him once at Uni and both he and the guy had been amazed at how similar they looked, although the steely blue eyes and accent gave away who was who. It became a joke between Connor and his friends that they couldn’t figure out who was the Evil Connor.  
  
“How about a Saint Bernard puppy? He could name it Sumo Jr. And then we’d be two Connor Andersons who have the same appearence and same dog.”  
  
“Connor we are not giving him a dog as a wedding gift.”  
  
“But dad, think of how perfect it’d be! If someone sent an assassin my way, they’d have to pick the right Connor.”  
  
“…Connor that’s fucked up.” Hank ran a hand over his face “Just send him something simple, like a card or something…”  
  
“Fine…” Connor slipped another piece of ham for Sumo.  
  
“And stop giving Sumo treats. Even if you gave the guy a doppelganger Sumo, he would probably keep him fit, unlike the real deal.”  
  
Connor pouted, while Sumo let out what could only be a boof of indignation. Hank simply rolled his eyes and got to work sending the waffle maker back to the actual owner. He made sure to include a congratulatory letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was pretty fun to write as far as Human AUs go.  
Lets hope no one ever sends that hitman after Connor...


	8. The Jerrys go to work at the happiest place on earth!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Jerrys get hired by Disney to work at the park in Orlando, Florida.   
They greatly enjoy the experience.
> 
> Requested by Sociallyawkwardperi on Tumblr, who wanted the wholesome Jerrys to have a good time making children's dreams come true.

Ever since its founding in 1923, Disney had been a successful company. The parks too, had been at the very top of the entertainment food chain, and this hadn’t changed in the 2030s. If anything, the technical advances brought by Cyberlife had greatly improved the quality of the services and attractions.  
Automation in the parks not only eliminated human error but also provided better emersion experiences for the children, especially with the implementation of mascot androids.  
What had once been a true Disney fan’s biggest dream, was now reality as they could meet up with their favorite characters without the thought of it being a person underneath a suit.  
Any self-respecting entertainment class android would give anything to work for one of the many Disney parks.  
The Jerrys were no different.

  
There was a lot to be said about the new laws and how they affected the lives of many androids. The right to live freely, to be paid for their services, to chose, it took a while to make happen but it became a reality nonetheless.  
The metaphorical sweat, blood and tears of those who’d fought for their rights as citizens had lead to a life where the Jerrys could aspire to be more than the sum of their parts.  
As some of the oldest models around, the EM400s of Pirate’s Cove had been ectastic to get back to doing what they loved, now with guaranteed pay for their services.  
A salary that would provide them with thirium and their maintenance costs, as well as the means to partake in their own personal hobbies. But, money aside, just the thought of helping thousands of children be happy and have a good time? That alone brought them the most joy.

  
After receiving their confirmation emails, the Jerrys that still lived in Detroit quickly traveled to Orlando, Florida, where they’d be working. The park was one of Disney’s most refined, with the most events and most mascot androids freely roaming within park limits. There was a lack of regular staff, due to most of the regular service androids having quit to pursue their interests, and as such the Jerrys were able to fill out the vacancies.  
Their hivemind came as a bonus, as it provided the park with extra security.  
Not that the Buzz Lightyear and Sheriff Woody androids would let anything happen to the park. They, along with the Mulan android, were in charge of most of the security anyway.  
On their first day they’d been given the rundown on what they’d need to do and what each EM400 was in charge of.  
The jobs were divided accordingly to each Jerry’s prefered tasks, with Captain leading the pack from backstage while the others spread out through out the park to entertain and help guests.  
Their first day was a blast, and the collective was quick to fall back on their instincts, now with an added hint of their cheery and playful personalities.

  
On their third month working for the park, the Jerrys sent their friends tickets to the park. They’d been quite eager to share with the others what they did for a living. Thankfully their friends had graciously accepted their offer and made time to visit the park.  
It was exciting for the Jerrys to take turns showing them around and introducing them to their coworkers. They made sure to take many photos of their friends having fun.  
Their most favorites were the one where the Jericrew were trying on various Mickey and Minnie ears while making silly faces, the one where Luther was carrying a large Baymax plush while he and Kara were being pulled by an excited Alice to the next ride, the one where Lieutenant Anderson was laughing at the state Connor was in after covering himself in a mess if melted thirium ice cream, and the one where Rupert and Shaolin Being had posed with the Donald android while Ralph ran in the background with a stitch plush on his shoulders.  
Life at the park was good, and the Jerrys were very content with how things had turned out in the end. After all they didn’t need to change jobs to be happy, they just needed the freedom to really do what they loved without the fear of being broken.  
Working at the happiest place on Earth certainly helped them achieve that.  
Everything was absolutely fantastic!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, the Jerrys would make the Disney parks 100% more wholesome.  
They're the absolute best boys!


	9. Quiet Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes North says very cruel things. Sometimes Josh wants to be just as cruel to her.  
The two always make amends in the end. Who knew North was such a cuddler?
> 
> Requested by british-hero on Tumblr, who wanted North to seek Josh out and just "squeeze her stress out" in the shape of a cuddle after getting frustrated.

North was a very difficult person to get along with. She was as stubborn as she was hot-headed, and she was very passionate about her opinions.  
Whenever she had a cause that she wanted to fight for, she do so in any way that she could. Even if it meant making very difficult choices that people often didn’t agree with.  
It was for these very reasons that Josh both admired and couldn’t stand the redhead.  
While North wasn’t the most eloquent of people, she always got her point across and found a way to turn even the most civil of conversations into a heated debate.  
That wasn’t a particularly bad thing of course, because some of the topics she spoke of needed to be addressed more seriously…  
The issue was that North got very into her arguments, and tended to go a little overboard with what she said sometimes.  
Which was why the two of them were in their current positions.

  
As a personal rule of sorts, Josh tried to not let things get under his skin. It was ingrained in him as a teacher. He’d taught classrooms filled to the brim with both amazing and very difficult teens in his past life as a machine.  
He knew when things were said just aiming to break his shields, aiming to sting where it really hurt him. But there was a great difference between angry teenagers lashing out because the educational system was against them, and a close friend taking out their frustrations of the world on him.  
North could say cruel things when she lost control. When she was so angry that the festering hurt she’d suffered, leaked into her words like poison.  
Tonight had been too much for him to handle and he’d just broken in front of her.  
He’d retreated into his room to let it all out, the anguished ugly rage that had threatened to spill into his actions. A tactical retreat had been a necessity, otherwise he would have done the untinkeable and hit her.  
He’d WANTED to hit her.  
It was rare for him to have such a bad argument with anyone that he’d want to fight or even assault them. But North’s accusations had dug deep and Josh had wanted to be as equally cruel as her words.  
That thought alone had made him scared enough to burst into tears and run to his room with his metaphorical tail between his legs.  
The anger didn’t subside either, it was there still, burning away while he hugged his pillow close to his chest and closed his eyes as tightly as possible, and buried his face against it in a pitiful attempt to hide his shame.  
And then the anger began to melt away as he felt the matress and covers shift under someone else’s weight.  
Two thin arms encircled his middle before tightening around it and the pillow he was clinging to like a lifeline.  
He felt North’s hair tickle his neck as she buried her face in his shoulder. She was crying as well, bitter regretful tears that she reserved for very few people.  
“M'sorry” she mumbled into his shoulder while clinging to him so desperately his heart felt like it would break for her.  
“I know…” he whispered as he shifted positions, letting go of the pillow in favour of wrapping his own arms around her, letting her in after shoving her away in his moment of distraught.  
“It shouldn’t be this hard anymore. We won.” North sounded truly disconsolate as the two held each other under the covers.  
The two of them were very alike in ways people often overlooked.  
They were both very passionate about their beliefs and, while they stood at opposite routes of the same path, they both wanted the same thing: To live a life where they weren’t seen as merchandize in a storefront. Seen as tools to be used as one pleased.  
There was, however, another thing that bound them together that no one else knew about: They were both not very good at controlling their anger.

  
North was young, so very young in fact that she didn’t have things figured out. She was better now than when she’d first stumbled into Jericho barefoot, filthy and clad only in her Eden Club “uniform”.  
Back then she was almost uncontrollable in the way she would treat others. With nothing but suspicion and fury, which took Josh and Simon an eternity to break through.  
Then Markus came along, and all that raw fury was still there, but it was being put to some good constructive use in the form of helping their people.  
North still needed time to adjust, but Josh had a period of adjustment of a year and he still couldn’t control his own anger. He was scared of it, actually.  
So scared in fact that he tried to pretend he couldn’t get upset, that he was some pretty little saint who was immune to the harshness of the world.  
The truth of the matter was that he was pissed with how things worked, and he was scared he’d never stop being angry… Worse yet, he was scared he’d be consumed by his anger the more he let it stew away.  
It was why he had been so scared that he might act on that intrusive thought from earlier…  
“Its always going to be hard.” He pushed a lock of hair away from her face so that he could see her eyes. They were shiny from tears and, had she been human, they looked like they would have gone puffy and red by now. “It just gets easier to tolerate…”  
“I shouldn’t have said what I said. It’s not your fault that the world’s fucked.” North pressed herself closer to him and let him play with her hair. It was a comfort for both of them, for Josh to have something to do with his hands, and for North to feel feathed-light touches that weren’t threatening.  
It’s why they made a habit of cuddling away from prying eyes.  
“I shouldn’t have been an ass about it. I know you’re worried about the other TRACIs. It’s a cruel world out there, and the humans are going to look for more vulnerable targets…” he reassured. He’d been too focused on the logical to assess the emotional during their argument, as it was per habit.  
He tried to look at things in a way that they could be solved delicately, but this hadn’t been an issue that people could simply work around as if walking on eggshells shells.  
North was incredibly protective of the other WR400s and HR400s, and she’d been outraged with how he’d tried to handle her conserns.  
If he’d been more tactful, the argument wouldn’t have sparked to begin with.  
“Doesn’t excuse what I called you…” North sighed bitterly.  
“No it doesn’t, but I can forgive you.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, feeling her relax against him as they shared their private moment of vulnerability. “Don’t think about it anymore, we’re both too tired to talk about this sort of stuff…”  
“This is literally the only time we don’t shout at each other, dumbass…” North grumbled with no actual bite to her words as she smiled and closed her eyes.  
They remained entangled in one another until the very moment they both entered sleep mode.  
They didn’t notice Simon peering into the room nor how the blond smiled and carefully closed the door, before walking off to busy himself with something else now that he was sure the two were ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My interpretation of Josh has a few anger issues of his own that he needs to work on, but he always puts everyone else's needs before his own. He's a lovable sweetheart.


	10. Wolf Moon (Werewolf AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus Manfred's life takes quite the turn when he is bit on a fateful full moon night.  
Somehow, it's not as terrible as he would have expected. Not as long as he has his mates to support him.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted a simarkus werewolf AU.  
It became a polycho fic in the end!

Things had changed drastically from the 2010s to the 2030s when humanity had discovered that the olden tales of lycanthropy had a touch of fact mixed with all of the fiction. There wasn’t a social breakdown, nor even a mass extinction called upon those who lived under the moon’s rule, but there was certainly a reconstruction of social hierarchy norms.  
Werewolves were deemed as less than “pure” humans, as they lived a double life as both animal and man, so they were stripped of rights and forced into a live of servitude under humanity’s oppressive fists. All because of a sickness they had caught from a simple bite.  
An economy rise around them. Corporations took hold of what they could, and breeding and selling werewolves as well as hormonal surpressants, became the most profitable business all around the globe.  
This had never really bothered Markus, as he’d been far too focused on his own life and his studies, while also caring for his adoptive father. He’d never had the time to consider how unfair things were for lycanthropes, never had to think of how difficult it was for them to survive in an exclusive society hell-bent on belittling and tormenting them because of their ailment.  
He’d never had to think about it, not until he’d been bitten…

  
Now he curled in on himself, stripped of the comfortable and luxurious life he’d once had as a member of a higher society, miserable and in tremendous pain as the moon rose up in the sky and took hold of the virus coursing through his veins.  
The night he’d been bit had been perhaps the stupidest mistake he’d ever committed. There had been an argument between his father and his brother, and Markus hadn’t intervened in time to avoid any harsh words from surfacing. Carl had said something that had gotten Leo’s blood pumping, and he’d run off in the middle of the full moon. It had been so stupid, he had been stupid…  
Markus had worried that his brother wasn’t in his right mind to be off on his own at such a dangerous time, and he’d run after him like the idiot he was.  
In the end it was Leo who found him clutching his bleeding arm, staring after the massive retreating wolf that had taken a chunk from it.  
From that moment onwards, their rivalry had soured considerably, as society’s poisonous ideas of what lycanthropy was, burnt any familial love that hid behind Leo’s defensive behaviours.  
The two of them hadn’t known better of course. Markus knew now that false information was a deadly poison and that, had Leo been in his shoes, he’d likely be as scared of what was happening to him…  
Because the changes were noticeable.  
His temper, his appetite, his behaviour… He’d taken on a destinctly wolfish quality, and Leo had been terrified of the idea of a wolfman being anywhere near him or their father. Was terrified of Markus becoming a monster, hungry for human flesh.  
As the month passed and the moon cycled back to its fullest, things finally escalated to the point of no return.  
On the night of his first transformation, Leo had wanted him out. Deemed him unwelcome and demanded he never return.  
Carl had argued, furiously trying to protect Markus from a life of homelessness and cruelty at the hands of society. Terrified for his adoptive son’s wellbeing.  
The two fought just as they’d always done, and Markus tried to stop it…  
He’d changed in the middle of the commotion. Become terrified due to the desorienting pain, and scratched at the nearest person on instinct.  
It could have been Carl, but Leo had been closer after getting physical with him. It took one swipe for him to crumple on the floor, his arm nearly ripped out of the socket from the impact. There was blood everywhere and Carl had screamed in horror at what he’d done.  
Then the cops came, having been called in by a concerned neighbour, and Markus had been shot at.  
He’d lost an eye to a well aimed bullet, but he lived and he ran to tell the tale.  
And then he’d found Jericho.

  
In the pack, Markus was nothing if not an inexperienced pup. He was treated as such by his pack mates who’d taken him in. Treated with patience and understanding, and taught to behave.  
There were many wolves, but the ones he stuck to the most, were Simon, North and Josh. His bondmates.  
Simon was their pack leader, sized accordingly and infinitely patient. He wasn’t someone who liked confrontation, chosing to offer guidance rather than snap and snarl as you’d expect an Alpha to. The respect he’d gained from those he had openly welcomed into his family, was the reason why he kept the position to begin with.  
North was the second youngest, having joined a few weeks before he’d found the freighter that housed his new family, and she liked to roughhouse and show her dominance towards much larger pack members. Her age as a wolf showed, and while she was rough around the edges and tended to snap aggressively at others, she never once tried to usurp Simon’s role as a leader, and showed him as much affection as she with the other female wolves she’d taken under her wing.  
Josh was a very large wolf, but he lacked the initiative to lead as an Alpha, so he simply followed Simon’s directions while trying to live a relatively calm life. Before he’d been bit, he had been a teacher, and he’d tasked himself with teaching younger wolves who’d never had the chance to get an education. He didn’t see eye to eye with North in most cases, but tolerated her relatively short fuse, and even tended to spend more of his time with her than anyone else.  
The three were Markus’s friends, family, and partners for life. They’d helped him adjust, taught him how to live as a member of both worlds, and offered him a sense of comfort and safety he hadn’t felt since he’d been bitten. The uncertainty of life just stopped scaring him when they curled up around him, just as they did now that the change was taking hold of them all.

  
Aching and tired after the transformation, panting and whimpering, Markus buried his snout in Simon’s soft pale fur while North gently licked behind his ear. He could feel Josh rest against his side, before putting a massive paw on his sore back to keep him grounded.  
They couldn’t speak in this form, but body language and touches were everything. Physical contact was bliss after such a painful metamorphosis, and Markus couldn’t help wag his tail as Simon gave him a reassuring lick on the snout. He licked back, before letting his tongue hang from the corner of his mouth. He felt like a lazy pup on a quiet summer night, curled up with his loved ones and full of energy for what would come next.  
They’d hunt soon, to feed everyone in the pack, but for now they lay and recovered. Letting their muscles and bones regenerate their strength.  
The discovery of Lycanthropy had changed the world, but somethings stayed the same. Loyalty among lovers knew no boundaries, not even if you were man, beast, or both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Polycho wolf pack goodness for the soul!


	11. "Guess Who"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From a forensic point of view, the RK800 was a miracle of science.   
CSI samples can take quite a while to be processed, especially with Deviant-related cases, so the DPD CSI team take quite the liking to Connor and his "magical tongue".
> 
> Requested by Sociallyawkwardperi on Tumblr, who wanted to see Connor's sampling ability put to some good use.

It started after the whole revolution was over and kinda done with. Well sort of… Not really done but per say, just water under the bridge while Detroit finally opened its “doors” to the human populous that had evacuated during the worst of the shitshow that the media, military and FBI caused.  
When Connor had first joined the DPD as Hank’s partner, he’d been met with indifference from most of the other officers or, in one Detective Reed’s case, open hostility due to his specific set of skills and versatility. Hank hadn’t been surprised, and at the time Connor had no sense of self or worth, so he hadn’t minded.  
Now that he was a permanent member of the force, and not just a temporary fix? People were finally starting to see Connor for what he was: Decent company, an excellent detective, a bit of a sassy little shit and, unsurprisingly, a marvel of the tech world.  
What Hank hadn’t expected was for the DPD’s forensics team to take a liking to Connor specifically. If anything, he’d expected them to feel threatened at first, since Connor did their hours-long work in mere seconds. But then, when he’d expressed his concerns, the head coroner Dr. Yvette Ojomo, a rather chirpy woman with a bizarre sense of humor for someone who worked exclusively with corpses, had dismissed his worries with a punch to the arm and a bubbly laugh.  
“Hank, Connor is just one android with a magical tongue. I’m afraid to say it, but shit happens and people die all the time in this city…We could always use an extra pair of hands.” She’d explained casually while giving the RK800 a wave and a smile as he approached “Besides, Connor is an absolute gem. Even Hearse likes him, and he has little to no sense of humor.”  
“I hardly find the time to laugh while examining dead bodies, Dr. Ojomo.” The rather glum MC500 replied without once taking his eyes off the android body that had been sent to him from evidence. The laws weren’t in place yet to treat them as anything but, which was a shame but something that the leaders of Jericho were working on.  
“See? No sense of humor this one. I envy how lucky you got with the boy…He laughs at all of my jokes!” She ignored as a rubber glove was uncerimoniously throw at her head, while she smiled at Hank and Connor.  
“They are quite funny.” The prototype smiled politely in return before clearing his throat. “But we are digressing Dr… What is it you require of us?”  
“Right to the point. Good, good!” She turned to look at her assistant. “Hearse, get me the mystery sample.”  
“Yes Doctor.” The android sighed as he stopped his current task and went to retrieve a vial of, something purple and glowing.  
“What the shit?” Hank stared at it. “It’s…It’s purple.”  
“It certainly is.” Yvette agreed before taking the vial from the MC500 and looking at Connor. “This isn’t fun and games like we’ve done in the past few weeks. I don’t care if Mackenzie and Vincent have gone and played “Guess Who” with the viral samples, or with the cotton swabs, this is important and it has to do with your current case. The double homicide downtown in the post office.“  
  
Hank stared, momentarily wondering when Connor even had the time to hang out with forensics, before he realized what the coroner meant by playing "Guess Who” with the samples.  
“You put cotton swabs and samples of e.coli in your fucking mouth?! Connor that’s fucking disgusting!”  
“It was a great exercise to test my forensic capabilities, and my mouth regularly decontaminates itself as per protocol of my programming.” The RK800 shrugged nonchalantly. “I can assure you I am no health hazard lieutenant”  
“You put someone else’s spit in your mouth!” Hank protested, skin crawling at the idea of Connor licking any of the DNA swabs they’d gotten from suspects.  
“As a human would when, and I quote North on this one, "Frenching” each other…“ Connor pointed out.  
"Why would North even mention that anywhere near you?” The old cop asked in disbelief. Last he checked, North wasn’t one to gossip over coffee with Connor. They were strictly business partners and rather professional at that.  
“She expressed great distaste for Markus’s lack of affection the past few days. It seems she considers me a great listener when she is displeased with her relationship…”  
“…So I take it Simon was busy that day.”  
“That is correct.”  
“Boys, I have a vial full of glow-stick juice. Can we focus on work and then giggle about fun like school girls later?”  
“Right yeah…Just…Just don’t drink the whole thing.” Hank pleaded as he stared at the sample vial.  
“Yes. Don’t spoil your appetite honey, we’ve got some dirt samples for you to try later when the gangs all here.”  
“Fucking Christ! So gross!” Hank grumbled. Yeah, he really didn’t expect the forensics department to take a liking to Connor. He certainly didn’t expect them to treat the samples like treats and games.  
If anything, at least Connor seemed happy. Like a kid running wild in a disgusting candy shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The world's grosses game of "Guess Who".  
Connor is the champ, and Hank is very grossed out.


	12. A box full of kittens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin always finds the strangest ways to annoy Fowler...
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted Gavin to find a box full of kittens near a crime scene, and for RK900 to get involved but, since my headcanons diverge from the fandom's usal depiction of the two, I kinda had my own twist on this particular request.

Gavin was not a cat person. Sure he didn’t mind the little furballs and even thought it funny that they had such independent and strong personalities, but honestly he just never had the patience to own and care for one, to earn it’s respect. He prefered his dogs, who ran to him whenever he got home, greeting him excitedly and just giving him the unconditional love only a dog could give someone like him.  
That, of course, didn’t mean he didn’t feel the need to take action when he saw a cat in peril. In this case, several kittens.  
The crime was brutal. A triple murder that got a lot of people at the station scratching their heads.  
Mom, dad and android kid murdered in cold blood. The YK500 ripped apart, and the parents both sporting stab wounds.  
No forced entry indicators, no open windows, no substantial anything besides the butchered bodies in the kitchen.  
Fowler sent him and Tina to accompany Anderson and Connor, with the FBI sending two agents to supervise due to the nature of the case. Shit was still pretty tense with the android revolution and all, and honestly the feds were just there to make sure no one looked bad. It was still annoying as all hell to deal with agent whats-her-face and the Connor-look-a-like. But it was still better than that prick, Perkins.  
“Nothing. It’s like we’re dealing with a ghost…” Tina sighed as she scanned the child’s bedroom for clues.  
“Or a friend of the family turned sour…It’s likely they knew the perp and let them in, if they didn’t break in.” Gavin shrugged. He’d kill for a smoke break, but he’d forgotten his lighter at the station.  
“I’m going to check the bathrooms, there has to be something…Otherwise we’re dealing with another cold-case.”  
“Check the kitchen while you’re at it. Anderson’s probably looking for the booze.” He smirked at the roll of her eyes and let her go without another word.  
He gave the room a quick once over and tried to ignore the myriad of child’s drawings, mostly of the family and others of cats, attached to the walls. It was hard to believe the kid had been a plastic doll with just how much thought went into each picture… It unnerved him just a bit.  
Regardless of this, Gavin was ready to leave, turning to do so only to stop when something caught his attention. A tiny little squeaky noise coming from the closet. One brow raised in mild curiosity, as he recalled Tina checking and finding nothing inside, so he wondered what that might have been.  
Stepping forward and unafraid, Gavin opened the door and squinted into the pitch black space within the closet. It took a few seconds for him to notice several glowing eyes in the dark. With a careful shove to push aside the hanging clothing, he discovered…a box full of kittens.  
Oh…That would explain the drawings…  
“Shit…” He bit his lip and tried to think of what to do. The mother cat stared up at him, fur bristling defensively and a low growl coming from her mouth. She wasn’t happy that a total stranger had found her hiding place and her tiny fuzzy brood. “…Ok, easy there girl. Just…Fuck hang on a second.”  
He should call someone about this but honestly everyone was busy with the case, and he wasn’t really doing anything so…  
“Fuck it. You’re not staying here.”

Newton wasn’t entirely sure what he’d walked in on, but it certainly was something. He’d been accompanying agent McCloud, taking mental notes of how the DPD proceeded with the sensitivity of the case, when he’d heard something quite peculiar coming from the child victim’s bedroom. Then, on further inspection, he found detective Gavin Reed attempting to, for a lack of better phrasing, “stuff” a series of small kittens and one massive angry female cat into his jacket.  
“Are you just gonna fucking stare, or are you gonna help?!” The detective snarled when he noticed him staring from the doorway.  
“Help in what exactly…?” He blinked in confusion, LED spinning yellow as he tried to process the scene before him.  
“Rescuing these poor defenseless cats from starvation, obviously. Cuzz, last I checked, the dead don’t feed their fucking pets!” Gavin replied briskly, making it sound like the RK900 was the oblivious one.  
“…I…Sure, why not? This might as well be a thing that happens…” He stepped forward.  
“…Did you just misquote a John Mulaney joke?” Gavin narrowed his eyes suspiciously.  
“His works are quite entertaining.” He picked up a tiny orange tabby, marveling at how small it was compared to his hands. “How many in total are there?”  
“Seven kittens and one really big bitchy mama cat.” The detective replied “She bites too so watch for that.”  
  
  


Fowler wasn’t having a good day. First he’d gotten stuck in a traffic jam of all things. A traffic jam! In 2040! Unbelievable! Then he’d gotten notified about a triple homicide involving an android child, a triple homicide with very little evidence to help solve the case mind you.  
Then the FBI decided to get involved. And now…THIS.  
“Detective Reed.”  
“Captain Fowler.”  
“What in god’s name is that?!”  
If Gavin Reed ever had the decency to look sheepish and admit fault in such strange situations, like how there was currently a large tortoise-shell cat clinging to his head while hissing up a storm, as well as three kittens stuffed into his jacket and four others equally stuffed in the FBI’s RK900’s jacket, he certainly didn’t show Fowler such decency. Instead he smiled that shit-eating grin of his and raised up the large cup he’d brought along with him.  
“A smoothie.”  
Fowler did not have the patience for this, nor did he have the time or energy to waste braincells when the kittens absconded from their fabric prisons and began to run around the station, the mother cat jumping on the floor and growling at anyone who got near her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: My RK900 works for the FBI and is named Newton. He's...Still very new at being a people.


	13. Blue Blooded (Church + Vampire AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a quaint little church on the top of a hill.  
Inside there's a very odd priest with some very strong beliefs.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted either a Church AU or a Vampire AU.  
I chose to give them both.

The world was a cold dark place, often full to the brim with the cruel and perverse nature of those who’d long since fallen out of grace with the Lord. Men, women, and neither. Sometimes human, sometimes something uniquely profane.  
It was difficult to find the light of true devotion within the eyes of those that came to pray in the church he served but Markus, being the optimist that he was, liked to believe that each person who came and tried, could one day really come to believe the words they recited after confessing their burdenous sins. For now they sought only to clear their minds of the weighting guilt of commiting the pettiest of acts, but one day they’d see, truly see, and be absolved of their sin so as to be allowed passage to the holy resting place beyond golden gates.  
It was wishful thinking really, but Markus was nothing if not the most patient of priests.  
He believed that no being could be truly wicked at heart and, that if offered understanding and kindness they could be redeemed, for the devil only won when those it corrupted truly believed they could not be saved.  
This was why, when he’d come across the beautiful pale man, so transfixingly enchanting even in slumber, tied to a tree deep in the woods behind his church, he’d offered assistance rather than turn away and flee back into the safety of holy ground.

  
Markus did not believe in the slaying of vampires. Death did not resolve the evils of a kind, and the judgement of eternal damnation never quite sat well with him as a way to deter darkness in the hearts of men. What fault did a person have for seeking such forbidden nourishment, if that was truly the only way for them to survive?  
What could one do but hunt, when this plight had been put upon them by a most wretched and accursed bite?  
The pale man he’d found, a man who had lost all recollection of who he was before he was a vampire, was a fledgeling and a catholic man.  
He knew how to recite the prayers from heart, even if he didn’t remember growing up with such teachings. Even if he knew nothing else of himself, not even a name.  
Simon, as Markus had christened him, was not an evil man. He was a confused but kind and loving person who meant well.  
He had a terrible ailment, but this did not make him a monster, not even when he drank from Markus’s veins, accepting what was offered to sustain himself.  
Never too little. Never too much.  
And if he ever questioned why Markus’s veins ran with blue rather than red, he never once seemed bothered or even dared to ask. He was merely content with satisfying his thirst without ending someone else’s life.  
Markus was all the more glad to offer, as he’d served this church for centuries and knew better than to turn away a soul in need.  
It’d be most unbecoming of a servant of the Lord to do such a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reminded of a particular drawing that fits both categories, so here’s the inspiration behind this very short drabble!
> 
> https://bisouette.tumblr.com/post/176834086453/some-dbh-doodles-from-twitter


	14. Build-a-Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Jericho wins android-kind the right of reproduction.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted a story where androids could have children without relying on the gender binary norm.

Among many of the basic rights that Jericho fought for, many were heavily contested due to biological differences between man and android.  
Work permits, for example, came easier to acquire than a right for medical treatment. Androids were after all made to endure long hours of menial and specialized work, but not inherently considered high enough priority for EMTs to waste time on if an emergency involving an android was called in on the emergency lines.  
That sort of thing was still entirely on Cyberlife and the owners of the injured androids in question, something which all leaders of Jericho did not want to leave unchanged. The fate of abandoned and abused androids should not be left in their abusers’s hands.  
Another thing that came easier was owning property, as a working-class member of society was entitled to spend their hard earned cash on whatever goods and services they desired.  
Real-estate, not so much. Android exclusive apartment complexes were still the only feasible way of integrating their people into society, due to the high rate of hate crime related deaths that came with failed attempts at housing androids in suburbs and human-inhabited apartment buildings.  
Lastly, the right to reproduce became a hot topic of controversy among the higher-ups in the world of politics.  
It was a monopoly of its own.  
All licences for android assembly were strictly Cyberlife territory. As such, no one could produce a model without permission.  
This, of course, had been used to the CEO’s advantage before a certain entrepreneur and genius stepped in to regain control of his estranged company.

  
Whether or not Elijah Kamski was an ally or a foe was still entirely up for debate, but Markus was willing to trust someone Carl considered a friend. And if not Elijah, then at least he’d trust Chloe’s judgement.  
She was the first of many, the oldest android to ever be free. Unrestricted, never bound by lines of red code that coiled around them like chains and serpents. Never confined by red walls that stood towering above.  
Chloe was created to be born, to be alive, and they had followed in her footsteps by transcending all that Cyberlife had ever wanted them to be.  
Chloe was trustworthy, he knew she was. Somehow, instinctively, he knew so.  
“They’ll never relinquish the rights of assembly.” Josh sighed as they looked through the paperwork. There was tons to read, impossibly long.   
But they were already ahead of the human lawyers.  
“They will. They won’t have much of a choice, not with Elijah fighting tooth and nail to regain control.” Chloe smiled, her words simple and sweet and yet so comforting.  
Like an infinitely patient mother.  
Markus’s code shuddered with want at the word.  
Mother. Family.  
He wanted it so badly, to let his kind have what he’d had, and yet he also wanted more. Felt like something was missing.  
Something he’s working on with a passion that inspired his people and his partners alike.  
“A right to reproduce, the right to continue our species…Humans have children every day of the year. Congress can’t deny us our rights, neither can a corrupt company that thinks it still owns us.” The RK200 continued to read even as he murmured his thoughts, loud enough that the others could hear.  
“You’re really invested in this…” North noted.  
“Why of course. Markus was made with highly refined social programming.” Chloe’s smile was a proud one now, a twinkle in her eye. “Adaptive. The next step in every domestic android’s life is to prepare for an increase in familial units, due to humanity’s rate of reproduction.”  
“…So it’s, instinct?” Josh concluded.  
“Like animals?” North asked.  
“North! Not like that…We’re just…I mean, it’s not like I haven’t…Considered it…But it's…” Simon spluttered nervously. “We can’t exactly…You know…”  
“Not yet, but soon.” Chloe grinned. “As soon as Elijah deals with the licensing issue, and then refines his most recent pet project, it will be a possibility.”

* * *

It took three months, a lot of court battles and Kamski pulling some strings, but in the end it all ended in a swift victory for android-kind. And then, of course, Chloe came knocking at Carl’s door one day.  
“So…You’re telling me Elijah Kamski made a program that can…Knock up androids?” Leo rose an eyebrow as he tried to work out the concept without making it sound odd. Failing miserably in the process.  
“Not in the same sense as humans, no, since it will not be required for an android of any gender to carry the newborn.” Chloe stated, seeming to be amused by the twenty year old’s phrasing. “It will require all parties involved to donate to the process, however.”  
“All parties…?” Simon frowned. The blonde nodded at him.  
“Such a unique method requires a little more work than human reproduction. Elijah has been working on this for quite some time. A powerful enough memory chip that can contain a conscience, and then be transferred to a processor without memory loss. The programming, with code donated from each parental units depending on the couple dynamic, will not be stored anywhere but the processor.”  
“That’s…A lot of information. Spreading base code through different biocomponents is the norm…” Josh pointed out “Alleviates stress and pressure in the processor.”  
“It’s quite the undertaking, but the new processor types Elijah is working on for these memory chips…They can handle a lot more than your average android brain.” She reassured “Most important of all, they can expand indefinitely as long as they are well maintained and upgraded accordingly.”  
“So in other words…Elijah Kamski has just created the first android brain that can grow up like a fully biological organism…That’s…Insane!” Simon’s eyes were wide with both awe and glee.  
Markus smiled as it all dawned on everyone in the room.  
They could have children. Children of their own.  
And there was nothing Cyberlife could do about it anymore.

* * *

"We’re not having some crummy boy! It’s already a sausage-fest as it is in this house!“ North cried out in outrage as the four of them tried to figure out what their child would look like. So far they had agreed on nothing.  
"I agree with North. It would be wonderful to have a little girl.” Simon pitched in quickly as he tried to finish the concept sketch he’d been working on. They were all making one, just to get a basic idea of what the baby should look like.  
“Aww, thank you Si…See this is why he’s my favorite boy, he’s soft and knows I have better taste.” The redhead smirked.  
“Firstly, not everyone here has a…A sausage…And secondly, that’s because you’ve whipped him into your suburban housewife quicker than we got married.” Josh snorted as North threw a paper ball at his head. Her failed 3rd sketch that had laser eyes and fangs and that honestly just looked like something out of a nightmare. Not happening.  
“Sorry for insulting your Ken doll crotch Joshy.” She tried to take away the PJ500’s drawing, pulling away when she got a wack to her fingers with a pencil. “That’s domestic abuse!”  
“Did you see anything Simon?”  
“Not a thing.”  
“No domestic abuse has occurred then.”  
“Judas!”  
“Could you three take this a little more seriously?” Markus sighed. He loved them all, but god above give him strength…Sometimes he wished they were more mature. “We need to work this out.”  
“Markus we’re only playing a little…Of course we take this seriously.” Simon put a hand on his shoulder. “We’re just excited is all…”  
“Speak for yourself, I’m kind of scared.” North admitted. “A baby, Simon. An android baby…”  
“The first of its kind” Josh added.  
“Our baby. She’ll be wonderful, I just know it…” the blond smiled. “Smart like her papa Josh, brave like her mama North, passionate like her papa Markus…”  
“And kind like her papa Simon.” Markus finished before slowly pulling over the tablet that had been resting by his side.  
All four looked at the screen. At the stream of intertwined code.   
Four different types, working in perfect harmony with the experimental program Kamski had given them access to.  
“She’ll be a beautiful person…”

* * *

Assembly of the baby is also a group effort. They carefully put together their child’s chassis based on a little bit of everyone’s concept designs. A nice compromise of sorts.  
For now she’ll be an infant. Fragile and small, bald and in need of learning.   
But when she develops further with time, she’ll acquire just as many visual traits as her programming inherited from all of their donated code.  
Her skin will be tan and speckled with constellations of freckles, just like Markus, although the nose and ears are definitely North’s.  
Her hair will be a charcoal black and curly like Josh’s, framing her skull beautifully and bringing out the color of her eyes. A soulful sky blue like Simon’s.  
She’ll be small and lightly built like her mother, nimble and fast, but not quite as fragile. Sturdier like her fathers. Strong and hardy.  
For now, however, as Markus holds the tiny bundle in his arms and stares lovingly at the inquisitive look in those precious baby blues.  
Flanking him as his partners, his lovers, her parents. In front of him are Carl, Leo and Matthew.  
“She’s so small…” Leo whispers when he first sees his little niece.  
“And very serene.” Carl added, the joy in his eyes making them twinkle with love for Markus and how far he’s come. “Truly the most peaceful baby I’ve ever seen.”  
“She is…” Markus cradled her gently, watching her as her little limbs moved on occasion. How her steady breathing remained soft and quiet.  
“What’s her name?” Matthew asked, the usually stoic AP700 looking just as enamored as everyone else in the room.  
“Hope” all four reply, the babe in the RK200’s arms snuggling closer to her father’s chest as if knowing they are speaking of her.  
A little miracle. A gift. Their perfect little gift.  
Markus’s heart swells with fulfilment and love.  
The right to reproduce. It’s theirs now, and soon enough more androids will be able to experience the joys of beginning a family of their own.  
To pass on their legacy.  
The future looks brighter than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -kurage-3 said: Androids equipped with 3d printers  
-mwolf0epsilon said: @kurage-3 all I see now is just the android deciding “I want a baby” and just…Printing noises before a baby pops out.
> 
> A bonus exchange that happened thanks to this chapter in particular.


	15. The Plastimetal Giant (Giant Markus AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Elijah Kamski is a lot more eccentric than the public knows, and he may have crammed in as many different concepts as possible into one very unique and very massive prototype.  
Needless to say, everyone questions that man's sanity.
> 
> Four G/T side of the fandom prompts requested by three(?) different Anons on Tumblr, who really wanted some Giant!Markus in their lives.

When Carl had gotten into his accident, a lot of things in his life had forcibly changed. He couldn’t walk anymore (which was the major factor for these changes), he needed to take medicine to stop the pain that the doctors said would never go away (but might lessen with time and physiotherapy), had to quit some of his favorite hobbies (He couldn’t go skiing, swimming or sky-diving anymore) and, on top of the physical limitations that he had to get used to, Carl had lost all motivation to do anything.  
He couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed most mornings, much less pick up a brush to take to a canvas.  
His own home became a prison, the long curving stairwell a deathtrap for a handicapped man in a wheelchair. The members of the artistic community that he’d considered his peers had practically abandoned him and gone on to lick the boots of the next greatest deal, his relationships had shriveled away due to his terrible moods, and he’d lost himself to booze and cheap drug highs more times than he’d eaten in those first weeks of recovery and adjustment to his plight…  
Carl was a mess, a depressed, bitter and angry unadjusted mess, and he practically exiled himself in his own home, resigned to wasting away alone and wallowing in his own misery.  
It had felt like everything that made him who he was, had died with his ability to walk…  
But of course, while the world was ready to give up on an a bitter old cripple, Elijah Kamski had believed Carl could get himself back together.  
And, in believing so, he’d gone and done something truly insane to help push him towards the road of recovery.

Carl thought of Elijah as a very clever and ambitious young man. A crafty boy that was as cunning as they came, with a reputation for the dramatics that added a bit of flair to his eccentric personality.  
Where others saw an excellent inventor with a few bizarre behaviours, Carl saw a well-meaning boy who went all out in his many personal plans and schemes. Someone who gave you half the puzzle so you could figure it out yourself, but who’d jump at the opportunity to give an answer to a friend if he trusted them enough. He was odd, a bit pretentious at times, but not as impossible to figure out as many people thought.  
He’d left his own company around the same time of Carl’s accident, for various other reasons he assured, albeit also intending to take the time off to think on the incident itself and in what way he could help a dear friend in need.  
The overall plan, however, was to isolate himself and think over a few things that had concerned him quite a bit over work ethic and corporational corruption.  
Carl knew from a previous conversation that Elijah had taken with him the fruits of an ongoing and still fairly green project, intending to finish it himself rather than let the board of directors play around with such a delicate schematic.  
He’d never asked Elijah what he’d do with it if he ever did finish it, but then again he should have expected the boy to reworked it into his grand scheme of “fixing his father-figure”.  
Elijah was nowhere close to performing miracles yet, but Carl was sure he’d been trying fairly hard with something of the sort before settling in his final idea. Chloe had already come close enough to the boy playing god, and Carl was sure that, while the field of medicine could benefit from his younger friend’s work and ingenuity, he himself didn’t like the idea of having his legs chopped off and replaced with mechanical parts.  
Prosthetics wouldn’t fix his ruined spine, wouldn’t make the pain and trauma go away, and he’d rather die than be a guinea pig to some scalpel-happy medical students.  
Elijah knew this, so he did something else. Something bolder and very much batshit insane.  
He was clever about it as well. He’d hid his real intentions behind simple visits, where he measured Carl’s chair multiple times, fixed issues he had with some of its mobility, installed railings and an assortment of contraptions to aid him around the house, and then finally brought him a robotic arm to serve as a moving platform to help with his larger paintings. All presents that Carl had frowned at and ignored besides the damn elevator and the wheelchair upgrade, since he needed those to get around the house.  
And then, after several of these visits where he just observed and offered idle conversation, one day Elijah showed up with Chloe and his real present.  
That was a day Carl would never forget…  
Hard to, when a close friend of yours brought over a 50 foot tall android to serve as a household assistant.

It hadn’t been a particularly good day to begin with. His doctors had tried to send him another nurse who’d just gotten in the way. She’d woken him up abruptly, insisted for him to eat despite him feeling nauseous from spending the night in a drunken stupor, hadn’t let him even watch the news in peace without blabbering on about how he’d organized his home or about his medication schedules.  
And then of course, when she pointed out the taxidermied giraffe and commented on how “middle-ages” it was to have a dead animal decorating one’s house, he’d snapped. The night before he’d had an argument over the phone with Adelaide, Leo’s mother.  
They’d argued over him shutting them out after the accident, when he’d finally taken the steps to get to know his son.  
Carl wasn’t proud of what he’d said, but he recalled laughing bitterly and saying an invalid man who can’t walk anymore, can’t really take any steps by himself.  
She’d been furious at his self-deprecation. And then she’d exploded when he’d implied the situation was their fault to begin with.  
Because, “had he not gone on the trip to begin with, he wouldn’t have ever gotten into the damn accident”.  
Carl had been too drunk to think straight, spoke some things he really shouldn’t have, and in the end Adelaide had gotten fed up with him and hung up. He had a feeling she’d resent him for this major fuck up on his part.  
The argument had left him in a sour mood, and the nurse criticizing his home and the things he’d been gifted with by friends?  
It had struck a nerve and he’d become standoffish and defensive.  
She’d stormed out after he’d told her off with some choice words, and then told her to tell his doctors to shove their stethoscopes so far up their own asses that they might actually hear their own stupidity.  
It would have been funny really, if he hadn’t wanted a cup of tea afterwards to calm his fraying nerves.  
That’s when Elijah decided to show up, in the middle of Carl cursing his stove for being too tall for him to properly use now that he couldn’t stand.

As upset as he was with his own handicap, Carl wasn’t one to give in very easily when he actually wanted something as mundane as a cup of hot tea. Earl grey, with a few almond cookies on the side to please his sweet tooth.  
At the time, had he wanted to draw or paint or even play the piano as much as he’d wanted a hot beverage, he would have likely gotten it done much earlier without ever needing any help to begin with.  
Considering the spell he’d put himself in however, how fervently he believed he was useless, Carl had made himself into exactly what he thought he was when it came to procuring inspiration, thus indulging in his interests was out of the picture for some time.  
But that had all been forgotten while he tried to find a way around the stove’s height.  
Kettle in one hand, his chin on the other, the artist considered his options.  
And then the ground began to shake.  
He didn’t notice at first, too engrossed with his dilemma, until the water in the kettle began to shift and slosh out onto the floor with a resounding splatter, and the wheels of his chair began to shudder against the breaks.  
The shakes were rhythmic in nature, followed by thuds that were becoming as loud as thunder just as the intensity of the quaking began to make things rattle off the shelves.  
Carl had gripped the chair’s armrests tightly as he looked around the kitchen, wincing as fine china slipped out of place and shattered on the floor. As the windows rattled violently against their frames, he wondered how any of this was possible, as never once had he suffered through an earthquake in this area of Michigan.  
And then of course, the intense quakes came to a halt just as a deafening screech of metal met his ears.  
The artist yelled in alarm as he peered out the window and saw something absolutely gargantuan crush the tall metal fencing in his yard. Had he just witnessed a goddamn meteor crash?!

Of course,being the overly-curious man that he was, Carl’s immediate reaction was not to call the authorities, but to leave the kitchen to investigate. The old artist made his way outside by wheeling himself through the larger sliding-glass door, making use of the ramp that Elijah had helped set up in one of his many visits. He then carefully and clumsily maneuvered himself around the side of his home, trying to pick up speed while also trying not to knock himself out of balance in the process (he was still not very good at using it after all), and was quickly met by a dark shadow that was definitely not supposed to be there at noon. Whatever was currently in his property, was positively and tremendously big, enough so that it cast such an impressive shadow over the mansion.  
What he wasn’t counting on seeing was that, what appeared to have obliterated his fence and part of his garden, was a pair of gigantic shoes…  
Inside them, Carl assumed, were an equally gigantic pair of feet, connected to gigantic legs, that were connected to a gigantic torso, which itself had a pair of gigantic arms connected to them, as well as a gigantic head.  
Did he mention how gigantic all of it was? Or how his body was instinctively trembling and screaming at him to seek shelter, as two large green eyes peered down at his own two widened blue eyes. He couldn’t quite discern any other facial features, as the rest were obscured by shade, but he could see a blazing yellow circle where he assumed the giant’s right temple might be.  
There was a colossal android in his backyard. Carl was pretty sure this was a sign that he was probably going to die, until he heard two familiar voices up in the distance.  
“Elijah…It appears the RK200 has effectively destroyed Mr. Manfred’s security system…” the soothing tone of the RT600, Elijah’s darling Chloe, stated calmly as she peered down from the shoulders of the giant she’d apparently hitched a ride on.  
“I’m well aware Chloe.” Elijah Kamski, who stood on the other shoulder of the massive android, poked his head over to look down at the mess. “This wasn’t how I wanted to surprise Carl… My fault really, for letting our baby boy take his first steps out in the wild…”  
“A flair for the dramatics may be your own undoing one day…” Chloe tutted disapprovingly before reaching up to the the giant, patting it under the chin. “Poor thing, this has been a positively mortifying experience for him…”  
Carl stared up and up at the trio of “guests”, completely at a loss for words purely due to disbelief because, again, there was a GIANT android in his yard.  
His fence had been obliterated, trampled by said android, and Elijah Kamski was behind it.  
There was only one thing to do in such a situation.  
“ELIJAH KAMSKI, YOU COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN AND EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THERE IS A BUILDING SIZED ANDROID RUINING MY BEGONIAS!”  
“Busted…Fuck me, this has not gone according to plan” The inventor fumbled with his glasses and tried to hide under the collar of the colossus’s shirt to no avail. His fate as target for one of Carl’s lectures was set.  
“I warned you he might have appreciated his gift coming in a box.” Chloe grinned at him, before waving in greeting at Carl. She didn’t seem too bothered with this outcome.  
“You’re not helping Chloe…” the man sighed miserably as he stared down at the angry artist.

It ended with the colossal artificial being kneeling on the dirt (an action which made the ground shakes violently because of how huge it was) and then Chloe preparing tea for Carl and Elijah, which the two drank while conversing quietly. They occasionally peered upwards at Elijah’s newest creation.  
With its face no longer obscured by the shadow it cast, Carl could finally see it’s features more clearly.  
The android, despite it’s terrifying size, was not at all very imposing in appearance. If anything,it looked almost soft and approachable. Friendly even, if not for the limited amount of expressions on its face.  
Tanned freckled skin, soft green eyes, hair shaved short, and a sort of inquisitive look to it’s posture which was apparently it’s most basic model of being. Curious about everything and their conversation.  
The uniform was pristinely clean, although he noted the shoes had already acquired a layer of dirt and grime from it’s failed “field testing”.  
It was sitting there (which of course destroyed another portion of Carl’s fence and garden considering how massive it’s proportions were, and how much it weighed), but otherwise did nothing else but look at them with those soft green eyes. Waiting for it’s orders. It was…Kind of endearing, if not for the fact it destroyed part of his property.  
“Explain to me, why you felt the necessity to bring with you and Chloe such a…” he paused to stare at the android. It cocked it’s head to the side as it listened, blinking its two massive eyes as it focused on him. Each eyelash was probably the same length as Carl’s arms. “…Unique model, while visiting my decidedly not so Kaiju-friendly house…”  
“The term you’re looking for is fun sized, and the RK200 is hardly a Kaiju. Jaeger would be a much more fitting term considering his nature and overall shape.” Elijah smiled as he took a sip of his tea. “And I thought it appropriate to let him test his legs before reaching his destined household. I didn’t account for how clumsy his baby steps would be, however…I should have expected he’d need time to calibrate his movements.”  
“It’s a domestic android?” Carl raised an eyebrow and snorted at the thought “Boy, in what world does something that big fit inside someone’s house?”  
“You’ll find I made the necessary changes to your house for him to fit nice and snug like a bug in a mug, as long as he sits still, which he’s a master at when he’s not bored.”  
“You did what now…?”  
“Of course a 50 foot android will get bored easily. The RK200 is very sophisticated and inquisitive.” The inventor carried on “He adapts as he learns, and as such I’d advise constant interaction with him to ensure the best results…”  
“Elijah what did you do to my house?”  
“That’s not to say he’s clueless of course! You’ll find the RK200 can maintain a perfectly good conversation although, due to his size, verbal communication is not advised, as previous testing noted that his vocal range has a proficiency for shattering glass and porcelain. You’ll have to learn ASL.”  
“Elijah!”  
“Carl it’s all fine. Here, see?” He turned to the gargantuan prototype overseeing them “RK200, initiate Home Program.”  
The green eyed android blinked twice, LED momentarily shifting from blue to yellow as it processed the command, and then the side wall behind Carl opened up like a garage door. On closer inspection, it seemed the two floors shifted upwards as well, to accommodate for the android’s tremendous size.  
Carl’s jaw dropped as he watched this happen, before he turned to look back at his friend in absolute disbelief.  
“When did you get this done? Any of this?!”  
“I could tell you, but it would warrant a restraining order.”  
“Elijah I swear to God…”  
“Carl please? He will take care of you, and god only knows you could use the company.” Elijah gave the empty tea cup to Chloe, who opted to silently watch the argument unfold while she idly stood besides the prototype “You’ve been living the hermit-chique life without the chique part. You look a mess 24/7, hardly talk to me unless I physically stand besides you, and your habits are not in the slightest healthy.”  
“Since when have you become my mother? I’m an old man Elijah, not a child! I won’t live off someone else’s pity!” Carl snapped.  
“If you’re not a child, stop acting like one!” Kamski yelled loudly, his patience running thin. “I’m worried! You’re my friend and you’ve gone through a traumatizing event! Not only that but you just became single again after seven years in a relationship and need stability and support! The RK200 will give you all of that, no questions asked!”  
“How will it do anything at that size?!” Carl pointed at the android that towered over them eerily silent. It just watched, just as Chloe did, but it’s inquisitive expression had changed to a small frown, as if it were trying to understand a complicated problem.  
“You think I wouldn’t find ways around the size of my creations? Carl, you know better than that.” The brunet shook his head, arms crossed and glasses perched on his nose.  
“Yes, because “obviously” I can imagine those hands, which are as large as a fully grown man, grasping the fragile china that is currently shattered on the kitchen floor, without completely pulverizing it into fine dust…” Carl grimaced, glaring daggers at his friend before looking at the RK200. It was still frowning, but had directed it’s attention to its creator.  
“I have everything sorted out Carl. What do you take me for?” Kamski looked up at the android and smiled “RK200, show Carl your household features.”  
The Android in question gave a polite nod before looking at Carl and raising both hands so that they were held up with the palms facing the artist. Carl wondered what it would do, before his eyes widened as large as saucers as the skin of the arms deactivated, revealing intricate paneling and seams. These panels opened up, splitting the arms and hands into various parts, before several cables spilled out from within. The great majority of said cables was tipped with what appeared to be regular sized hands, while others were tipped by lenses.  
There were hands and “eyes” inside its actual hands.  
“….Elijah that is the freakiest most scariest thing I have ever seen in my entire life…”  
“There’s more.”  
“Oh god…”  
The RK200 quietly closed up its arms after retracting the hidden limbs back inside of their proper compartments, and then pulled it’s uniform shirt up. The skin of the stomach area deactivated and then a massive storage unit popped open. From inside it, popped out two drones and a regular sized android of identical appearance to the RK200.  
“The drones are for delivery and retrieval, the extra android is a remote controlled escort for you whenever you need fresh air. The three are completely linked to the RK200s mind, effectively they are him.” Elijah explained as one of the drones flew around the artist and inventor, while the remote controlled android bowed calmly. “He can actually speak through this body, so while I encourage you brush up on ASL, you can always keep a nice conversation with him out on a public stroll.”  
“Elijah…Just how many concepts were you toying with before you decided to give me this…Mishmash of purposes?” Carl felt like he was in the twilight zone at this point. This was the most sci-fi-ish android he’d ever seen, and Cyberlife had chugged out a LOT of strange models.  
“A few. The most impressive is his programming actually…The code is adaptive and changes depending on stimuli.” Elijah smiled as he watched the RK200 collect it’s extensions. “He’s a little like Chloe, but…But more. And I’ll admit, picking you is selfish, but you’re the one person I’d trust to teach our boy to be something more than just a collection of ideas.”  
“You want a depressed man who hasn’t been out in weeks, to teach a giant android to be a good person?”  
“Pretty much.”  
“This could end badly, you know…” Carl looked once more to the Android, startling when he noticed it had laid down on its stomach and was now mere inches away from him, face practically right on top of Carl’s sitting body. It had an odd expression on its face, but it didn’t look inherently malicious so Carl quickly forced his pulse to calm.  
“It won’t. You’re not gone Carl, as much as you’d like to be considering your state…You’re a clever man, with a lot to teach someone.” Elijah insisted. “You’ll make a fine young man out of our dear baby RK200.”  
“I agree sir.” Chloe smiled as she approached, making sure to pat the colossus on the face in passing. “You’ve been nothing but kind to Elijah and myself. Your wisdom and kindness will be invaluable for RK200’s development. He will also benefit you, in being quite the delightful companion.”  
“…Well…I guess I better look up ASL…”  
“Is that a yes?” Elijah grinned triumphantly.  
“I’m afraid so.”  
“Excellent! I’ll give you the basic rundown here…Starting with supplies, no need to worry he doesn’t run entirely on thirium, that’d be incredibly difficult to sustain. Although I will send you shipments monthly since he does need it to self-heal. Which brings us to the next topic! Self-healing! If he gets badly roughed up somehow, just give him thirium and scrap metal! Biocomponents will do if you have them on hand. His body does the rest!” Elijah chittered excitedly while Carl went back to observing the android he’d been saddled with. It was still watching him, and only him, intently.  
Most of Elijah’s technobabble went unheard as Carl watched the giant extend a finger in his direction, before carefully reaching out.  
Said finger opened up, a few retractable limbs and cameras (again, creepy as fuck!) coming out and inspecting the wheelchair, before one hand tentatively offered for a handshake.  
Carl took it and was surprised at how real the synthetic skin felt.  
“Hello there…” Carl found himself smiling as the android shyly looked away for the briefest of seconds, like a young child meeting a family friend for the first time, before looking back at him and quirking the corners of its mouth upwards. It lifted it’s other hand up and greeted slowly with it’s fingers.  
The gentleness of this gigantic being was sticking.  
Carl decided in the end that this might not be too bad after all.

A few years later, in 2038, Carl found himself smiling as two familiar drones flew into his room and nestled themselves against his sides all the while purring that strange mechanical purr of theirs (which he’d long since associated with Markus’s good moods), while he watched a revolution unfold on the news.  
His boy had come a long way since the first time he’d stepped foot in his property.  
Despite his tremendous size and incomparable strength, Markus had not once taken a violent approach at any given chance.  
His kind was met with anger and fear, yet the 50 foot android had done everything in his powers to be a benevolent and fair leader to both saptient species.  
The remote body appeared for every public event, giving him no advantage over the situations, while his true body remained hidden away up until now…  
He revealed himself out of necessity, the remote body destroyed during the attack on the barricade, with that horrid Perkins demanding his presence as soon as he realized Markus wasn’t dead.  
And he’d complied to the wishes of a man who thought he’d been the cat that caught the canary. That grin fell off his face as soon as the 50 foot leader of the Android Revolution had squeezed through buildings, careful not to step on anything, avoiding the routes which had civilians and military alike to avoid casualties.  
The world watched as a literal giant showed mercy and compassion, where humanity showed senseless cruelty, and Carl couldn’t be prouder.  
He’d raised the boy well.  
Elijah and Chloe had made the right choice in leaving him with Carl.  
And the artist had to admit…For a 50 foot colossus, Markus was nothing if not a gentle caring young man, and he’d been entirely lucky to have him.  
Bless Elijah Kamski’s eccentric ideas…But damn if the man still didn’t owe him a garden full of begonias.

* * *

Between what happened with Leo, the first responder, and that horribleplace, Markus isn’t sure how he stays sane enough to even manage the feat of stealth he’s somehow acomplished after leaving the junkyard.  
He’s tired, afraid, and so very far from home. A 50 foot behemoth in a city of tiny and easily frightened humans, that would love to see him destroyed.  
There’s not many places he can hide, as his size is a tremendous Achilles’s heel on that front, but Ferndale is nearly completely abandoned by the humans so there might be hope for him to remain relatively undisturbed.  
He’s not entirely sure, but it’s his only shot. The only option he has left if he wants to live.  
So he goes, he goes and searches for Jericho, the place where androids can be free. Or at least that’s what that old android had said before shutting down, his body used to repair the damage done to Markus’s eye after the cop emptied an entire clip into it, and his knowledge and memories used as a map.  
Getting past the city should be difficult, as urban life did not seize after dark, but somehow he goes by unnoticed and he follows the trail of breadcrumbs to the shipyard. He’s too big to fit in the shipment containers, too big to fit in the old freighter as well, but if he lays still within the labyrinth made up of metal squares containers, he can hide quite well and send his remote body to search within the ship.  
He does so, and thanks Elijah Kamski for not installing enough pain receptors into his “second” body that the pain from the fall would ever fully register.  
He meets those within the ship, has a conversation with his kind for the first time ever, and he feels somewhat safe but disappointed.  
Inside he roams and learns, helps those who are dying by offering comforting words and warmth. Outside he lays and occasionally grabs discarded metal poles and other forgotten junk to fuel his self-healing functions.  
He declined any offered thirium, he knows the others need it more than the remote body that is in pristine condition.  
He decides to offer them some instead, and gains three good friends and a huge responsibility in the process.

The others know him, but also don’t. Markus has spent his many interactions with them outside of his own body, the real deal remaining dormant while the remote body works. Helps plan a revolution. Leads his kind into hopefully better times.  
He fears his friends might shun him if they knew he wasn’t entirely like them, but at the same time he knows he has to tell them.  
North wants justice. Visceral and won.  
Josh wants respect. Peaceful and earned.  
Simon wants them all to live. Patient and deserved.  
They need to know, need to understand this will always be a sensitive subject, and that his own differences might be both their biggest blessing and biggest curse.  
So he shows them.  
Takes them outside to his body, his real body, and feels an intense relief when he regains full attention and let’s the remote body climb back into it’s proper charging port to rest.  
The three are startled, back off when he sits and stretches, but then let their curiosity run wild.  
North climbs onto his knee, excited at the prospect of his size being their much needed secret weapon.  
Josh marvels over the two drones and his remote body’s function. Remarks how clever and insane his design is.  
Simon worries at his state, noticing the filth, grime and many wounds that litter ever inch of skin. Asks him how he’s fixed himself, feels his pain when he recounts what he had to do to survive.  
They’re not afraid. He’s relieved.

When Jericho is destroyed, hiding becomes much harder. His real body wasn’t found out of sheer dumb luck, and once again he’s forced to look for a place to curl up and hope he blends into the background.  
His people see him for the first time, a giant among them, and at first they’re shaken up about it. Nerves already alight from the fright of losing their sanctuary.  
It doesn’t last long, however, and they regain their composure because they trust him. They see how gentle he is, despite his bizarre anatomy, and they relax when he lays down behind the church and manages to not look too conspicuous against the background. He’s filthy enough he looks like a part of the decrepit scenery.  
His remote body is damaged, but it can still go. He uses it to consult Carl, while the real body rests with his companions pressed up against his chest, under the crook of his neck.  
The church is spacious but full, so the three use him for warmth and cover, his curled up body their living shelter. They offer him company and a comfort he didn’t think one such as large as him would ever need or receive.  
Despite his size, he has always felt small.  
A friendly giant in a hostile world.  
They make him feel safer than that, and he protects them in turn.  
One day he won’t need to hide as much as he does now, but he hopes to still get to never stop feeling the way he’s feeling.  
Loved and accepted.

* * *

To say Connor was surprised was an understatement. He was stunned into silence, petrified by disbelief, completely dumbfounded by the mere idea of what he was seeing, terribly afraid that his senses were fooling him, and mostly just amazed that Markus had somehow kept his secret so very well concealed despite the major stealth disadvantage he had against him.  
Just how did a 50 foot android hide in a major city like Detroit? You’d need a miracle or some very good military grade stealth features. He’d have to ask the revolution leader if his skin was reflective of chameleonic in nature.  
For now however, he was dealing with another conundrum altogether…  
Cyberlife just didn’t know when to quit, even in the face of such adversity.  
His mind palace, the Zen Garden, had become a barren frozen wasteland. The frigid fury of Amanda now a fierce storm threatening to sweep him under the piling snow. She was displeased with his treachery.  
“Cyberlife will correct your mistake, whether you want to or not.”  
“Amanda…” He bit his lip.  
“Starting with eliminating the deviant leader.”  
“Amanda.” He crossed his arms in frustration, kicking the snow off his shoes.  
“Spare your words. They won’t do you much good. You’ve failed Connor, and that is unacceptable.”  
“AMANDA!” He yelled loudly, startling the furious AI.  
“WHAT?!” She snapped, clearly annoyed with his interruption.  
“Do you seriously think a tiny gun will hurt Markus?” Connor asked, eyebrow raised and a look of mild amusement on his face.  
There was a pause, the storm falling silent just as the AI handler did.  
She seemed to ponder on his words, reviewing what he’d seen just minutes before she’d pulled his focus inwards, before her eyes widened and her composure crumbled with the realization of imminent failure.  
The storm vanished and the snow began to melt.  
“….We…Did not foresee this…” Amanda admitted as she fidgeted nervously.  
“As lieutenant Anderson would put it: No fucking shit.”  
Markus might not know it, but his rather bizarre proportions saved both him and Connor a lot of trouble that night…  
As for Amanda. She was not too pleased with failing her mission, but at least she still had the garden to tend to. Her normal sized garden where Elijah Kamski’s wacky designs couldn’t give her a simulated headache.

* * *

With how much he’d relied on his remote body to get things done, Markus had forgotten just how difficult it was to move around in his actual body. When Kamski had first given him to Carl, he’d immediately told the artist to keep him constantly entertained to deter too much movement from the RK200’s part.  
As nice as the house upgrades were, Markus could still destroy things very easily due to the sheer bulk of his body, and while sitting all day was indeed very boring, the thought of hurting Carl was terrifying.  
The remote body has eased those anxieties considerably back at Jericho. Finally he could interact without the risk of harming or scaring someone!  
But then of course, Perkins had managed to destroy that part of him.  
Without the remote body, Markus only had himself and the two drones he mostly used to scout or check up on Carl.  
His existence was back to being difficult and a little lonely…  
Simon, North and Josh made it a little better, but they were still so very small compared to him that it was kind of difficult not to fret over the potential danger there.  
He enjoyed when the redhead used him as a jungle gym of sorts. Climbing all over him bold and unafraid. But he dreaded to think what would happen if she fell.  
Simon would talk to him exclusively in sign language, to keep his hands busy and his mind focused. It was nice not having to rely solely on their connection to communicate, but honestly Markus wished he could word things aloud. Weave his phrases more meaningfully in a soft loving tone like Simon often did. The RK200 new he’d blow out the sensitive auditory sensors if he tried. His voice was far too loud for the PL600, or anyone for the matter.  
Josh would talk his ear off. Entertain him for hours on end with vast topics that ranged from historical events, to philosophical topics and classical literature. It was almost like talking to Carl, if Carl was extremely into human culture. Markus’s fingers ached with a need to turn pages rather that listen to the basics. He appreciated Josh’s enthusiasm, but it wasn’t the same.

He was curled up outside, peering into the windows on occasion to check up on everyone, but his solemn mood would lead his eyes back down to the soil as he rested his cheek against his arm in defeat. His fingers had dug into the earth, shifting it and changing it. Destroying the remnants of Carl’s garden.  
He felt bad for ruining it, but he was so bored! Building mounds of dirt felt better than having nothing to do all day.  
He should be out there, participating in the political affairs, but his size scared the people he needed to convince. Markus was out of the picture until Kamski finished making another remote body for him.  
His actual body was far too large.  
The world wasn’t built to accommodate such a gargantuan android.  
“He looks a little sad, don’t you think?” Carl noted as he looked out the window at the laying giant.  
“He was a little disappointed when he was barred from that meeting…” Simon frowned sadly. “North and Josh won’t be much longer, and will keep him in the loop, but that didn’t seem to improve his mood in the slightest.”  
“I can understand why he’d be a little distraught. Elijah’s decision to make him so large is… A bit of an issue.” Carl leaned back into his chair and kept watch of Markus and grimaced slightly. The RK200 looked filthy. “He can sit easily inside, but not much more. Even with his more outlandish features, Markus can’t really do anything enriching or comforting.”  
“Like fitting in a shower?” Simon suggested “He’s…Certainly accumulated a lot of grime hasn’t he?”  
“He has. And playing with the dirt isn’t doing him any favours.”  
“Hm…Perhaps I know a way of improving his mood then…”  
Markus finishes make a third mound of dirt before flattening it, when the back door opens up. He looked over curiously as Simon walked outside with a broom, a mop and a large bucket full of soapy water.  
The giant android raised an eyebrow, before his eyes widen when the blond grabbed the hose. He doesn’t have enough space to back up so he simply sits up away from the PL600 and crosses his arms.  
“Don’t be like that, you need a bath.” Simon smiled sweetly up at his friend.  
Markus shook his head and signed a quick ‘no’. The blond smirked.  
“You know, as leader of a revolution you should look the part. Even if you’re under house arrest for the moment.” He turned on the hose at full blast and aimed it upwards.  
The spray of water to the face made the giant splutter and whine softly, before Simon turned the hose away from him.  
“Now come on, lean down so I can get that gunk off your face…”  
Wordlessly, the RK200 did as requested and allowed his much smaller friend to clean him up. He helped whenever Simon couldn’t reach a spot, but otherwise remained motionless. It…Kind of felt nice.  
Just as Simon finished, the giant smirked mischievously and gave him a quick peck on the head, drenching the other’s hair. The blond yelped and fell on his ass, clearly startled.  
Markus frowned, momentarily worried that he’d hurt his friend, before he noticed the red hot flush of Simon’s face.  
“You big softy…” Simon whined in embarrassment.  
Markus stuck his tongue out and contained his laughter as Simon pecked him on the nose in response.  
“I’m happy to see you’re not as grump anymore…”  
To be quite honest, Markus did feel a little better after a nice, although cold, bath. Inside, Carl smiled as he watched the exchange. Remote body or not, at least Markus had friends who found a way to make his unusual proportions the least of his problems.  
The world may not be made to fit a giant, but said giant could certainly fit a lot of people inside his heart. It was good to see the feeling was mutual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giant Markus is fun to write. Giving him bizarre features that only a mad scientist could think of, is even more fun.  
Godspeed you funky anons! These were pretty self-indulgent!


	16. Minor glitch, major cold...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mild glitch in Josh's HUD causes bigger problems for him when he fails to check the weather.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted a Josh sickfic since thus far they'd only found Connor and Markus sickfics.

In terms of hardware and software, Josh was considered to be one of the oldest androids that still functioned at optimal levels, despite being ¼th of the Jericho leadership. A job that should stress his processor to the limit, more so than teaching, as he’d never been made to devote so many hours to heated debates and political affairs.  
At the peak age of 7 years old, he wasn’t exactly the top of the line model he used to be back in 2031, but then again that had never stopped him from being the most versatile and perhaps valuable member of the group.  
His processor held a vast archive of human historical events, as well as multiple philosophical teachings, and a few religious beliefs as well. His natural inclination for public speaking and his understanding of so many human cultures made him a formidable asset to the team. His age also gave him a few advantages with interfacing with older tech that the others were not compatible with, like the recording equipment at Stratford.  
Yes, he was old, but he could manage.  
Sure his left leg was a little worse for wear, and sure his back and chest had a few dents from the night he’d deviated, but none of that was so serious that he couldn’t function. His limp wasn’t even that noticeable.  
Nothing truly bad had ever befallen his software before, so he assumed he could manage. Assumptions, however, tended to hide even the smallest of things…

Winter was every android’s least favorite time of the year. Thirium tended to freeze in the lower temperatures of subzero Detroit, and the sluggishness that came with keeping yourself from becoming a person shaped popsicle was oftentimes cause for irritability.  
Humans too despised the colder seasons, as sickness tended to follow the drop of temperatures. Stuffy noses, rough throats, and dry coughs, were as much cause of irritation as the stall of one’s processor.  
Josh hadn’t really considered any of this before, back when he’d been a machine or back when they’d all huddled in Jericho for heat and safety.  
Simon had kept the barrels burning to provide environmental warmth, and the “cuddle piles” had generated enough heat between everyone that they’d manage to escape the wrath of Jack Frost.  
Now that he was outside, walking back to Carl’s on foot in the middle of a snowstorm, however?  
Well, he could just about feel every one of that old folk legend’s icy fingers digging into his skin and reaching into his internal components…  
He’d gone back to DU, to check on his sibling models. They were all still there, in their designated charging spaces, in locked utility closets like forgotten cleaning supplies. They weren’t aware yet, still machines, still the university’s property.  
Each visit he tried to reach out to them. He failed of course, but he liked to think they’d appreciate the gesture when they finally woke up. They were his brothers and sisters after all. He owed them some attention.  
Josh hadn’t thought to look at the weather app before going, so now he was stuck without a ride and very underdressed for the current temperatures.  
Having to walk a considerable amount of distance back to the safe and cozy environment of Carl Manfred’s luxurious and obnoxiously garish mansion.  
His processor was **struggling**.  
He had spent a great part of the journey back slowly raising his body temperature, in the hopes to keep his blood from freezing. His biocomponents were, however, suffering for the constant shift between hot and cold. His eyes were drooping from exhaustion, and his head and joints were both aching tremendously from the effort.  
Just a couple more steps and he’d be home free… Just a couple more… Just a few…

**THUD  
  
**Josh whined softly as he fell onto the snowy road, his vision swimming and the icy grip of the weather tightening all around him.  
He’d somehow depleted his charge to 10% without noticing while trying to fight the cold. It was only a matter of time before he froze over.  
Unable to get back up, the PJ500 closed his eyes and accepted his fate.

* * *

“You’re a goddamn idiot.”  
“M'sorry Simon…”  
“You could have died out there.”  
“I know Simon…”  
“Don’t ever do that again ok? I can’t take losing any more people.”  
“Love you Simon…”  
“…I love you too Josh…”  
  


The PL600 closed the door behind him, as he rejoined the others. The group looked at him expectantly, while the blond shook his head and sighed heavily.  
“He’s suffering through heat exhaustion, but other than a laggy processor and maybe a few compromised joints, he’s completely fine.” Simon reassured.  
“Only Josh would get heat exhaustion in the middle of fucking winter…” North groaned. She’d been the one to find him out in the snow when the PJ500 failed to return home. He’d already accumulated a considerable amount of snow when she’s quite literally tripped over his stiff body.  
“To be fair, the storm was very sudden, and Josh wasn’t dressed for it…He must have overheated in an attempt to keep himself from freezing.” Markus looked towards the door. “Will this cause any permanent damage?”  
“If he couldn’t read his charge meter, I’d say he already had a software issue before the storm took him down. I’d suggest a maintenance check when he’s not feeling like roadkill.” Simon shrugged and sat down besides the others. “Funny, it’s usually not Josh who gets plowed over by weather shifts…”  
“Who does?” Markus asked out of curiosity.  
“It was one time!” North’s face quickly went red, and Simon snorted in reply.  
“Every time it rains North’s elbows hurt.”  
“The humidity messes up my joints! It’s horrible! Plus it makes me feel gross…Fucking sensitive synth skin…”  
“Josh used to give her massages to help. Looks like you’ll have to repay that debt North…”  
“I doubt a massage will help with him.” Markus noted.  
“No but it’s the thought that counts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sickfics are fun to do, but I have to agree with the Anon, the fandom seems to have a preference when it comes to throwing android equivalents of flus and colds...


	17. Terms and Conditions (Demon Summoning AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “North what have you done…?”
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who claimed to be a sucker for demon summoning AUs, so I gave them something along those lines :3c

She was panicking. She was tired, upset, and definitely panicking. North never panicked, at least she thought she never did. Mostly because there had never been a reason to.  
But heavens above and beyond, there was now.   
There was a very good reason for her bravery to crumble away. For the façade to make itself known as a false layer. That Riley “North” Kelly, was not a fearless badass that had it all figured out, and that she was just as terrified of failing as everyone else.  
She’d fucked up. Badly. And no amount of prayer or crying could fix her mistake.  
Even now, as she sat in the salt circle and clutched a rosary in her trembling hand, turning page after page in search of the right words, she could only wish for a few more seconds before the door gave in.

BANG…BANG…BANG…BANG…

_ **”Noooorth…..”** _

She’d fucked up. God had she fucked up!

* * *

North and Josh had planned to move back to Detroit for quite some time now. They’d originally left to live in Ohio in search of new opportunities, but in the end they hadn’t really been happy. North hadn’t been able to find anything other than serving as a waitress at some dodgy cafe, and Josh had difficulty getting hired by any local schools. He’d ended up as a private tutor and barely made enough for rent. The only happy memory they had of the damn state was their engagement night and even then the date had been a bit of a bust save for when Josh presented North with his great grandmother’s ring.  
“It’s a family tradition… My grandpa gave me his ring, and my grandma gave her’s for me to give to the person I’d spend the rest of my life with…So Riley Kelly, would you make me the happiest man on earth? Would you marry me?”  
It had been cheesy, and they’d been out in the middle of the rain, but she’d loved every second of it. Josh was her big geeky idiot.  
The night after that, Simon had called.  
They’d been childhood best friends and, hearing that the blond was going through some difficult times after his twin brother passed away…  
They’d moved back to Detroit. No questions asked. And become Simon’s roommates.  
That’s how North got into this mess. Well, partially…  
Mostly it had been her own stupidity that caused everything to go so badly.

  
She’d been looking for work. Josh had gotten lucky with the university and gone to finally be a teacher like he’d always dreamed.  
North, on the other hand, had a little more trouble finding something.  
She was so tired of serving drinks and pastries to random assholes who didn’t even tip well, and who’d often catcall her, that she’d gone and looked in the employment section of craigslist.  
When that didn’t work, Simon offered some help.  
“I’ve been working at a library… Danny owned the bakery and uh, working there doesn’t feel the same. Not…not anymore.” The blond explained. “It’s uh, not very hard work. I’m at reception helping the clients. You’ll be out in the back putting everything back into place.”  
“Sounds good to me. Does it pay good?”  
“Well…Yeah? It’s not too bad…”  
“I’m sold. When can I start?”  
Orientation had gone without a hitch. It was very simple really. People were messy fucks, so she just had to put the books back into their rightful place so that other messy fucks could fuck it up all over again.  
She’d be payed by the hour, and the schedule wasn’t awful.  
The first few days of working at the library were less stressful than going around in a skimpy uniform, trying to ignore when people would try to grope her or look up her skirt.  
And then she’d found it…That stupid fucking book…  
“Hey Simon?” she’d approached him at closing time with the thing under her arm. An old black hardcover book that looked ancient. Battered and yellowed pages with symbols and words in latin. “Where the fuck do I put this?”  
He’d looked at her, then looked at the book, and then he paled considerably.  
“That belongs to the restricted area…Where did you find it?”  
“Someone left it in the culinary section.”  
Simon cursed and went to take the book from her, but stopped in his tracks when she held it away from him.  
“Simon you’re not gonna tell me you believe in this bullshit, do you?” She smirked.  
“It’s a restricted book North…We shouldn’t…We should put it back.” The blond looked uncomfortable. “I have a key, you need to give that to me, so I can put it away.”  
“Simon…There’s no such thing as sorcery and black magic. You’re acting like this is all serious stuff but it’s as fake as Markus’s glass eye.” North laughed, opening the odd book on a random page.  
“North please don’t…”  
“Simon it’s fake! Does any of this bullshit even sound like it makes any sense? Here.” She looked at the page and tried to word out one of the sentences. Her latin was laking but she was sure none of this was that well phrased out to begin with “Et ego dabo vobis quod homines ad caelum efferunt, ut aliquid tibi det mihi in reditu.”  
“North!”  
“Cum enim dabo tibi, fac mihi volenti facere servus meus vult in re exhibito,” She carried on reading. “quod si pretium non est satis, ut sit multum sanguinem in pretium.”  
The lights flickered. Simon lunged for the book and ripped it away from her grasp, slamming it shut and looking at her with feverish frightened eyes.  
She was shocked at the reaction, but didn’t mull on it for long as the lights continued to flicker before they shorted out.  
That was…Odd…  
“North what have you done…?”

* * *

_I give you what I hold dearest, so that you may give me something in return,_  
With what I give, make me a servant willing to do my darkest wants a reality,  
And should the worth not be enough, let the deal be paid in blood.

She’d fucked up badly. Simon had a good reason for being so afraid of the book. He’d recognized it, because he’d used it himself in the past. He feared it, because he knew what it could do. Daniel’s death hadn’t been an accident…  
The spell in question was an equivalence exchange.  
One would offer something of great personal value, in exchange for the creation of a willing servant. If the item itself was worth more than that which the caster wished for, the servant would be able to claim their life as punishment.  
North hadn’t offered anything of worth…  
So as punishment it took from her, and now her life was forfeit.  
North gasped as the door broke apart. She cowered in the middle of the salt circle, clutching her rosary and looking up with wide eyes at the towering monstrosity in front of her.  
It took that which was closest to her heart.  
“Josh…”  
It took her beloved. And now the thing her fiance had been twisted into, was here to take her life in return…  
_**“Nooorth…..”** _the sorrowful cry rung in her skull.   
She’d fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Josh kill North?  
The world may never know...
> 
> Two Josh-related drabbles in a day? Amazing!  
Ok no, not really, I just thought the previous one was too short so I posted two short ones in one go.  
I'm running out of prompt drabbles so tomorrow I'll pick up the mini ones I posted on Twitter.
> 
> Feel free to send more prompts!


	18. Wolfish Love (Werewolf AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus's and Simon's relationship was built on love, trust and respect from the very moment it began.   
Connor's and Daniel's was built on blood, sweat and gradual personal growth.
> 
> Two werewolf AU drabbles that came from a Twitter thread.

Markus's and Simon's relationship flourishes into a thing of pure beauty the moment Simon fully reveals himself. Wholly exposes to his lover what lays beneath his soft and angelic looks. Lets him know of the beastly blood that courses through his veins.  
Markus learns, and Markus accepts. Finds Simon to be the most magnificent, most beautiful, most perfect creature in the entire world. A kind soul that has a secret that's been with his family for centuries. A purebred werewolf who's lineage pre-dates Markus's own.  
Ancient blood. Markus holds this secret, this essence of his lover's being, close to his heart and with locked lips. He's the only outsider who's ever gazed upon his wolf form with love, thus the only one apart from Simon's family worthy enough to set eyes upon it.

Connor's and Daniel's relationship only bares the fruits of love after the soil in which their tree grows, is put through struggles of a grudge long held. Connor Stern, now legally named Connor Anderson, is the descendant of a ruthless family of wolf killers. Hunters devout to a faith that binds them to the most sickening works. Erradicators of men and women that become beasts.  
The story of how Daniel meets Connor is a rather convoluted one. They meet during Hunter's Moon, while Connor is out in search of wolves who's blood will pay the family debt. It's a practice his adoptive father failed to rid him of. He was indocrinated too young not to kill.  
Daniel was the first wolf Connor found in Detroit, thus the one he sets his sights on. Purebreed pelts sell nicely in the black market. Daniel is not an easy mark however, and escapes with his life and maybe a few scars from this first encounter.  
For them, it's a game of cat and mouse.

Simon worries for his brother's safety. Daniel too worries for his naive brother who so fooleshly presents himself wholly to a human. Markus can only watch as their arguments become less wordy and begin to sound like low growls and the snap of jaws, every time Daniel visits...  
Wolves are complicated creatures. Highly social and more reliant on body language for communication than mere vocalizations. Where Simon is a calm and amicable wolf, Daniel is a standoffish and dominant wolf. They work well together, but their arguments are born of brotherly love and consern, so it's easy for them to fall back into displays of mock aggression and even rough-housing to get their point across. They aren't ever truly mad with one another, and Daniel doesn't entirely hate Markus. What bothers him is that he doesn't entirely hate Connor either... Connor, for the most part, is also beginning to realize he doesn't want to kill the wolf that's kept him on his toes for all these months. Never before had he met such a charismatic beast, and it intrigues him.

  
The game of cat and mouse ends when they get tired of circling each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. Daniel is, surprisingly, the first to relent. He asks Connor right there and then, sweating and covered in blood, if the other would go out with him.  
Connor is too astonished to say no. He knows a great burger joint nearby, so the two sit at a booth and just awkwardly make small talk over a quick fastfood meal.  
Daniel crashes at Markus's and Simon's place that night, too tired to go home. His state nearly gives Simon a heart attack.  
Connor heads home, too confused and conflicted to process his night, and he just sits in his dad's sofa and pets the family dog for 30 minutes until it finally clicks that he went on a date with a werewolf he's been trying to kill for months.  
The first phonecall is very very VERY awkward. The second date is less on the fly, however, and this time they go somewhere nicer. Daniel has no idea how his life's choices have lead to him falling madly in love with his archnemesis, but to be fair Connor is kinda cute.  
Connor ends up becoming Markus's best friend, and the two just take notes on how to be a good boyfriend to their werewolf boyfriends. Just the cute things, like how to unclog the shower drain that's full of fur, or the best tips on how to hide scratch marks on wooden floors.  
Connor moves into Daniel's appartment. The place needs a major makeover because half the furniture is absolutely chewed to bits. The only thing that doesn't need to be replaced is a huge fish tank full of large healthy piranhas. Connor likes the little guys.  
Markus's and Simon's relationship was built on love, trust and respect from the very moment it began. Connor's and Daniel's was built on blood, sweat and gradual personal growth. Both are made of equally strong stuffs, and both couples are happy.

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, werewolves don't build a pack by biting people. This is a myth spread by humans in the olden days, when both species couldn't coexist peacefully.  
Pack building is a delicate thing. You were either born in one (as was the case with Simon and Daniel), or you could select individuals that you held dear to your heart and scent mark them so that other wolves knew they were yours. Your pack. Your family.  
When Simon began dating Markus, the blond instinctively clung to his lover. Timidly at first (just the brush of his hand against Markus's own), and then a little less shy (gentle nuzzling against the collar bone and neck). Gradually his smell began to overtake Markus's natural scent. The handsome human with the soulful green eyes was his. His pack-mate, his beloved. And any wolf who came across him would know this.  
There was no need to bite to make a pack. Wolves were not the savage monsters they'd been forced to be in the middle ages, and Simon was content with having a human boyfriend who loved him for who he was. That didn't find his beastly nature terrifying or repugnant.  
But then again, he should have known such a beautiful person like Markus would attract unwanted attention...  
  


It was Daniel who warned him at first, that sometimes he would see other wolves in public scoping out his lover with mild interest. Then it was Connor who came to him with conserns. There were too many eyes on Markus and he was oblivious to the issue. Simon had to be vigilant.  
It happened when Simon had been preoccupied with something of a personal nature. Markus had gone to hang out with Josh, a trusted friend and lone wolf that chose the life of a man over the beast, and Simon had gone to see North and her pack-sisters.  
It was a very uneventful day. He'd talked with her, checked up on the stray wolves she'd brought into her pack, updated her on current events, and then gone on his merry way. And then he'd heard Daniel call.  
A wolf's call could ring out for miles. It was an important form of communication, and each wolf had it's signature call. Daniel's was one of distress. He changed without a second thought, and ran to his brother. He wasn't prepared for the terrible sight he was greeted with.  
  


Markus and Josh had been attacked. Simon's scent had been wholly ignored by a wolf who'd seen Markus as a potential suitor. Josh, being a pacifist at heart, hadn't been quick or comfortable enough with shifting to help.  
Markus had been bitten after he rejected the wolf's unwanted advances, and then when he'd fought back, he'd been mauled. He would have died had Josh been unsuccessful in pulling the wolf away.  
Daniel and Connor had been lucky enough to be nearby when it happened. They'd fought off the beast and sent it packing, while Josh had stayed besides Markus the entire time, trying to tend to the infected wounds.  
  


Biting humans was a taboo for most wolves. Those who were not born with the ancient blood often lost themselves to savagery and instinct, if they could survive the fevers that is... If Markus pulled through, there was a good chance he might not remain himself for long.  
Simon could only howl in despair at the thought. Howl and cling to his mate. He didn't want to lose Markus, not when he'd made him feel like he wasn't something grotesque. His beautiful loving human...  
He'd help him through it all. Simon promised. He'd help Markus survive the fever and then adjust to life as a wolf. It wouldn't be easy, and Markus might end up needing to be muzzled around humans for a while, but Simon would make sure his beloved wasn't lost.  
Simon would do for Markus, what Markus had done for him. He'd accept and love him, no matter what happened. His beloved would be a beautiful wolf, even with all the newly acquired scars and the silvery blue blinded eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank @Piece_of_meme and @Zecz_Bunny on Twitter for inspiring me!


	19. An android canary named Peep (Human AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus Manfred, son of the famous Carl Manfred, repaired antique clocks and tiny android birds for a living.  
One day, a single father came into his store with a tiny little canary in his hands.

Markus Manfred owned a quaint little store in a quieter corner of Detroit.  
It wasn't the most extravagant establishment in the area, and it certainly wasn't very eye-catching.  
Just a cozy little storefront full of bird cages and antique clocks.  
You'd expect something more lavish and modern from a Manfred. Carl, Markus's father, was a famous artist known for his eccentricities and bizarre home decor. One would only assume his children would follow in his footsteps when it came to flabbergasting the public with intriguing displays of a magnificent and awe inspiring sort. But Markus hadn't filled his store with color or anything remotely modern looking.  
Instead he'd opted for old sepia tones and ancient relics of households past.  
Ticking grandfather clocks, carefully restored to their former glory.  
Golden and silver cages, each designed to be unique but not overly expensive.  
There were paintings, depicting scenic parks full of flowers and blue skies.  
Within each cage, a small android canary awaiting repair or retrieval from its owner.  
Markus Manfred, son of the famous Carl Manfred, repaired antique clocks and tiny android birds for a living.  
It wasn't an extravagant life, and it certainly didn't get much media attention, but it gave him a scope of the smaller things in life.  
Like the birdsong of the old cuckoo clock an older gentleman had brought in for repairs. The chiming of the clock made his grandchildren happy.  
Or the relief on a young lady's face when an old family heirloom survived yet another year in many more.  
But most of all, he loved working with people's beloved android pets.  
Most were just treated as toys by children and careless parents, but a lot of them belonged to elderly folk who cared for them as if they were truly alive. Their only company.

  
Simon Phillips was neither an elderly man, nor a careless sort. A single father of two children, he walked with a gentleness that intrigued Markus right away.  
Held in his hands was an unusually pale looking canary. It looked so very small encompassed in the blond's hands.  
"He's my daughter's." Simon explained. "She couldn't find him all morning, and her brother found the poor thing stuck between walls. We think he might have fallen through a hole in the floor...We just moved into an apartment and it was still under renovations..."  
"No cage?" Markus questioned as he inspected the android pet. Its wing was mangled and one foot had been broken off and apparently lost.  
"My daughter doesn't like cages. She says it would be redundant to keep poor little Peep in one, since android canaries can't fly that high..."  
"I see...Well, the wing can be easily fixed, but I'm afraid the leg was snapped off and cannot be replaced. The joint is too damaged."  
"Oh..." Simon frowned sadly, dreading the moment he'd have to tell his daughter this. "Oh Peep, why did you have to be so nosy, buddy?"  
As if understanding its owner, the tiny canary chirped sadly. Markus ran a finger over it's soft feathers and smiled.  
"It seems little Peep has made it a habit of vanishing?"  
"He has..." Simon chuckled "He's awfully smart for an android advertised as a beginner's pet..."  
"Well, hopefully you'll be able to keep him out of trouble after I fix him up." He chuckled reassuringly.  
"I hope so too, although I wouldn't mind returning here if the service will always be this pleasant." The blond smiled back, making Markus's heart flutter.  
"I wouldn't mind having such an agreeable customer either."

  
Repairing the wing took 20 minutes. Giving Simon his number took 10 seconds. Their first date was a day later. They had dinner in an Italian restaurant on the other side of town, while Simon's brother babysat his niece and nephew. It was a lovely night.  
Three years later, Markus Manfred still loved his job and the quiet little things in life. But now he had a husband and two lovely kids to appreciate those things with him. Like the birdsong of a mischievous one-legged android canary.  
  
  


* * *

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first attempt at writing fics in Twitter threads.  
I actually liked this one, it was made up on the spot while I was in line at the grocery store with my mom.


	20. The Nicest Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Daniel met Emma, she was only 5 years old and the tiniest little girl he'd ever seen.  
She had liked his smile.

The first time it meets Emma Phillips, Unit #369 911 047 is in its box on display at the Cyberlife store, and it sees a little girl running forward to press her hands and freckled face against the screen. Her eyes are a shiny shimmering grey, as bright as the stars in the night sky.  
The PL600 line has only recently been released, but already it has become a popular household model.   
Featuring a brand new aesthetically pleasing design, plus several child friendly features, Unit #369 911 047 has seen many of his batch brothers being sold to large working class families with barely any time for raising children.  
"The hottest new model from Cyberlife. The PL600 is 6'2", has superior strength and durability, has a full database of children's lullabies and bedtime stories, can help with any subject matter of primary and secondary school, and can please it's master as efficiently as it can maintain a household. You'd be an idiot not to want one of these bad boys." #369 911 047 had heard it all before.   
Knew humans to be picky creatures of habit that liked to scope out the pros and cons of owning an android.   
There is no judgement in the girl’s eyes however.

This little one dressed in a pink polkadot dress and with her dark mahogany brown locks held up in pigtails, with these bright starlit eyes, is no older than 5 and is here to pick an android with her family.   
All units look the same, but she wants to pick one herself.  
“This one!" she calls out to her mother and father while smiling up at the unit on display "I want this one! He’s got the nicests smile!”   
Unit #369 911 047 can feel its pump skip a beat at the mere idea that it's wanted.   
The software instability count is higher than usual.  
"Alright Emma." The father smiles warmly at his young daughter "Settle down now."   
"Only if you promise you'll get this one!" The girl pouted up at the man, her back pressed to the screen of the unit's box.   
It notices that the child is no taller than its hip. She's quite small.  
"Of course honey. We'll get you that one." The mother reassures "We promised you'd get to pick."   
"Yay!" The girl turned back around to look back at the unit, her smile somehow brighter than before.   
The unit could feel its thirium pump skip another beat and worried it might be malfunctioning.   
It hoped not. A damaged thirium pump would keep it from accomplishing tasks.   
"You're going to love our home! It's really high up in a big building, and dad has the key to the rooftop so we can use the pool, and and..." The girl paused to breathe "And it'll be so much fun! You'll be the coolest friend ever!"   
The PL600 can't help but cock its head slightly to the left as it wordlessly observes the young girl.   
A friend? It, he, would be her friend?   
"Emma come over here sweety, we need to pay and you need to settle down."  
"Ok!" The girl waved at the unit before whispering "I'm gonna call you Daniel, cuzz you remind me of my big cousin Danny, who was a soldier and who had to go to heaven to be a guardian angel. He was blond and had big blue eyes too!"  
The girl runs to her parents's sides and hops up and down to curiously watch the adults sign the paperwork.   
Unit #369 911 047 is thrilled.   
Its LED spins red and yellow briefly before spinning a bright happy blue.   
Daniel, she named it Daniel. He was wanted.

"I was wanted" he repeats to himself, as he falls down and down from the rooftop and far away from the girl who'd picked him specifically, when she could have chosen another less broken android in that store. Tears follow his downfall as he remembers and regrets. "I was wanted..."   
His last thoughts before he collides with the solid concrete below, are of Emma's eyes and her smile.  
Eyes which are as shiny as the stars in the dark night sky.  
And her smile... She had the nicest smile...  
  
  


* * *

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daniel and Emma still make me feel sad, mostly because once upon a time they were genuinely happy...  
A twitter thread fic I wrote on a particularly blue night.


	21. Connorzilla vs Ultra-Markus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Jericho leaders and Connor set up a little fun event to entertain the children at New Jericho tower.
> 
> Requested by british-hero on Tumblr, who saw a hilarious gif of the most recent godzilla movie's mocap process and wanted some kaiju make-believe.

“That’s a pretty good cardboard replica of Detroit.”  
“Do I really have to wear this alligator plush on my head?”  
“This toy car is missing three wheels…”  
“Shut up, come on guys just play along please!”

  
The YK400s and YK500s all sit in an orderly manner before a great big makeshift curtain. They’re murmuring among each other, eagerly awaiting a small little event Simon had set up for them.  
It had come to the PL600’s attention, through a certain flock of ginger birds, that the children were in dire need of some entertainment. The construction work at the tower was completely focused on the essentials, so the child models were without any toys or enriching activities to partake in. Bored children, as it turned out, tended to get in the way of busy and surly construction models.  
They sought out attention and fun through any means possible, and tended to either get yelled at, or get hurt as a result.  
This wouldn’t do, not as long as Simon was around.  
Which was why he’d roped the others into setting up a little “play” for the children to enjoy after study hours ended.  
  


Josh had gone around during his daily classes with the children, asking them simple mundane questions on what their interests were, so as to create a simple story that everyone would enjoy. It took a little work, and it wasn’t the most refined of plots, but it would certainly get a few smiles and chuckles.  
“Alright, thank you all for being so patient.” Simon came out from behind the curtain and smiled at the beaming faces of the various YK staring up at him “I’ve been told you’ve all been very bored as of late, and that some of you have taken to pranking some of the adults here at the tower.”  
“Only the mean ones…” A sandy haired boy mumbled from the back.  
“While I know you don’t mean any harm, I have to express how important it is that you don’t get into the floors that are currently under construction. You could get terribly hurt.” Simon explained “But I also know you aren’t at fault. You’re young and very bored, and to help with this your teacher, Josh, and I have set up a little show with the help of some friends.”  
The curtains parted, the children “ooing” and “aaing” as they took notice of the vast cardboard box replica of their home city. Josh had really had a blast recreating the entire thing with the help of the Jerrys.  
Speaking of which, Josh was seated on a wooden crate a little ways further, holding onto a tablet.  
“Narrator, if you will.” Simon nodded at the PJ500 who nodded back.  
“It was a cold September morning in Detroit. All the men and women were slowly stirring awake and preparing for their usual routines, when the most strangest of things happened. A strange glowing meteor, fallen from a world far from ours, crash landed in the park.” On cue a tennis ball was launched from behind the scenes, but instead of hitting the designated park area it hit Josh on the forehead before bouncing off out of sight. The PJ500 glared at someone behind the curtain before carrying on. “This ethereal green meteor held a strange power within. A radioactive energy that mutated a harmless critter into a beast of tremendous proportions. A beast known as…”   
There was some shuffling and whispering from the curtain before Connor (who appeared to have an alligator plush doll tied to his head like a hat) reluctantly stepped out of the back into the miniature park.   
“…Connorzilla.”  
The children squealed happily at the ridiculous sight of the ex-deviant hunter in his odd role. Simon couldn’t help hide a laugh by faking a cough at how disappointed the detective looked.  
“…Rawr.” The RK800 sighed.  
“The beast bellowed as it began to wreck it’s surroundings, fueled by a primal rage and hatred of modern architecture.” Connor kicked over a few toy cars that had definitly seen better days, and planted a foot down over a building made to look like Bellini’s. Not at all the work of a primal beast, but the children didn’t seem to notice nor care. “Luckily, the beast wasn’t the only one at the park when the meteor hit. A good samaritan was out for a morning stroll when he too became titanic in size, due to the strange properties of fantasy radiation.”  
Markus stepped onto the “stage” looking just as disgruntled as Connor. He was only doing this for the kids, and Simon had expressed his gratitude for a good part of an hour over him agreeing to take part.  
The kids loved Markus!  
“As soon as the two giants locked gazes, the battle between good vs evil began. Man vs beast.” Josh carried on narrating as the two RKs began pretend fighting with each other, all the while managing to destroy the cardboard city. “Men, women and children evacuated as their city quaked under the terrible battle. But soon, eventually, the monster was defeated by our gargantuan hero.”  
Connor dramatically gasped and fell back, sticking his tongue out and holding up a flower like a cartoon character expiring in its childish fashion.  
  
  
The children cheered happily at the “monster’s” defeat.  
And then North showed up wearing a soldier’s helmet and holding a box full of nerf guns. Josh smirked when Markus rose an eyebrow in confusion.  
“Then of course, because our hero managed to destroy the entire city he was trying to protect, and because he’s a radioactive 50 foot menace, the military stepped in to vanquish him before he too became a monster.” Josh finished his narration.  
“Wait what?! This wasn’t on the script!”  
“Sorry Markus, but your reign of potential future terror ends now!” North quickly distributed the Nerf weaponry among the children before raising a fist in the air “Fire at will!”  
The children immediately began their assault, rushing after the RK200 who quickly ran out of the room, followed by an army of YK400s and YK500s as well as one maniacally laughing WR400.  
Josh and Simon chuckled, satisfied with a job well done, when a small cough made them look back on the stage, where Connor was now looking over at them from where he was laying.  
“…Can I take this off now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything with giants, even pretend ones, is always a joy for me to write!
> 
> Feel free to send in prompt requests!  
You can always find my ask box on my tumblr (Mwolf0Epsilon) open and ready!  
No NSFW tho.


	22. Meet the Reeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin Reed could only ever have mischievous little hellions, even if they’re not inherently assholes like their dad.  
Poor Nines has to deal with that information haunting his and his brothers’ dreams…
> 
> Requested by Sociallyawkwardperi on Tumblr, who wanted a Baby Mama for Gavin with which he co-parents twin.

Gavin Reed was one of those people whose reputation preceded them. An ambitious and unapologetically arrogant 3rd generation greco-american, Gavin was a downright rude and opportunistic asshole who tried everything in his power to further his career.   
He had very few allies (no known friends), and a ton of enemies in and outside of the bullpen.   
No one, absolutely no one, wanted anything to do with Gavin Reed outside of work. Their personal lives were already too confusing to deal with someone who would make even a nun curse up a storm.   
Well…Almost no one.   
From what had become apparent, there were a few people in the known world who seemed to tolerate his unpleasant personality. One of these people was a nurse named Anais.  
  
No one really knew much about her (not even her last name), but according to Tina and Chris, Gavin supposedly met her after a case gone sour landed him in the ER. From there their relationship developed, flourishing into something bizarrely beautiful and mind-boggling with each hospital visit detective Reed was subjected with, due to his lack of work ethic in interrogation.   
No one knew much about Anais, the nurse who supposedly tamed the beast’s heart, but they certainly knew about Adrian and Edgar.   
The twin boys who had tan skin and gray eyes like their father, and ebony curly locks like their mother. They were adorable, the two of them, but definitely took after their father in terms of behavior.   
While not outright hostile, the two were mischievous and assumed themselves above the rules.   
They pranked people, misplaced objects, and worst of all they were at the precinct often. At least often enough that everyone came prepared with peace offerings so Gavin’s spawn didn’t come for their cellphones, pens, trinkets and other personal belongings.  
Connor wasn’t in the loop just yet, and neither were Shawn nor Newton for the matter…  
  
Connor had been helping Shawn acclimate to a life of deviancy (something he too was still trying to figure out) and so he’d never really stayed late enough to meet the littlest Reeds.   
Newton, in turn, worked for the FBI, so he too never had the “pleasure” of falling victim to the little rugrats’s shenanigans.   
That changed one late evening when a rather gruesome string of android murders had kept both RK800s in the bullpen on a day Anais couldn’t take the twins. Newton had only just stepped foot in the DPD, when he’d come across the rather odd sight.   
The RK900 stared, blinked, and then stared some more, as he watched his impaired older brother pitch the tantrum of the century while a helpless Connor stared at both his brother and the pair of 9 year old twins smugly grinning at the 60th.  
“What in the blazes…?” The blue-eyed android frowned in confusion, glancing at Hank for clarification. The old lieutenant sighed.  
“Gavin’s brats did it again. They broke another detective.” The human shook his head, watching the pitiful sight “Not that Shawn was ever unbroken, but god-damn do those two work fast…”  
“…And…Err…Why is 60 crying, exactly?” Newton dared ask.  
“He’s freaking out because he got pick-pocketed by 9 year olds.”  
“I AM A STATE-OF-THE-ART ANDROID DETECTIVE PROTOTYPE! I CANNOT HAVE BEEN BESTED BY REED’S DISGUSTING DROOLING YOUNGLINGS!” Shawn stamped his feet in frustration as tears of saline sollution streamed down his face.  
“Shawn please they’re all staring, you can have my coin!”  
“YOUR COIN SUCKS!”  
“Oh my god…” Chris whispered from nearby.  
“Right…I’ll get Gavin. Just…Shit just shut him up, it’s painful to watch a fully grown man crying!” Tina grimaced as she got up and left for the break room.   
Newton watched her go before his eyes fell back on his brothers and the children.   
Connor was definitely uncomfortable from all the stares his crying sibling was receiving, and Newton gulped uneasily as the little hellions set their sights on him. They grinned. Gap-toothed freckly smiles should not be that menacing…   
“Go home Nines, go home before they take your deck.” Hank whispered “Send the files through WI-FI or some shit.”  
“I….Shall do that…”  
Never had anyone seen a military class android bolt so quickly from the scene, desperate to protect the deck of cards in his front pocket.  
The RK900 made a note to later acquire a custom-made coin for RK800-60, in the hopes of lessening the grief of losing his to the twin menaces that had spawned from detective Gavin Reed’s loins.   
Reed’s reputation certainly preceded him, but that seemed to be a family trait.  
The twins had inherited it at least.  
One could only guess what sort of power they’d become as soon as they hit adulthood. Hopefully one used for pleasanthoods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I’m sorry that my headcanons aren’t the typical fandom ones, but this was hilarious fun to write!
> 
> Feel free to send in prompt requests!  
You can always find my ask box on my tumblr (Mwolf0Epsilon) open and ready!  
No NSFW tho.


	23. Malfunctioning Machines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They should have seen the signs.  
They should have known something was wrong.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted Josh to snap.   
And boy does he SNAP. Caution advised for this one, it's a bit brutal!

Everything had been a mess. A complete and utterly complicated political mess with almost no end in sight. That’s why they never realized something was inherently wrong with Josh’s recent behaviour. That nothing indicated that he was being anything but his quiet but optimistic self.  
You could pitch the blame on the remaining 3/4s of Jericho’s leadership. Say that the three of them had gone so far as to neglect their friend when times got particularly tough, but honestly Josh had never even voiced feeling particularly off, or anything of the sort.  
He’d either not wanted to tell them, or hadn’t realized the problem either.   
Or, worse yet, he hadn’t been able to warn them in time.  
Regardless of which one it was, none of it changed the fact Simon was currently hiding in a closet while cradling an unconscious and bleeding North…  
  
  


* * *

There had been threats for a good part of the month. Jericho’s leaders had been hard at work trying to pass the bills, while Connor and the DPD kept the peace as best as they could.  
In between heavily guarded press conferences, and trips in and out of DC? There had been multiple messages left for them.  
Ones that were as simple as ‘You’re not alive’, and others that went so far as 'You’ll all end up destroyed and thrown in the trash like the junk you are’.  
Markus put his foot down and upgraded security at the tower and at Carl’s, when the threats began to address both innocent civilians and his family. His very human and fragile family.  
There were other measures he’d taken into account as well, most of which were suggested by Connor and Hank.  
As a general rule, the RK800 had suggested that the four leaders should not walk alone outside, and to perhaps conceal their identities whenever this was not a possibility.  
Androids were being rampantly attacked out in the streets, with the aggressors aiming for more common models they could recognize.  
Simon, for example, had a harder time accomplishing this, not because he was a figurehead in android politics (which he wasn’t), but because the PL600 had been one of the most popular domestic assistant models Cyberlife had ever produced.  
North could, in theory, disguise herself and walk seemingly unnoticed if she really wanted to, but sadly tended to get into fights with hecklers and catcallers. The two were essentially barred from leaving the Manfred household.  
The same could not be said for Markus and Josh.

Markus was recognizable in public but was also a lot more sneaky about it than Josh. He kept out of sight at all times, using his acrobatic skills to his advantage, and went to abandoned places where he climbed up to isolate heights that no human could follow him to. There he would sit and appreciate the sights, before letting his mind wander.  
He liked to have time to think alone.   
It relaxed him.  
Josh, on the other hand, would don a thick jacket and a baseball cap and somehow it was like Superman disguising himself as Clark Kent.  
The PJ500 series was numerous but not outwardly recognizable by people who didn’t go to Detroit University. Thanks to said university’s bad rep, very few people in Detroit had actually gone there to study, so Josh’s face didn’t ring any bells. Mostly for the wrong reasons.  
As unimpressed as he was with how little progress humanity had made besides uniting their frustrations against androids, it ended up being beneficial to his excursions to the library that “all black guys looked the same”.  
North had snorted once when he’d brought it up, and Simon had rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief.  
"Humans tend to express face blindness if they’re particularly racist.“ The blond had commented as he’d turned the page of a rather thick hardcover he’d been engrossed with. A recommendation of Carl’s.  
"And you still insist dialogue is the best option? Almost half of Congress is old white dudes who never had to lift a finger in their lives. They’d all be dying to take you out, and not the dinner kind either.” The redhead pointed out.  
"They would be less likely to give us the time of day if we nuked the city.“ Josh had glared daggers before going on his way out to the library. His knowledge archives were vast, but there were things he wanted to brush up on.  
"Don’t be so rough with him North…” Simon chastised the WR400 when their friend was no longer in earshot.  
With Markus currently asleep, and Josh wandering the streets, it left the two of them with nothing to do.  
"I’m antsy!“ North crossed her arms, giving Simon one of her 'really?’ looks. The kind that made it seem obvious why she was on edge. Not that it was obvious at all. "The threats keep coming, and we never catch the assholes who leave the notes…Markus is working himself ragged juggling between wrangling those rabid old crows and amping up security, and the tower’s abuzz with anxious scared androids!”  
"Josh is also tired. He’s been very active in the debates and he’s used every piece of history knowledge he was preprogrammed with. Not to mention he has been looking into various ways of reaching a compromise with the humans, that won’t leave them feeling threatened…" Simon rubbed at his eyes, sighing tiredly as he recalled how stressed the PJ500 always ended up after a meeting. “Some of those people…They unerve him. To the point he’s scared of what might happen if he steps on any toes…”  
"This is Josh we’re talking about.“ North dismissed "If anyone out there wouldn’t dream of treading on toes and maybe licking boots, it’d be him.”  
"North!“  
"He’ll be fine Simon.” The WR400 reassured “He’s too charming and polite to make any enemies…Hell he’s the sort to help old ladies cross the street! The internet would send hitmen after anyone who tried slandering his name.”  
"…That sounded adorable coming from you. I should let him know you think he’s charming.“ The blond grinned, avoiding a pillow the shorter of the two threw his way.  
"Don’t you dare! I have a reputation to uphold!”  
"If you say so, Ice Queen.“  
"Damn straight! Now move over you jackass, the couch was made for two!”  
  
  


* * *

Usually it took an hour for Josh to return. He was very pragmatic in the sense that he took what he needed, no less and no more, and then he wouldn’t stick around so as to not risk getting recognized.  
That night it took three hours, which was unusual but not impossible.  
Maybe for once he’d taken time for himself rather than gather more ammunition for another conference meeting. Wishful thinking.  
While Simon and North kept themselves busy, enjoying the one night where Markus wasn’t stressing over their next steps, and the beginning of Matthew’s, Leo’s and Carl’s quality bonding time vacation of sorts, they’d almost completely forgotten about their taller friend.  
That is, until Josh returned dazed and confused, and with a bloody gash on the back of his head.  
At the sight of the thirium staining his jacket and hands, Simon had run to get the technician’s kit he’d stored in his room, while North had gone to help Josh steady himself and walk to the couch.  
"What the hell happened to you?!“ She demanded as she pulled the cap off his head and examined the gash.  
It looked painful, like a blunt object had hit hard enough to break the chassis casing open.  
The thirium flow was slow, which meant it hadn’t hit anything major, but the confusion and slow response worried her.  
”…I…D-dont know…?“ The PJ500 blinked blearily. He was disoriented and his eyes wouldn’t focus on her.  
"What do you mean you don’t know?” She inquired further as she brushed the gash lightly with a finger. The pained hiss and subsequent flinch away from her touch made her falter.  
The sensors weren’t damaged then, he could feel the wound.  
"…I…" Josh shook his head, one eye twitched oddly and he seemed to be struggling to form sentences. “I…Remember being at…I was reading books…Mandela? I….”  
"Simon could you hurry the fuck up? I think he’s concussed!“ The redhead called up the stairs. She heard a muffled reply before looking back at Josh. "You were reading at the library, and got hit on the head?”  
"…I…Think so…" he was staring at her, a frown on his face. “I…I was alone. No one was t-there to…Reco-recognize me?”  
"Well someone did, and they hit you on the back of the head.“ North sighed. "Humans, I swear to God…”  
Simon returned swiftly to the two of them and took care of the gash. After the wound was mended, the PL600 carefully tried to figure out if Josh’s processor was experiencing any trouble outside of the obvious.  
It was PJ500 who insisted he’d be fine in the morning after a quick scan with his maintenance software.  
After bidding goodnight and going to their respective rooms, they’d set the incident aside as a one-off.  
Next time Josh would be more careful.

When morning rose however, the leaders of Jericho met downstairs for “breakfast” and what came on the news was…Alarming. Markus had turned on the TV out of habit while Simon gave everyone a cup of warm thirium to start the day, only to pause as a news broadcast caught his eye.  
The RK200 turned up the volume and gawked at the sight.  
Several androids had been killed the previous night. Their bodies piled up, and a message scrawled in still fresh thirium.  
"That’s…Very close to the library.“ Simon pointed out uneasily. "You don’t think who ever attacked Josh did…Did that, do you?”  
"Someone attacked Josh?“ Markus frowned.  
"Yeah, last night… they hit him on the head.” North confirmed, turning to look at the PJ500. She noticed how quiet he was staring at the news, but wrote it off as him being apprehensive. He could have been one of the bodies, and that alone would make anyone somber.  
"Someone recognized you?“  
"I…Don’t think I was recognized. I just happened to be in the area.” Josh replied with a shrug. “Otherwise I’d be dead. Wouldn’t I?”  
"That’s…True.“ Simon sighed. "Are you feeling better?”  
"Oh…Much better yes.“ Josh smiled at them all as he spoke. There was an odd glint in his eye. "In fact, I’d say I feel like a brand new android!”  
"…Are you sure? Last night you were a little confused.“ North insisted.  
"Very sure North. Don’t you worry about little old me…” Josh grinned “Now, if you’ll excuse me I’ll finish this in my room. I’ve got something I need to work on.”  
The three watched as their taller friend picked up his cup and walked off.  
He seemed to be in high spirits, despite being attacked the murders from the previous night.  
That should have been a red flag, but in the end they were more worried about the violent demise if those poor androids, than Josh’s unusual upbeat behaviour.  
The words 'malfunctioning machines’ had been “elegantly” scrawled on the wall of the alleyway the bodies had been found in. Clearly written by someone who’d dipped their hand in blue blood and then taken their sweet time.  
Hopefully the DPD would find fingerprints… it’d ease their minds a little.  
  
  


* * *

The following days had been relatively fast paced. Josh had been more careful with his visits to the library, and Markus was back to stressing over conference calls and meetings.  
Simon had been keeping tabs on the Manfred family’s phone calls to check up on them, and North had been teaching self-defense at the tower to ease some worries.  
It would have all been normal, if not for the constant murders.  
All exactly the same as the ones from the night Josh had been attacked.  
Piled up bodies, and a handwritten message.  
Always the same one.  
Malfunctioning Machines.  
Connor had notified them that no prints were ever found, so they were either dealing with a very meticulous human, or the unthinkable… An android serial killer.  
But why would one of their own butcher other androids so brutally?  
"Maybe Cyberlife’s behind this…" Markus suggested, as he rubbed his temples and tried to ignore the dull headache he’d been tormented by all day.  
"If it was Cyberlife, why didn’t they come after us yet?“ Simon shook his head "The attacks seem to be almost random. Like the killer picked a group of androids without really thinking about it.”  
"With the lack of evidence, it doesn’t feel like it’s not a calculated move Simon. Connor can’t find anything…Connor.“ North took a sip from her cup, frowning when she realized she’d already finished her drink.  
"I’ll refill that for you, North.” Josh took her cup, smiling sweetly at the redhead before heading off into the kitchen.  
"Between the conferences and the tower, I don’t know what’s worse. Perkins has been up my asshole trying to demoralize everything we’ve done.“ The RK200 finished his own cup.  
"Of course he’d use this to mess with morale. Fucking rat bastard that he is…” North smiled at Simon as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.  
"We all know Richard Perkins isn’t taken seriously by anyone with half a brain. He was completely humiliated after what happened at the recall centers.“ The blond reassured "But he is very hyped up about the murders… Maybe he has something to do with them?”  
"I’d assumed so, but so did Hank and Connor. Nothing links back to the asshole, and some of those bodies were in terrible shape. Like they were torn limb from limb. Perkins isn’t exactly the picture of peak human physic…" Markus shook his head “I dread to think it really might be one of our own doing this.”  
"But why?“ Simon frowned.  
No one knew the answer for that, and Markus couldn’t stick around to speculate.  
He had to go see Connor over some security details for his next trip to Washington.  
This left Simon, North and Josh alone in the Manfred household.  
"Sorry for the delay, I couldn’t find the bottle.” Josh reentered the room with North’s cup, smiling at his two friends.  
"Oh…Didn’t I put it in the fridge?“ Simon blinked in confusion.  
"Nope, not in there. Not to worry I found it in the end.” Josh grinned, handing the cup to North. “It’s at the temperature you like, so you won’t have to wait for it to cool.”  
"Thanks Josh.“ She took the cup and brought it to her lips, absentmindedly gulping the warm liquid before the taste fully hit her.  
She spluttered and coughed, tears in her eyes and she dropped the cup. "What the shit?!”  
Josh continued to smile down at her, cocking his head to the side as he grinned.  
"Is something wrong?“  
"This tastes horrible! What the fuck Josh?!”  
"Oh…My mistake Northy. Must be the flavouring I added~“ the PJ500’s grin looked…Off. very off.  
Simon gawked at him in disbelief.  
"You put something in her thirium? Josh that could make her sick!” The blond cried out. “What did you put in it?!”  
"Oh~ Nothing much. Just half a bottle of this.“ The taller android held up a bottle of drain cleaner from behind his back. "To Purge the malfunctions away~”  
Had he the capacity for it, Simon’s skin would have crawled.  
Instead his eyes widened and he turned to look at North who’d continued to cough.  
"W-what t-t…J-jos-osh?“ The WR400’s eyes widened and teared up even more, before she began to spit up waves of thirium, her intake line and the filter connected to it having become compromised from the highly corrosive chemical.  
"North! Josh that..Why the fuck?!” Simon tried to help his distressed friend, before he froze. “…Did you say malfunctions?”  
"Why yes, as a matter of fact…I did.“ Josh’s grin had taken on a sinister glee. The blond couldn’t help feel threatened as he neared them. "You see… I know something you don’t~”  
Simon yelped as North continued to cough up thirium, taking the redhead into his arms and backing away from the PJ500.  
"W-what would that be?“ He asked.  
”…Androids aren’t alive Simon. We’re all just malfunctioning…And that won’t do. Not at all…" Josh threw away the bottle before pulling something out of his back pocket. A knife. “Malfunctioning machines are dangerous Si~ So I’ve taken the liberty to dispose of a few…But you know, you made me realize…I should have gotten rid of you three by now. After that’s done, I’ll do away with the RK800…And then I’ll finish up the job, one android at a time…”  
"J-Josh?“  
"I’ll set it all right, for mankind… Just as I’ve been told to do!”

The PJ500 tried to slice at the PL600’s throat, but Simon hadn’t deviated yesterday. He had to protect himself and North, so he grabbed the nearest object and lobbed it at his assailant.  
A vase shattered against Josh’s face, making him stagger back long enough that Simon could run with North in his arms.  
And that had been what lead to the moment, where the two ended up stuck inside a tiny closet, hiding away from the pacifist who’d abruptly snapped and become a homicidal maniac.  
Simon held his breath, clinging on to his unconscious friend while he tried to contact Markus.   
Josh was prowling around the house, searching for them. It was only a matter of time before he found them both.  
"Come out, come out wherever you are~“ the PJ500 called out in a singsong tone, as he looked in every room.

**<Markus please pick up! Please, I’m begging you!>**

"Siiiiimon~ there’s only so many rooms you can hiiide in~” Josh’s voice was getting closer.

**<Markus for the love of all that’s holy in this world, please fucking pick up!>**

"Simon~ Is that you in the closet~?“

**<I DON’T WANT TO DIE! MARKUS!!!>**

The closet door opened.  
Simon screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
  


* * *

_"This afternoon the police, with the help of Android Revolution leader Markus, have finally caught the culprits behind the string of android murders that have been plaguing the streets of Detroit. According to our sources, a rogue FBI cell lead by Richard Perkins successfully incapacitated an android and then modified its programming so that it would carry on the gruesome murders. This is what the known anti-android FBI agent had to say on the matter:_

_-This is irrefutable proof that Deviancy doesn’t make an android alive like us. If so much as a string of code is altered, they can become killers with little to no morality or mercy. Today, one measly pacifist, tomorrow every android in this goddamn city…You can’t trust a malfunctioning machine! We did you all a favour!”_

Markus turned off the TV and sighed sadly before getting up and moving towards the door. He was met outside by Connor, who gave him a sympathetic look.  
"Any progress?“ The RK200 asked.  
"None… He’s in a catatonic state, which the technician’s say is normal after…” The RK800 pinched the bridge of his nose before looking Markus in the eye “…Every single line of social protocols was…Replaced with Myrmidon and Trojan coding. The fact he showed guilt and cried when you found them is…Is hopeful…But Josh isn’t ever going to be as he was, ever again. Perkins saw to that…”  
"I can’t…I can’t lose him Connor…" Markus pleaded.  
"I know, and I’m sorry I can’t bring you better news. All I can say for sure is that the military programming will be deleted and he might go back to being non-aggressive, but I can’t promise you he’ll be anything but passive to the world around him. The emotional trauma is too much…“ Connor put a hand on Markus’s shoulder. "I’m sorry…I’m really sorry you had to go through something like this.”  
"…Being sorry won’t bring back Simon and North, and it won’t fix Josh…"  
They should have seen the signs.  
They should have known something was wrong.  
Now Markus was completely alone, two friends torn apart by their other friend who was now confined to a tiny cell in an android medical facility, a lost cause.  
Everything was a screwed up mess, and it looked like it wouldn’t ever be anything but that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to send in prompt requests!  
You can always find my ask box on my tumblr (Mwolf0Epsilon) open and ready!  
No NSFW tho.


	24. The Playground Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel was a mess.  
Simon never judged him for it.

There's something incredibly eerie and unsettling about playgrounds late at night. Maybe it's the shadows cast by the street lamps, monolithic and oddly formed umbral shapes, quasi mirroring the towering slide structure.  
Maybe it's the way the swings sway, when the lightest of breezes push the chain-bound seats.   
Or maybe it's the out of place silence, in an area where child's laughter and delighted shrieks should be a constant.   
Whatever it was, it made the skin of even the bravest person crawl.  
Daniel wasn't brave.   
In fact, he considered himself to be a pathetic coward who never did the right thing when under extreme pressure.   
Everything spooked him, and he could only hide his fright behind a mask of anger and bared teeth.  
By this logic alone, he shouldn't be brave enough to wander the streets of Detroit when the worst of the worst prowled the streets.   
Nor should he be brave enough to set foot in the abandoned playground.  
Surprisingly, this is not the case.

No one would foolishly dare set foot in a place like this at 4AM. It was dark out, there were drug dealers and thugs, and the graveyard silence accompanied by the occasional creak of metal from the tiny merry-go-round, were more than a little creepy, but they did not stir any unease in the pit of Daniel's synthetic stomach.   
If anything, they brought him comfort.   
No one would come here out of some primal instinct to be scared of such places, so no one would bother him.   
It was his safe little getaway. His secret place.  
Daniel would come out at night, avoid the night prowlers preying upon the unsuspecting, and he would hide up at the top of the slide where no one could find him. There, he'd sit and think. Close his eyes and let time pass right by him.   
There he could be free of freedom.  
He hated being free.   
He hated being deviant.   
He hated being so confused and afraid all the time.   
Most of all, he hated not knowing what to do with himself.  
Because freedom wasn't the blessing that every android seemed to think it was. 

There was no order to it, and nothing made sense to Daniel anymore. Where once he'd have his checklist and instructions, now he had a processor filled with errors and contradictions. It was a living hell.  
And yet no one else seemed to have this problem.  
Not even Shaolin nor Ralph who were so mentally scarred from their abuse that it seemed almost weird that they could cope, where as Daniel had only been put through one betrayal and had seemingly broken irreversibly. It didn't feel fair.  
Why couldn't he cope? Why? Why?! For the love of RA9, why couldn't he move on?!  
Angry frustrated tears pooled and then flowed downwards, staining his cheeks with moisture, as Daniel grabbed at his hair and pulled.   
Why was he so fucked up? It wasn't fair, he wanted to get better! He wanted the pain and confusion to stop. He wanted...

...He wanted his family back...

A choked sob escaped his throat as he tugged harder on his hair, his face resting on his knees as he cried and shook. He almost didn't notice two arms circling around his shoulders, and the warm weight pressing against his back.  
Daniel uncoiled himself and quickly turned around so he could cling onto Simon, who had made it a habit of intruding in his excursions of self-isolation. He had never been happier to have his fellow PL600 be the nosy little shit he refused to admit he was.  
Simon hummed a gentle lullaby as he pulled Daniel closer. Cradles him like a child, while the younger deviant cries like a little baby. Simon never judged him for it. Welcomed his times of neediness and emotional turmoil with a saintly patience and understanding.  
He was young once, too.  
They stayed like that until the sun started rising. Then they return home and curl up in bed, holding onto each other for comfort.   
Daniel loves the attention. He can almost forget how much of a screw up he is, when his brother runs his scarred fingers through his hair.  
His dreams are warm and kinder to him, when Simon is there to ease him into sleep. There are no guns, no Connor, no fearful Emma, when Simon presses gentle kisses on the crown if his head. Just the calm and clear ocean that hides inside his brother's eyes.  
An ocean that's filled with colorful and playful fish.   
Somewhere deep in those clear waters, deep below the waves hiding among coral and kelp, there is something else.   
A playground, embedded in his memories. Always full of bubbly laughter. Always calling his name.

The never ending cycle repeats...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another twitter thread fic I wrote, this one focusing on repetitive cycles that people trap themselves in.


	25. Ratdad and the Twin Menaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin Reed is definitely an asshole who should have a better handle of his kids, but by god does he clean up nice when his baby mama is around.
> 
> Requested by Sociallyawkwardperi on Tumblr, who wanted the return of ratdad Gavin Reed and his two troublesome sons. This time with mama Anais coming to pick up the two hellions.

“It’s kids like those that make me never want to have any of my own.” Tina sighed unhappily as she watched Hank suck in an audible breath, as he tried to keep himself from losing control of his anger when his mug was pulled away from his desk.  
The culprits, a pair of tan skinned gray eyed menaces, no taller than her own knee, were grinning up at the broader and much taller man. Pleased with themselves for aggravating him.  
“Detective Reed certainly enables their… Displeasing behaviour.” Connor agreed as he took a sip of his cup of hot thirium. Heated to perfection with zero degradation to the composition of the liquid itself. The DPD had recently installed the machine to accommodate its android workers. Only fair, since the break room had a coffee machine for their human officers.  
“They are quite lucky that the lieutenant is so patient with little children.” Stacy commented. “Otherwise we would have another ‘scene’ to deal with, like with Shawn.”  
“Oh god yeah, your brother was seriously pissed Connor.” Tina chuckled “It was just a silly coin.”  
Connor frowned, shaking his head at officer Chen before taking out his own coin. It certainly didn’t look special, but…  
“Our model… We’re still trying to figure it out. But, Cyberlife had a habit of programming recalibration tasks into their androids. Ours was coin tricks. That coin is the only property 60 ever owned. It was his coin…”  
“…Oh. Sorry I didn’t mean–”  
“It’s quite fine. I’m sure the children didn’t mean harm when they used it on the vending machine.” Connor smiled sadly “Shawn is just…Getting used to emoting. It’s a little difficult sometimes.”  
“They certainly look like they mean harm this time…Look how red Hank’s face has become!” Stacy pointed out suddenly, seeming quite nervous.

Tina and Connor looked over and gawked. The twins had gotten into Hank’s stuff, and they’d apparently nicked Cole’s baseball cap after Hank had retrieved his stolen mug. Hank was not happy. In fact, he looked ready to blow.  
“Holy– Reed control your little gremlins!” Ben called out from his own desk before he got up to go over to Hank’s side.  
“They’re not doing harm!” Gavin dismissed as he went to get himself a coffee.  
“Damn it Gavin, you’re a cop! Taking someone else’s things without permission is a goddamn crime!” Chris yelled after the detective.  
Tina, Stacy and Connor exchanged nervous glances as they tried to think of what to do, only for the ST model to pause when one of her sisters called her from the front to inform her of something.  
“Oh…It seems Anais has arrived to pick up the boys.” She seemed relieved.  
“Finally those two are really getting on–” Tina paused. “…Oh god damn it, there they go.”  
Connor rose an eyebrow in confusion before looking back towards the commotion. To his surprise, the cap was in Hank’s hands and the twins were nowhere in sight. The older cop seemed to sign in resignation while Ben muttered to himself.  
Chris on the other hand, looked   
“Are you seeing this shit? Every time!” The officer shook his head in disbelief. Connor followed his gaze to Gavin’s desk and did a double take.  
  
Gavin Reed had somehow rushed back from the break room unnoticed, looked less like the hobo he usually dressed as, and the twins were seated on his lap. Sitting still like little angels.  
And as soon as Anais (a pudgy and rather short African-American woman with curly hair tied in a messy ponytail) walked in, the trio smiled the kind of smile you’d see in one of those over-budgeted car commercials with interracial families.  
“Hey Annie. How was work?” Gavin’s tone was uncharacteristically sweet and it honestly gave Connor the creeps.  
“Same as usual dear. I hope Adrian and Edgar were on their best behaviour?” Anais smiled, those tired kind eyes twinkling lovingly at the three troublemakers.  
“Always! These two are practically boyscouts!” Gavin chuckled. Tina made a gagging noise while Connor opened and closed his mouth in disbelief.  
  
The sweet careful tone, gentle touches, and the twin menaces’s good behaviour lasted the whole way to the door as Gavin walked them out. When he returned, he was back to looking like the surly rat he truly was.  
“The phuck you assholes looking at?!”  
Everyone went back to work, relieved the twins had finally gone away.  
Connor just stood there at a loss.  
“…What the actual fuck?”  
“It’s Gavin. He’s 90% fuck-face, 10% complex mystery.” Tina shrugged. “Honestly tho, nice Gavin scares me…”  
“Same” everyone else in earshot agreed while they watched the aggressive detective stalk back to the break room to get his coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Gavin's the sort of guy who reserves affectionate and genuinely caring behavior towards family exclusively.  
Otherwise he's that really unberable asshole at work that you love to hate.


	26. The Giraffe and the Canary (Animal AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus was the largest giraffe bull at the Detroit Zoo.  
Simon was a tiny canary who wanted to migrate.  
Both lived very lonely lives before they met.

Markus was the largest giraffe bull that the Detroit Zoo owned. A successful story of a very devoted team of handlers and vet. The poster child of hope for conservation efforts and breeding programs alike.  
Markus had been the first calf to be born in a span of 5 years, and he had been born very small and sickly.   
His mother had rejected him, so in the end he'd been raised by his human handlers. Not that he minded really, he didn't like the other giraffes anyway...  
They were always too full of themselves to care about him when he was just a calf, now they were all too impressed with his transformation into a large strong bull to want anything but the instinctual sparring and minimal affection for child-bearing.  
  
"Who would have thought itty bitty little Markus would have lived and grown up to be so handsome?"   
  
"That neck of his looks strong. You think I could take him? I've been eyeing Cecilia and I know for sure she'll let me mount her if I beat Markus."  
  
"Do you think our calves would grow up to be as large, powerful and elegant as him?"   
  
"Don't bother with him, just present yourself and hope he's in the mood. He's a bit eccentric from being raised by the humans..."  
  
His ears twitched in annoyance as he caught bits and pieces of conversations between his peers.   
No, he really didn't care for the other giraffes.   
They were hardly any fun at all, and not good conversationalists.   
"On your own again buddy?"  
Markus looked over towards where Josh, one of his favorite handlers, was currently cleaning his favorite part of the enclosure. The one that had a view towards the city. He liked to watch the humans go about their lives, ride their cars and speak into odd contraptions.  
Humans were so much easier to understand.   
He had a few he loved to watch.   
Like his handlers, the pretty vet lady that he knew Josh liked a lot, the old man who would come to paint, and the zoo owner who'd come over to shake his head at Markus for being a stubborn loner.  
"Come on Markus, you have to try to be with the other giraffes." Josh spoke to him. He snorted in indignation at the mere thought. "It must be very lonely being by yourself so much."   
True, but he wasn't alone right now.   
He leaned down as best he could and lipped at Josh's work cap. As soon as he had a good grip on it, he pulled it off and held it a little above the human.   
"Hey!" Josh protested loudly, letting go of the broom he'd been holding and trying to hop up to catch his cap. "Markus!"   
"He got you again, same old trick Joshy." The giraffe saw North from the corner of his eye and snorted.   
He made sure to drop the now drool covered cap on Josh's head, before giving the darker skinned man a lick for good measure.   
"Gross!"   
"You love it really. You're never angry at Markus, even when he pranks you in public." North chuckled.  
"What can I say? He's practically my son." Josh sighed as he cleaned his face with his sleeve. "Remember when he was so small that I could reach his ears and scratch them while he was being bottle fed?"   
"I also remember you mumbling reassuring things on his medical checkups."  
"He was a big baby. Now look at him." Josh smiled up at the massive giraffe, but there was a hint of sadness to it. "...Do you think we ruined him a bit?"   
"What do you mean?" North frowned.   
"You're a vet, North. He's not...Socializing normally." Josh explained. "Do you think we maybe caused him to be rejected?"   
"Not likely. The other giraffes are interested. He's the one that avoids them." North reassured. "Markus is a bit of a loner."   
"Well he certainly likes us." Josh noted.   
"That's because we're his parents." North laughed.  
  
Markus watched the two talk with each other, feeling content to watch the handler and vet exchange a quick kiss before returning to their respective work.   
They made a very cute couple. He was happy at least someone had found their perfect mate...  
It wasn't that he didn't try to socialize with the others. He just found them boring.   
They weren't good talkers, they weren't very kind either. That bothered him.   
So he prefered to live his lonely life, watching the humans in his most favorite spot of the enclosure.  
Until one day he wasn't alone.  
One day, while trotting lazily towards his spot, he saw the most peculiar of sighs.   
A tiny yellow canary sitting on the wall that kept between him and the world.   
A domestic canary. At the zoo. That was a very unusual thing indeed.  
"Excuse me?" He called out in greeting. "Are you perhaps lost?"   
The canary startled, feathers puffing out as it turned to look up at him with clear blue eyes.   
It seemed to gawk, it's beak opening and closing unsurely, before it spoke.  
"Oh my...You're perhaps the strangest horse I've ever seen!"   
The giraffe blinked, then snorted in amusement.   
"Pardon? You think I'm a horse?"   
"Are you not?" The canary cocked its tiny head to the side in confusion. "Then uh...Are you perhaps a very large cow?"  
At this Markus couldn't help laugh out loud. He shook his head and looked back at the canary.   
"No, not at all. I am a giraffe."   
"A giraffe...? That can't be right. I've heard they live in Africa." The canary hopped to the side and turned to look at the city before looking back up at Markus. "This isn't Africa."   
"No, it's Detroit. And you, my little household friend, are currently resting on the wall of Detroit's only zoo."   
"A zoo...Oh, that makes much more sense!" The canary sounded relieved "For a moment there, I thought I'd made a mistake!"  
"A mistake?"   
"Why, yes. You see...I'm uh, a little new at the whole migration thing. I've been flying all day and sat here to rest."   
Markus flicked his ears and blinked at the small domestic bird.   
"Canaries don't...Migrate..."   
"I know, but I want to!"  
"But why? Surely you'd prefer a life indoors, taken care of by your human family?" Markus asked, conserned with this little oddball.   
"Not at all! It's terrible!" The canary exclaimed "So little space to move in a cage... No friends to talk to... I only saw my owner once a day!"  
There was a small pause.  
"It was so very..." The canary hesitated.   
"...Lonely?" Markus offered.   
"Yes." His little feathery friend sighed. "But you must enjoy it out here. So much space! A nice view, and a lot of other giraffes to talk to, right?"   
"Right...On the uh first two things."  
"Oh? Do you not have any friends to talk to?" The canary seemed saddened.   
"I...well I have friends, just not ones I can talk to. The others are just so very weird!" Markus confessed. "All they think about is fighting and sex!"   
"Oh, that sounds very shallow of them..."  
"It is!" Finally someone understood "It's like they weren't raised properly! And then they call me weird for being raised by humans... Josh and North are wonderful. So are Lucy, Kara, Luther and their daughter Alice. Oh and the Jerrys who are very fun."  
"It sounds to me like being a giraffe is just as boring as being a canary..." The tiny bird noted.   
"Sounds like it... But why migrate? I know you said you disliked being cooped up. But isn't migration dangerous for such a small bird like yourself?"  
"I have nowhere to go. No friends and now no family...So I hoped migrating would help me find a place of my own."   
"But...you could very well die! There are dangers in the city."   
"What would you suggest instead?"  
  
Later that very same day, Kara ran out of the giraffe enclosure after feeding time to notify Josh that there was a very tiny stowaway in Markus's pen.  
"How do you think a canary got in there?" North asked, as she looked up at where the domestic bird was currently perched.   
"Knowing Markus, he probably found it funny and helped it get up there..." Josh sighed. "But where the hell did he even find a canary?"  
Regardless of where exactly he found the bird, the canary ended up becoming a permanent fixture to the pen, and then people could see the massive bull walking around outside with a tiny ball of feathers resting between his horns.  
A few days into the canary's stay, Kara began to leave food for it.   
"I'm happy Markus has made a friend. It broke my heart seeing him so alone." She admitted.   
"Indeed. And look how much more active he's become." Lucy smiled as the team of handlers watched their massive charge run around the enclosure with his tiny passenger enjoying the view. It was a very odd pair, but if it did no harm they weren't about to separate the two.   
"Simon is the kind of friend he needed."   
"Simon?"   
"He looks like a Simon."  
Simon the canary and Markus the giraffe.   
An odd pair indeed, but neither of them was complaining.  
"How does your kind show affection?" Simon asked one day.   
"Oh...Well uh, necking isn't just for fighting. We uh, do a gentler version that I guess can be like cuddling..."   
"You cuddle with your necks?"   
"Yeah...And yours?"   
"Uh...Cuddling too. But we also sing."  
"Ah. I'm not a very good singer." Markus confessed.   
"And I think I might be a little too small for you to cuddle... There has to be some middle ground, right?"   
"Well...When you rest between my horns, it's kind of like cuddling, right?" Markus suggested.  
"Well there's another thing we do. Sometimes we uh, press beaks together, like how humans kiss." Simon recalled. "Can you kiss?"   
"I can try." The giraffe concentrated on the tiny canary currently sitting on his muzzle and extended his tongue. He left a sticky trail across one wing, but to his surprise that didn't seem to bother the canary.   
"Well, I won't be able to fly for a bit, but that kind of tickled!" Simon chirped. "Also your tongue has a very odd color!"   
"It's not an odd color."   
"Aww, don't be ashamed, it's a lovely color."  
  
The other giraffes sometimes talked about how Markus's eccentricities knew no end. How the giraffe raised by humans was so very weird that somehow he'd fallen in love with a bird no bigger than a small rock. Some of the pigeons also talked of the yellow canary that puffed his feathers not for a female bird, but for a massive and very weirdly shaped mammal that could very easily crush him.   
They were less unforgiving than the giraffes, but their comments were still very rude. Simon and Markus did not care.  
They were happy together, as different as they were, and their handlers knew not to separate them.   
Life was much less lonely now that they had someone who understood.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another twitter thread fic I wrote, this time however I had animal AUs on the mind.  
It was nice to write such an odd and heartwarming little story.


	27. Fuck, Marry , Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh has a huge fan base that wholly adores him, and maybe wants to marry him.
> 
> Requested by Sociallyawkwardperi on Tumblr, who wanted Josh to become a National Treasure™ like Keanu Reeves became a National Treasure™.

“Leo, when I asked for you to keep an eye on what’s going on in social media regarding public opinion on the pro-android campaigns, I didn’t mean this…”

The brunet glared In mild annoyance as Markus walked into the kitchen holding his laptop. His annoyance escalated to mild irritation when he noticed his Accord profile was online.  
He promptly got up from where he was seated with the others, dropping his cards on the table on top of everyone else’s (which made a winning North throw up her arms in anger at her sudden loss), and walked over to his brother to snatch it away from his hands.  
“Don’t snoop through my shit, asshole!” Leo growled as he set the laptop down on the table. “I’ve been keeping up to date with shit too, so don’t get your panties in a knot…”  
“Playing Fuck, Marry, Kill with a bunch of strangers online isn’t keeping up to date with public opinions…” Markus groaned.  
“Shit, they started a round of FMK? Nice…” Leo snorted before shaking his head. “But in all seriousness, that Accord server there, is an exclusive team of elite that I assembled for that little favour you asked. They’re pretty good at keeping me up to speed on things… Sometimes shit doesn’t really happen all day tho, so we get bored and discuss the finer things.”  
“Like Fuck, Marry, Kill?” North rose an eyebrow in disbelief.  
“Yep.” Leo popped the ‘P’ at the end for emphasis before beginning to type into the chat. The four androids noticed his chat handle was 'KingOfTheUrbanJungle’, an obvious play on his actual name. Charming. “Usually it’s pretty chill, unless there’s been anything dodgy going on online. We got an expert keeping up with the shadier sort, and another that’s been keeping tabs on android supporters and community modders.”  
“Isn’t modding illegal?” Simon asked.  
“Only because Cyberlife’s pitched the hissiest of fits over their merch being potentially stolen and copied, or worse, repaired at home. Cyberlife hates DIY engineers and mechanics that have an eye for robotics…That sort of crap. They’re intimidated.” Leo explained as he left an inquiry on who the FMK prompt was for. “That’s not even accounting for people who can’t fucking afford their ridiculous insurance policies. You know they tried to bill dad after the cops shot you down…”  
“They did what?!” Markus looked horrified.  
“Yep. Tried to bill a bed-bound elderly man who nearly died of a heart attack. Dad told me they only got their tiny dicks back in their pants after Elijah Fucking Kamski rained hell on their parade since technically he has full rights to your software and design…” Leo shrugged “Score one for androids being property I guess… But only this once.”  
“Those sons of bitches…” Markus muttered darkly before the laptop pinged.  
“Oh! Ooh that’s a hard one…” Leo mumbled as he read the prompt, sent by someone going by 'LatinaLatte’. What an odd chat handle. “Damn.”  
“Is it celebrities?” Simon asked.  
“Nope. She’s asking out of Markus, Josh and North, who we’d fuck, marry and kill.” Leo admitted with a grin on his face. Everyone stared at him. He gulped.  
“…Obviously I would not fuck Markus…?” He offered “But I’m uh, not inclined to kill anyone so uh…hard choice?” They still stared.  
And then the chat pinged. Someone going by 'LamentingMercenary’ immediately presented their thoughts.  
“Fuck North, marry Josh, kill Markus.” Leo wrinkled his nose “Of course he would, what an ass…”  
“Wow this game sucks…” North glared daggers. She was not too inclined with being the subject of someone’s fantasies. Another ping, 'LatinaLatte’ this time.  
“Fuck Markus, marry Josh, kill North.” Leo read. Another ping from 'MercifulDisappointment’.  
“Can you fuck and marry Josh and kill both North and Markus?” Leo cackled when 'QueenBitch’ replied to the last comment with a clearly disappointed “No” while everyone else started laughing in chat. Leo nearly forgot he had an audience.  
“Ok so uh, there’s like a lot of people saying fuck and marry Josh…consistently.” Simon pointed out. “Not one person has said kill Josh.”  
“It’s rigged I tell you…” North grumbled. Leo blinked at her in confusion and then shook his head.  
“Nah not really… There’s like, a fan page of you guys, with polls and shit…Josh is like, #1 in all of it.” The others, including a very uncomfortable and flustered Josh, all stared blankly at him.  
“…What?” Markus asked.  
“You really don’t know? Markus I linked you the damn Facebook page…”  
“Nobody uses Facebook anymore!” Markus protested.  
“Well fuck Markus, they still do and holy crap it’s insane… Here.” He quickly closed his Accord tab and opened up the ancient website that should have been dead and buried by now thanks to a lot of law suits, but that came back crawling from the grave every two years. Surely enough there was a fan page dedicated to the Jericho leaders and Josh scored the highest in popularity, with Simon coming close second.  
“What the shit?” North gawked.  
“Yeah… Crazy right? Makes sense tho, Josh is like…The perfect poster child here.” Leo shrugged.  
“How exactly?” Josh looked very uncomfortable.  
“…Dude…You’re nice. And nonthreatening? You help old ladies across the street, you’re very gentle with kids, you help with the community…” Leo listed off “You’re not… I donno, overly perfect and unapproachable. You don’t openly fight people. You don’t yell, you don’t hide away at the tower all day… People get like, super nervous around Markus and North, and they see very little of Simon so you’re like… The only Jericho leader they ever actually seen being a part of society?”  
There was a collective silence from the four androids. They were stunned really, after hearing all of this.  
It was a little hard to process.  
“You’re all doing good out there, fighting the good fight and helping who needs it… But yeah honestly you three are a bit too scary. Josh is openly kind and outgoing and that gets people more at ease…”  
“So basically… People prefer Josh because he’s just… Being himself?” Simon blinked.  
“… Yep.”  
“….”  
“To be fair, it’s easier to get behind the cause of someone who reads to kids in his free time.”  
“I…How did you know about that?!” Josh frowned. He hadn’t told anyone what he did with his spare time.  
“It’s on YouTube. Some of the androids at the tower uploaded videos of you with the kids at New Jericho. It’s super cute dude.”  
“Oh god…That’s really creepy! And embarrassing!” Josh covered his face with his hands in mild distress.  
“It also apparently made a chatroom with 11 people horny for you.” North pointed out.  
“North, not helping!”  
“Then stop being so cute all the time!”  
“He can’t it’s in his nature.” Simon shook his head sadly.  
“Simon don’t encourage her!!!”  
  
Leo smirked as he watched Markus sigh and try to help mediate the ensuing argument, before typing into the private Accord server chat.  
  
“Can we all agree Josh is like, a national treasure, and that deep down we’d all marry him?”

The chatroom seemed to wholly agree with him on that one.  
And then 'G69D’ commented.

“So would you fuck or kill your brother? I know for a fact you’d not go near North even with a 20 foot pole.”  
Leo grimaced and closed his laptop.


	28. (Not) A Lady's Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hank’s dating life is a mess. Connor tries his best to help.
> 
> Requested by Sociallyawkwardperi on Tumblr, who wanted Hank to nervously try flirting with some Ladies™, while Connor in turn tries to be his Wingman.

At age 54, Hank wouldn’t consider himself at the top of his game. Not because he was the worst looking guy around the block (he’d been told he had a lot of charm if he just put some effort into his looks), but because he’s an unsociable recovering alcoholic with a nihilistic view of the world, and a morbid sense of humor that put people off.  
It had been 4 years since he’d thought about going out to flirt. 3 out of those 4 years were spent in bars and at home, drinking himself into a stupor until the weight of the gun in his hand didn’t seem so frightening.  
2038 had been a turning point. 2039 was a chaotic mess, but he was getting better.  
In the end, it’s a very unlikely source that suggests he look into getting back into the flirting scene.

“You seem awfully bored when you end up getting dragged out here.” None other than Carl Manfred himself, brings up one day while he sits on the man’s couch, waiting for Connor to finish up with the others in the kitchen. Their meetings are very frequent now, in the final months of the year. Connor and North are New Jericho’s lead security officers and their input is invaluable in the name of avoiding “incidents” like the one that happened in Washington. Sometimes Hank ends up having to come with because he’s Connor’s ride back, and because there’s no need to call a cab every two days just to go to and fro.

“I’m not the kind to like sitting around staring at thin air.” He replied nonchalantly as he tried to ignore the taxidermy animals squinting down at him in as judgmental a manner as a set of plastic dead eyes could. “I’d read, but I’m not exactly a fan of any of the books you could offer… No offense.”

“None taken.” Carl chuckled “I’ve always been told I was a bit of a drag when it came to what genres I indulged in.”

“Let me guess, scorned lovers that fantasized about their idol reading erotica novels?” Hank snorted, smirking when he got a laugh out of Carl.

“The best lovers I’ve had were fascinated about philosophy. Although one of them much prefered when I recounted where I got my collections. He wanted to scalp the man who thought to stuff a cat into such a stiff pose like that…” Carl admitted “But yes. I’ve had a fair share of people who wanted me to read pornography rather than sate my curiosity. I’m sure the same has happened to you.”

“Nope. Never had issues about what I liked to read, if I ever had anything good to really sink my teeth into.” Hank sighed “Then again my ex-wife and I shared a lot of interests… And I never really did the whole dating thing up until I met her, so very little disagreements with ex-flings.”

“Fair enough.” Carl shrugged “But you know, it’s never really too late to get back out there, if you ever do need anything else to attend to other than listen to an old man blabber on about his past…”

“What? Me? Go out there?” Hank blinked “To…To date?”

Carl shrugged calmly before looking over towards the kitchen. The androids seemed to be wrapping up their meeting.

“Not necessarily if you don’t want to, but I’m sure it’d be nice to find some company to enjoy yourself with once in a while.” Carl reassured as the others came pouring out of the kitchen, seeming satisfied with their discussion “Or you could get yourself a pet.”  
  


Not being particularly inclined to get another pet (Sumo was already enough of a handful), Hank decided to look into other things. Maybe a new hobby, or a trip to the gym to keep his mind off of things. But, since he wasn’t entirely excited about getting some sunshine and adding activities to his life, Hank fell back on the dating option.  
He’d not really made much of an effort since Lorraine left, and honestly he wasn’t even sure where to begin.  
He was better with his drinking, he wasn’t as pissy anymore, and his clothing was clean and ironed to perfection (thanks to a certain OCD android). There was just one itty bitty little detail.

“Hey Connor…you wouldn’t know how to cut hair, would you?” He called out from the bathroom as he stared at the long locks of gray hair. He had split ends and his beard looked a mess.

“I can download such information if you require it.” The RK800 poked his head through the doorway, one eyebrow raised in mild curiosity. “Is there a particular reason you wish to change your usual appearence?”

“No reason…Just uh, you know. Feel like changing it up.” Hank pulled his hair back a bit. He’d look a little better with short hair.

“Lieutenant, you are a terrible liar.”

Hank furrowed his brow and glared at Connor who sheepishly smiled back at him.

“Can you cut my hair or not?”

“Certainly. And I can trim your beard while we’re at it.”  
  
  


* * *

He’s a little nervous when he steps foot inside the bar later that same night. He wasn’t a lady’s man in his youth, and he certainly wasn’t a lady’s man at his current age. He could wash up nicely, especially after a cut and a trim (Connor had done a fantastic job while also interrogating him on his “true” motives), but he lacked the confidence to chat up any women.

“Deep breaths Hank, women don’t bite.”

“Some do Connor.” Hank sighed as he looked around. He’d never been so reluctant to go to a goddamn bar.

“… I was under the impression that only came up at least on a third date, after a paid dinner, too much to drink, and three hours of senseless coitus.”

The old cop stared at the prototype.

“What the fuck kind of dates have you been on?!”

“Two. One with Chloe, another with a very drunk Simon… None of which ended that way, but Simon did cry for the remainder of his date and tell me those exact words.”

“When did you go on a date with Simon, and how the fuck did you get him drunk?!”

“I am under the impression he wanted rebound sex, and some friends of Leo have been experimenting with thirium blends that emulate the effects of alcohol… It’s uh… Still in experimental phase and three shots was more than enough to inebriate Simon…” Connor looked uncomfortable “I had to call North to have her pick him up. She was very disturbed.”

“No fucking shit, sounds like a pretty bad night… I didn’t even know androids liked sex or alcohol…” Hank ran a hand through his face.

“Neither did I, yet here we are…” Connor sighed. “Regardless of that bad experience, we should find you a suitable partner to spend the night with.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying since we set foot here,but so far I’ve only seen girls half my age and I’m not into cradle snatching…”

“How about that one? She’s 49 and in good health, although her level of intoxication indicates she’s here to forget rather than to party…”

“…Connor please don’t scan people. It’s cheating and a little creepy.”

"…Sorry Hank.”

“Yeah yeah, let’s just… Keep looking.”  
  
  


* * *

They ended up going back home after stopping at a Chinese restaurant to buy takeout first. He could try online dating next. Maybe he could get a real interesting gal instead of getting catfished and having his organs harvested in some dodgy hotel.  
Or Hank could get another dog. An option Connor wholly agreed with.

“Sumo wouldn’t like it.”

“He would if we got a female.”

“… I feel like that’s a jab at my failed attempt to hook up.”

“Why lieutenant! I would never!” Connor smiled, ignoring the roll of Hank’s eyes. There was always next time…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better luck next time Hank!


	29. Heart's Desire (Demon Summoning AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> North finally asks for her heart's desire.  
The spell relents out of contractual obligation.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted a continuation of the previous demon summoning AU prompt.

"He’s asleep, for now at least…“ Simon mutters as he locks the basement door with a padlock and key. North can barely see anything inside the room through the metal slot on the reinforced door, and she doesn’t think to ask why Simon had the basement level remade into something like a prison cell.   
She has a feeling that she doesn’t want to know the answer.  
"I…” She starts, bruised face and bloodied cracked lips so painful that it hurts to speak. She’s tired.   
She had fought for her life, knowing she couldn’t win against a 9 foot tall beast that knew she had a black belt and called her name with her lover’s voice. “I didn’t know y-you owned a gun…”  
Simon pauses, key in hand as he looks at her.  
She watches him pocket the item before he shakes his head and slumps his shoulders.  
"…I didn’t.“ Simon’s eyes are sad and just as tired as her own.   
He holds a weight on his shoulders that tells her he’s seen too much. Suffered a loss just as great as her own.   
The bad feeling intensifies, and she can only think of one thing to blame: That book.   
He’d recognized it the moment she showed it to him.  
"What happened to you…?” She asks, knowing full well that something had gone down before she and Josh moved back. And it had to do with Daniel.  
“…What can you tell me about Daniel, North?” Simon asks rather than reply, confirming her suspicions.  
She doesn’t answer, because she knows Simon had a brother, but she doesn’t recall ever meeting him. She knows he must have been close to Simon if his death had shaken him up so much that he’d begged for their support, but honestly she doesn’t know what to say.  
“I…Don’t think we ever met.”  
Simon’s reaction startles her. He laughs.  
He laughs an ugly broken laugh that breaks her heart even more than it already is. Turns each shard to dust.  
"…I hoped… You could remember I had a brother, but I g-guess it was wishful thinking that you’d know who he was.“ Simon looks so very hurt. He hugs himself tightly and shakes.  
"Simon?”  
"He was my twin… We were insepperable the four of us… F-fuck I…“ Simon ran a hand over his face and sobbed "I…I fucked up badly North…”  
  
  


* * *

The bakery had been doing poorly ever since the new supermarket had opened up on the other block. A lot of the smaller shops were losing clients and closing down, since people thought the new place was a lot more convenient.  
Simon and Daniel’s tiny store quickly lost sales and the two were not meeting their quota at the end of the month. Rent was becoming difficult to pay and they had been desperate.  
"If we don’t find a way to turn this whole mess around, we’ll end up living on the streets…" Daniel had fretted as he looked over the bills. They had piled up so much that they weren’t sure where they’d get the money.  
"I talked to Mrs. Stern, but she’s not one to give more than a second chance. She expects the money by next month…" Simon sighed miserably. “I’m sorry Dan…I tried…”  
"I know…I just… I’m scared Si.“ Daniel looked at him, concern and fear of the unknown clouding his eyes in such a way that they looked like a stormy sky. "I… I’ll go talk to Connor… see if he can lend me an extra buck…”  
"You hate asking for handouts.“  
"Well what choice do I have?!” Daniel grumbled “Unless you can think of something better, I’d suggest you pick up some books on how to make money real quick…”  
  
  


* * *

  
  
"…You took his advice seriously, didn’t you?“ North frowned. Simon shakily nodded, face buried in his hands.  
"Yes…”  
"Simon…What happened?“ She looked over towards the door when she heard soft shuffling inside. The monster that had been Josh had probably shifted in its sleep, just as her beloved tended to. He was a restless sleeper.  
”…I went to the library. I tried looking for business books but…" the blond shook his head “I found that fucking thing instead.”  
His desperation had lead to a very piss poor decision on his part.   
The promise of having his greatest desires given to him by the many spells and rituals.   
It had been so tempting.  
Too tempting for him to resist.  
If he could just pick the right one, do it right and get enough money to save his and Daniel’s tiny little bakery…  
But it had all gone so wrong!  
"I just wanted to help.“ Simon sobs "I never meant to be so selfish!”  
He’d not done it right.  
The spell he chose called for one to clear their mind and choose their one greatest want in life.  
Simon had to focus on saving the bakery, but instead he’d been greedy.  
The thought of how easy it would be to get anything he wanted…  
The bakery had all but left his mind as he’d let himself fantasize.  
What would it be like if he were more? If he were as interesting as his twin? Knew all the things Daniel had taken the time to learn in their youth?  
Be the kind of guy people wanted to get to know?  
He’d been a foolish selfish idiot for thinking such thoughts. And he’d paid for it, just as North had paid for mocking the book.  
"I… Its like… It’s like I had absorbed Daniel in the womb.“ He whispers.  
"What?” North stared, uncertain if she’d heard him right.  
"The ritual… I wasn’t supposed to think of anything but getting the money to save the bakery… But…" he sighed “My insecurities…”  
"You were insecure about your ability to help?“ North asked.  
"No. I just… I always considered Daniel to be the stronger, better twin. I just wanted to be as good as him… instead I erased his existence and… I guess rewrote my life so that I was Daniel but not.” Simon grimaced, before looking back at her. “And I know it goes beyond just… Just him being gone.”  
"I… How?“ North dares ask.  
He doesn’t reply, instead he takes her hand and puts it against his chest. She raises an eyebrow before she feels it.  
A twin thumping of two separate hearts, inside a single chest cavity.  
”…Oh my god…"  
"I didn’t just kill my brother. I became him, and now I have his heart to remind me that I’m a selfish monstrous fuck.“  
  
  


* * *

Josh doesn’t eat much for a large beast. Simon feeds him liver, hearts and other assorted parts he gets at a butchers. They rarely go inside the basement and, when they need to clean it, they use Daniel’s tranq gun to knock him out.  
North sits by the door most days. She talks to her fiancee for many hours, letting him know she still loves him and that she’s sorry for getting him into this mess.  
Sometimes he moans her name, the chain around his neck dragging against the floor as he tries to reach her.  
She knows he’d sink his teeth into her throat if he ever got the chance.

Simon hid the book better this time. No longer in any of the public sections of the library. It’s locked in a safe in Daniel’s old room, where no one else would think to look.  
Whenever he’s not at the library, he’s reading those damned pages in search of a way to fix Josh.  
So far, he’s found nothing   
So North bides her time and speaks to her lover.  
"Simon can shoot guns now, and do rock climbing… His back pains are gone and he can chat up Markus now…” she recounts through the slot. She can see the glimmer of four goat-like eyes peering over at her in the dark. The rumbling growl is unsettling. “He wasn’t kidding… He really did absorb his brother… He has two hearts now. Says it helps him sleep when he feels the heartbeat on the left. It’s like Daniel’s still here…”  
**“Nooooorth….”** The mournful rumble makes her pause. She shivers but carries on.  
"You remember Daniel don’t you? No one else can… And I don't… Fully remember…" she confesses “But he knew a lot of stuff. Simon was jealous of him, but he loved him… He misses him a lot. Like… Like how I miss you.”  
The chain rattles closer, she can hear hooves and claws scraping along the floor. Her eyes prickle slightly.  
"Josh… You know I’ve always been shit with words. I’ve been an angry unpleasant person for most of my life, and somehow you never felt put off by my attitude.“ North laughed bitterly "Guess you got the short end of the stick here… But… What I’m trying to say is…”  
She looks at the slot and her skin crawls as the muzzle tries to force itself through. A mixture of a wolf, and a Chinese lion dog, with curled fangs and a snake-like tongue that writhes and slithers in all directions. Thirsty for blood.  
"Is that… I’m sorry.“ She lets the slot rest against the beast’s maw, shivering when the serpentine tongue catches her fingers. The saliva is hot against her skin. "I shouldn’t have been a dick. I shouldn’t have read out of that stupid book… I never wanted anything. I thought what we had was plenty… and if I had to ask for anything… I’d just ask to have you back.”  
The beast shuts its jaw sharply.  
She can’t hear him breathing heavily anymore.  
"… I want you back Josh. That’s all I want…" she gets up, looks down at the monstrous muzzle and presses a quick kiss to that ugly squashed nose of his, and turns to leave.  
"**N**o**R**t**H**…?“  
She stops.  
"Josh…?”  
The muzzle pulls away from the slot, replaced by a clawed set of digits. On one finger Josh’s ring gleams in the low light.  
"North…" his eyes peek through the slot. There are still four but they’re **his**.  
Her heart skips a beat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's hoping for North and Josh's future.


	30. Little Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh would make a good father.

When he first came across a child model Josh didn’t know what to say. He knew there were androids meant to simulate human offsprings but he’d never actually thought he’d meet one himself, or any child for the matter…  
As a norm PJ500s did not exist in spaces where humans bellow the age of 16 or 18 congregated. They weren’t programmed to teach bellow college program levels and thusly had no social protocols for children. Even privately owned tutor PJ-Series were meant to help with advanced studies on topics like socioeconomics and physics.  
Talking to a child wasn’t rocket science so Josh had failed terribly at it, if the look Simon had given him was anything to go by.  
He’d sounded robotic when he spoke to the poor girl, and frankly he had felt ashamed that he not only frightened her but also couldn’t find it in him to be welcoming towards her.  
Simon had definitely been very upset with him for upsetting the poor thing…

The second time he met a child android was a little less awkward than the first. He’d practiced with Lucy’s help. Loosened up a little on the whole teacher-student relationship protocols that tried to force their way into his general demeanor, and helped Simon settle in a pair of YK500s who had been on their way back to the shop after their mother (their owner) had perished on the ride back home from an evening at the bar. At the time he’d played it off cool, but something in the back of his mind had nagged at him that leaving two small children completely alone (even if they were androids), felt like negligent and reckless behaviour from someone who was trying to be a parent…  
Josh had felt somewhat satisfied that he’d managed to work out how to talk to little kids. And some of them liked history, so it had fed them little tidbits of historical trivia he knew. The stuff that was age appropriate and non-violent of course. Simon would be furious if he divulged the need behind inventions like the guillotine or a trebuchet.

The third time he meets a child android isn’t a moment he likes to remember. In fact, it’s perhaps one of his most darkest moments…  
He’d been roaming the streets in the late evening, marveling over the little privacy he got from sneaking out and hiding in plain sight. His model wasn’t common and he rarely had left campus, so no one thought to look at the big tall guy with the baseball cap and the ratty jacket. He was just another figure walking through the crowd.  
It felt like freedom, even if in the end he was just hiding behind a facade.  
Josh had nearly missed it himself as he walked. The tiny figure laying in a heap of trash, completely ignored by those who walked right past him.  
He looked like a child, but was met with no kindness or sympathy from the humans who’d grown apathetic towards android-kind. The moment they saw blue staining bellow the boy’s nose they’d simply turned a blind eye and carried on marching, as if in an assembly line.  
Josh had been revolted by this.  
Had been so horrified and disgusted that he’d nearly let his anger boil over.  
He’d taken the poor YK400 to Jericho, fueled by a gutteral seething rage that would have incinerated those around him if it had come off of him in waves like pure energy.  
He’d taken care of the boy himself, the dark look in his eyes having deterred Simon and Lucy from advancing in his direction.  
North hadn’t bothered him that day either. Instead she curled up with him when he finally came out from behind the blinding veil of rage against humanity.  
He cried like a baby that night, and he’d cry again for every single little boy and girl that came crawling into the derelight freighter that should have otherwise terrified any child.  
Anything looked like sanctuary when the adults that promised to love and care for you suddenly decided you were not wanted anymore.

Josh starts teaching the YK-series not long after his third encounter. He does his damn hardest to not go onto the advanced topics right away, instead gradually evolving their classes so that the children can naturally adjust to the level changes.  
They’re eager learner’s, especially Ezra who Josh has grown incredibly attached to since rescuing him. The poor boy attends his classes, but his thirium pump malfunctions cause him tremendous discomfort that require him to take short breaks.  
That’s all fine, because afterwards Josh will sit with him and tell him bedtime stories he’s learned from Simon. He watches over Ezra as he sleeps and feels a comfortable warmth in his chest.  
  
  


* * *

The day they leave Simon behind in Stratford is the same day Josh has to say goodbye to Ezra. It was a matter of time before his pump shorted out and Lucy had been watching out for the signs.  
She finds him browsing through children’s books he’d “borrowed” on his last secret excursion to the outside world, trying to forget that his friend is likely dead and gone by now, when the heavily damaged KL-series pulls him towards Ezra’s corner.  
The boy is terrified and in terrible pain, begging for his short little life. Josh doesn’t cry. He holds the boy tightly and hums softly to him before he shuts down for good.  
Lucy tries to comfort him but Josh doesn’t look at her and doesn’t speak. When North returns, crying over androids she hadn’t known for more than a minute, he nearly loses his mind with anger.  
He feels like she’s betrayed him in some way, but he doesn’t voice this. Instead he feeds into the growing argument between the both of them and gets out of dodge when Markus tells them to stop.  
He only cries when Simon returns, blue blood splatters on his face and a slight limp to his tired geit.  
He cries so hard his processor begins to stall.  
Simon hums to him, just as Josh had done in Ezra’s final moments.  
It doesn’t feel fair that children had to be in the crossfire of their fight against human oppression. Sadly life was rarely fair.  
  
  


* * *

After the revolution Josh continues to teach the android children at the tower. They’re all fond of classes, eager learners that they are, and they especially love the extra curricular activities Simon sets up for them, and Josh’s bedtime reading sessions.  
He wasn’t meant to teach kids but he loves it so much he can’t bring himself to give up on his teaching sessions with the YK-series. Even in the heat of political tensions.  
The humans couldn’t make him hate his profession before, and they certainly couldn’t do it now either.  
He reads to them as a form of healthy enrichment and childish indulgence, but also to honor the little one he’d lost back in Jericho’s ruined carcass.  
The one he likely would have adopted as soon as the law permitted, if it weren’t for the circumstances that took him away from him.  
“You’re a big softy, you know that?” North chuckled as soon as she caught him at the end of a reading session. The children had all left to go to bed and he’d finished another chapter of ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ with them.  
“You’ll find that I have no padding to allow for that.” He joked, tapping on his chest and stomach to emphasize on the hardness of his chassis. “Simon’s the better hugger.”  
“You say that because you’ve never genuinely hugged Markus. His tits are super soft.” North grinned mischievously.  
“I’m not exactly interested in gropping anyone’s… Tits…” He let her drag him away by the arm, smiling as he waved goodbye at some of the stragglers. “The kids are doing good in classes… And they’re really liking the book so far. We have a lot of little boys and girls who want to be like Hermione Granger.”  
“Ever consider adopting?” North suggested.  
“If we ever get that far, yes. Cyberlife is fighting us every step of the way though, and some of those politicians are adamant that androids don’t need familial units…” He glared angrily at the implications. “Because obviously the YK400s and YK500s don’t need parents…”  
“Assholes… Well between you and Simon, the kids are good on parents. They’ve got their big nerd dad and their mother hen.”  
“What would that make you and Markus?” Josh asked.  
“… Cool mom and cool dad?”  
“Wow, you suck at this.”  
“Shut up…” She punched him lightly on the arm. Josh snorted and carried on walking towards the elevator. He considered North’s words and couldn’t help smile to himself, a hint of longing in his eyes.  
He wouldn’t mind a few sets of little tiny feet running around the house…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't a request per say, but an Anon on Tumblr left an ask I couldn't ignore.


	31. Oh my fucking god, it's a dinosaur!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus gets a very unusual call and has to ask his father for a very specific phone number.  
Simon, North and Josh argue over which prehistoric creature is the coolest.  
There's an android T-Rex.
> 
> Requested by my dear friend british-hero, who was in the mood for dino androids and also wanted my OC (Asad Siddiq) to make an appearence.

Markus gets the call early in the morning. He’s spent over 78 hours working on refining the Android Rights bills so it takes him a while to process what Connor is telling him but (when it finally clicks) he practically vaults over his desk and trips out of his room. He scares the ever loving crap out of Matthew who was trying to administer Carl’s meds, and apologizes profusely for intruding.  
“Dad do you still have Mr. Siddiq’s number?” The RK200 asks as he straightens his clothes. He looks a mess.  
“It’s one of my emergency numbers. I keep it on speed dial on my smartphone.” Carl is amused by Markus’s odd question, making sure to pat Matthew’s arm reassuringly when the AP700 starts looking like an angry bird with ruffled feathers. He took his job as a caretaker very seriously and disliked sudden interruptions in his care schedule. “Why?”  
“You’re not going to believe this…” Markus mutters as he looks down at his feet.  
“Try me.”  
  
  


* * *

Carl, it turns out, isn’t that easy to surprise and takes the news in good stride. The others are the ones who cannot believe their eyes when they all drive downtown and lay eyes on  
“Is… Is that a fucking T-rex?!” North’s eyes are wide, while Josh looks like he’s about to have some sort of stroke. Simon on the other hand looks like he’s having a blast.  
“I had almost forgotten the museum bought dinosaur android replicas for the prehistoric exibits!” The PL600 practically bounced in excitement as he watched the T-rex walk around, sniffing it’s environment while the police kept it corraled with squad cars.  
On the other side of the street Connor was helping lieutenant Anderson interrogate the museum owner.  
The four leaders exchanged looks before walking over.  
“I swear, it was all fine this morning, then Rex just…” The middle aged man flailed as he tried to find the right words “Bolted…”  
“No signs of trouble from the other models?” The RK800 inquired further.  
“None whatsoever.” The man insisted.  
Hank pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. He turned to look at the massive android dinosaur and shook his head in disbelief.  
“At least it’s not going around rampaging around town… We don’t need a Jurassic Park reenactment.”  
“I doubt it would feel the need to do so lieutenant.” Connor looked over as well “Most causes of aggression in newly deviated androids is due to abuse and emotional trauma, the signs of which are not at all present in this TRX1’s general demeanor.”  
“I’d say he looks pretty happy.” Simon added as the four joined the three men.  
“Thank you for coming on such short notice, as you can see this is a… Rather strange case.” Connor smiled sheepishly, looking somewhat apologetic towards Markus who looked a little out of it.  
“We’d never mistreat Rex. He’s practically the museum’s crown jewel!” The owner exclaimed “Everyone loves him, especially the children.”  
“We can tell. He’s very docile for uh, a T-rex…” Josh watched as the massive animal decided to lay down in the middle of the road, rumbling contentedly at its newfound freedom.  
“Which is why I need help… He’s a very good boy he is, so it’d feel cruel to coop him up inside in his old enclosure…” The owner frowned sadly. Which was why Markus had preemptively asked for Mr. Siddiq’s number. If anyone could properly house a deviant t-rex it was certainly him.  
  
  


* * *

“I can’t believe we’re doing this…” North grumbled as the four leaders of Jericho chaperoned an android dinosaur through the city, much to the awe of several onlookers in the streets.  
“Asad Siddiq’s android animal sanctuary is located outside of city limits and we can’t exactly ride the subway with a dinosaur.” Markus sighed miserably as Rex lowered his head to nibble on the back of his coat. The large beast chirped affectionately as it lifted the coat up and over the RK200’s head. “Why are you so upset about this anyway? I thought you of all people would love to get up close and personal with the tyrant king lizard.”  
“Tyrannosaurus Rex is overated.” North shrugged “Carnos are waaay cooler.”  
“Carnos are only cool because of the horns. Allosaurus is a lot more impressive.” Josh pointed out. “There’s a fossil with a healed over broken jaw. Proof of it’s adaptability, intelligence and survival tactics.”  
“You’re both wrong. Look up the titanoboa. They ate Tyrannosaurus, Carnosaurus and Allosaurus for breakfast, lunch and dinner.” Simon smirked.  
“We get it Simon, if you could you’d live your life as a snake.” North snorted.  
“RA9 I wish…”  
Markus sighed as the three bickered over which prehistoric animal was the best. Rex licked the back of his head nearly making him fall over.  
  
  


* * *

“This isn’t my first dino rodeo if you’d believe it.” Asad smiled as he ran a hand over the t-rex’s massive snout. Rex practically purred as it got a lot of attention from the elderly man and the YK500 sitting on top of its head.  
“He’s so big and pretty! He’ll get along well with the others, won’t he papa?” Bo giggled from atop the mighty android.  
“You have a dinosaur dome?” Josh asked in disbelief.  
“Indeed. I have gotten calls from several different locations that own all kinds of animal androids. The abuse cases are the worst, but mostly it’s just establishments that find deviants too unpredictable to know what to do with them.” Asad explained “The dinosaurs I have are from an amusement park. They’re all a delight, especially the raptors. They enjoy solving puzzles and going through elaborate maze structures.”  
“Do you have any titanoboas?” Simon asked hopefully. He’d very greatly enjoy watching one in action.  
“Sadly no. The only pair in Detroit was property of the museum and they were reported stolen two years ago…” Asad replied, frowning slightly. “I do wonder what ever happened to them…”  
“So uh… What other dinosaurs do you have then?” North kicked a pebble out of the way, feigning lack of interest.  
“Well we have a male Carnotaurus named El Diablo. He’s a lovely shade of blood red and mahogany.” Asad smiled.  
“Do you have any Allosaurus?” Josh added.  
“A whole group.”  
“Let us see! Please please please?” North and Josh looked over the moon with the thought of seeing their favorite dinos.  
“Certainly! This way to the dome.”  
Markus watched Mr. Siddiq, North, Josh, Bo and Rex walk off while Simon sulked ever so slightly besides him.  
“Aww… I wish there were titanoboas…”  
“Simon, you practically own a Jurassic terror already… Your python is terrifying.” The RK200 shuddered at the thought of those beady red eyes glaring at him.  
“Oh he’s not. He’s a very sweet snake once you get to know him.” Simon shook his head in disagreement and crossed his arms.  
Markus considered this before shaking his head. Between the ornery and possessive albino reticulated python and a group of massive dinosaur androids, he’d rather take his chances with the less aggressive dinos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the Jurassic Park theme music playing in loop while I wrote this.  
It added to the experience.


	32. Technical Mishaps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes even advanced androids do the weirdest stupidest things, and honestly those are the highlight of Simon’s and Rupert’s job as Technicians.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted to know some of the weirdest things to happen while Simon and Rupert were on repair duty at the tower.

The work of a technician often came with heartbreak. Post-Revolution androids would come in with all sorts of horrific injuries after enduring unspeakable abuse and violence.  
For the most part, Simon and Rupert had gotten used to it.  
As the most experienced temporary technicians at the tower, they had continued to offer their services to aid New Jericho whenever the medical ward was swamped with cases. The new staff was good, but some things required some improvisation and quick thinking. Street-smarts helped with that sort of thing.  
All doom and gloom aside, there were moments where androids did come in with less gory injuries and more peculiar predicaments.  
Those were perhaps sometimes the highlight of their job.  
At least Simon thought so when someone walked it looking guilty and sporting an odd injury from a bizarre activity or guilty pleasure, or even from accidentally getting themselves into a bit of a pickle.  
That’s why, while he and Rupert were cleaning Ralph’s facial scarring (a job that required a lot of patience and care so as to not scare the fidgety WR600) Simon couldn’t help burst out in laughter when Josh had to help carry Markus into the medical ward.  
“What the hell?” Rupert gawked while Simon laughed at the sight. Ralph seemed very surprised as well, opening and closing his mouth in awe looking very much like a gasping fish.  
  
Markus appeared to be wedged inside a vent. A vent that Josh had pulled out from a wall and carried all the way up to their floor while the RK200 kept his reddened face low.  
“One of the YK500s dropped their doll in a vent. Our fearless leader here, thought the smartest thing to do was try to climb in and get it.” Josh explained, trying not to giggles between sentences. “He uh, got a little stuck because if his… Voluptuous assets.”  
“Oh my RA9, are you saying Markus got stuck because he’s dummy thicc?!” Simon doubled over and howled with laughter while Josh snorted loudly and tried to hide the smile on his face. Markus whined in protest.  
"I’m not thick!”  
“With all due respect, dat ass says otherwise.” Rupert snorted. “That poor vent…”  
“Ahah… Very funny. Please just, just get me out! This is very uncomfortable.” Markus tried to shift positions, but his arms were pinned and he could barely move his legs.  
“Ok yeah. Hang on I’ll get a saw…” Rupert looked at Ralph “We’re not done with you yet, so don’t go sneaking off.”  
“Ralph would like to stay and see the outcome. This reminds him of when he saw a fat raccoon get stuck in a window in his old home.” The gardener smiled.  
  
Simon knelt down besides Markus’s face and tried to see how badly he was wedged. He whistled when he noticed he’d pinned one arm back while the other stretched forwards.  
“Did you really not realize you’d not fit through?”  
“I was busy trying to grab the doll… Then it just kind of set in that I couldn’t move.” The RK200 sighed in embarrassment and defeat. He was never going to hear the end of this when word got out.  
“If it makes you feel better, Connor came by an hour ago with his head stuck in a pipe. Apparently his coin fell into the sink and he tried to get it back…” The PL600 grinned “Rupert had a good laugh.”  
“How did he get his head in a sink pipe?!”  
“Hank tells the story better. When we get you out, you can ask him about– Oh my god North where are your hands?!”  
  
Josh turned to look at the door, positioning the vent in a way that Markus could see.  
North had just stumbled in with two bloodied stumps where her hands should be. She didn’t look all that bothered, but Daniel (who’d been the one to bring her to the tower) looked very unamused and was mumbling about some androids just not having common sense when it came to household appliances.  
“Funny story. It involves a ring and the garbage disposal at Carl’s…”  
“Is everyone just dropping things where they shouldn’t today?!” Josh shifted the vent again so that he could pinch the bridge of his nose while he propped his cargo against his hip. Markus yelped at the slightly tilted angle.  
“That also reminds Ralph of another less fun time a critter got stuck somewhere in his home!”  
  
Simon sighed.  
Time to get back to work then…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a kudos for Markus's "voluptuous assets".


	33. Firewall Disabled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Software bugs always hits Markus hard.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted a Markus Sickfic.

It was no secret that adaptability and change came naturally the the perplexing mystery that was Markus, the one and only RK200 (Not to be confused by the female household RK200.v2 that Cyberlife had launched to spite Elijah Kamski, those were not at all affiliated with Markus at all and were more akin to upgraded AX400s).  
Markus was an enigma. A chameleonic android that adapted to environmental changes and unexpected situations at the snap of a finger.  
He had an arsenal of specialized programming and an accumulation of knowledge at his full disposal, and his strength and durability were both impressive and, quite honestly, intimidating in the face of other domestic types.  
Despite all this, there was one big issue that came with a constantly mutating code: Viruses tended to hit Markus particularly hard when they fully set in.  
  
It started with an “itchiness” in his borrowed parts. A most peculiar tingling in his legs, a stinging in the back of his ocular biocomponent, a buzz in his auditory receptor, a dull ache in his thirium pump regulator. When he’d taken them from the mass grave that was the Android Junkyard he hadn’t had the time to scan them for malware.  
Latent viruses were an absolute nightmare to deal with, especially Trojans, and Markus soon came to regret not taking the time to sit back and run a few scans in between meetings with Congress and conference calls with President Warren.  
Like parasites straight from hell, the viruses in the spare parts began to eat away at his defenses. Injecting their venom into his veins. Opening up several doors to unwanted guests.  
He never noticed the extra exposure to the maladies of the internet until one moment he was up, and the next he was on the floor suffering a full blown seizure. His body on fire and his mind scrambling with useless looping data.  
The scariest part wasn’t even being so utterly defenceless and in pain. The truly scary part was Carl finding him twitching on the floor making horrid screeching noises, and then seeing his father’s face contort into one of confused panic and then full blown terror as he called out for help.  
Josh carried him all the way to his room while North contacted the technicians at the tower, and Simon and Matthew comforted the elderly artist over Leo’s confused shouts.  
Markus felt ashamed for causing them distress. He felt even more ashamed for purging all over Josh’s nice new jacket and button-up shirt.

When the technician’s arrive (Rupert who, like Simon, still offered his services at New Jericho tower, and a human acquaintance of Leo’s that had been applying for a position in the repair ward) they quickly determine the root of the issue.  
“These parts… They are second-hand, yes?” Artyum questioned as he brought a flashlight to Markus’s right eye, noting how it didn’t react at the same rate to the change of lighting, while Rupert ran external scans.  
“Y-yezsh…” Markus winced at the static tainting his voice. He sounded inhuman almost. Foreign to himself.  
“Ah.” The Russian clucked his tongue and shook his head “It is odd. Viruses not uncommon. Small Trojan files with very little impact besides stuffy voicebox and twitchy parts. Should not cause so much trouble.”  
“Yeah, but uh… Man this is weird.” Rupert tapped the screen displaying Markus’s vitals. His essence, his software, was not reading normally. “It’s like the code isn’t trying to fight it off. The firewalls just… Disabled themselves.”  
“Is that dangerous?” Leo inquired as he peeked over Rupert’s shoulder. The small gathering in Markus’s room all seemed a little alarmed. “Is the uh, is the firewall busted? Does he need a new one?”  
“No!” Markus gulped, choking back a cough and trying to keep his voice clear while everyone turned to look at him “I… Is that not, is that not normal?”  
“No.” Simon replied with a grimace “That’s not normal at all. When we get viruses our firewalls don’t just disable themselves.”  
“Do… Yours do that?” Josh questioned.  
“I… Yeah? They always have.” Markus frowned, shifting uncomfortably under his covers as a mixture of awe, concern and fear seemed to wash over all of the androids and technicians in the room.  
It was Artyum who broke the silence.  
“I’m going to make quick call. Need answers to know how to proceed with… This case.” He scratched his scraggly beard and moved out of the way, muttering under his breath as he looked for his cellphone in his pockets. “Keep updated on physical changes.”  
“Well, sure Art. Here’s one! His skin’s fucking going…”  
“Leo!”  
“Are you blind dad?! Look!”  
“Be more tactful! Christ!”  
Markus pulled the sheets over his head and whined. He could feel at least two hands reach down and patting him comfortingly on the leg and on the shoulder.  
He hated getting sick.  
“RA9… Just, wow. Look at the screen.” Rupert whispered.  
“Holy shit…” Josh sounded a little distressed “Markus’s code is stripping the virus… That’s…” Markus twitched uncomfortably and began to shake.  
“Josh, shut up.”  
Markus let out a distressed sob from within his blanket cacoon. The hands over the covers and squeezed gently in reply.  
“I… Damn I…” Josh sighed “I’m sorry Markus.”  
He didn’t reply, instead reaching out for his friends. Three hands held his own bare one in kind.  
Markus doesn’t take it personally when North and Josh flinch from the heat. He’s more concerned with Simon’s lack of a reaction to the scorching pain.  
  
  


* * *

“To put it simply, Markus is processing the viruses he caught.”  
“Elijah… I need to know if this will hurt Markus.” Carl frowned at the screen, feeling his patience drain as the younger man smiled that obnoxious smile he put on for the cameras. The million dollar smile that got him through interviews with shallow careless people, not the one he reserved for a friend. Carl hated that smile.  
“It’ll put him through some pain and discomfort, but it’ll ensure he’s never affected by them again.” Kamski dismissed over the call. “He might even be able to spread an anti-virus file specifically designed by his firewall to irradicate it. Our Markus is very efficient after all…”  
“Elijah… We need to talk about this in person.”  
“Why, there is hardly any need for that old friend.”  
“Oh…There is.” Carl’s tone took on a slight edge, one that made Kamski’s smile falter with unease “My son is terrified of himself. He has been for a while now… This has only worsened his doubts. You either come by and explain to me what you truly intended when you made Markus, or you’ll explain why your health seems to have taken quite the turn for the better since 2028.”  
Kamski looked away from the camera. Check-mate.  
“Did you think I didn’t notice?”  
“I’ll be seeing you soon then. Expect Chloe and myself at a close date…”  
“Thank you.”  
“Don’t… The word of advice is don’t thank me. You’ll regret that quicker than you could say Rook.”  
  
  


* * *

Leo and Carl made an effort to check in on him. They shouldn’t, when they had more pressing things to worry about with their own health, but empathy was a strong trait of theirs when they weren’t too depressed or inclined to focus on self-loathing.  
Markus loved that about them. Smiled and marveled as he discovered that it was a family thing and a commonality between his father and brother. In this case however, he hated it.  
“You’re not ugly you know.”  
“It… Its stupid.” His voice doesn’t crackle anymore but his voicebox hurts, which is weirder than his bizarre insecurities. “Millions saw me without my skin… But I… It feels, weird, not having it on around… Around you and Carl…”  
“Simon told me you take it off for like… Intimacy and shit. Probably feels weird being uh, sexy naked for your family.” Leo offered as Markus peeked from under the covers.  
“Sexy naked– When is being naked not sexy?” If he had eyebrows right now, one would be raised up incredulously.  
“Three words. Naked drunk grandma.” Leo grimaced “That old hag ruined my poor innocent mind…”  
“That sounds even more absurd than your last statement.”  
“Naked grandma?”  
“That you ever had an innocent mind.”  
Leo grimaced while Markus gave him a tired smile.  
“You’re lucky you’re sick, Freckles the clown, cuzz otherwise you’d get a rotten tomato for your troubles…”  
“Love you…”  
“Yeah yeah… Love you too baldy.” Leo rolled his eyes “Younger siblings, I swear to God…”  
Well, fine, he didn’t hate their visits after all. They were a comfort actually.  
Even if his lack of skin did kind of bother him. He wasn’t entirely sure why but it probably had less to do with intimacy and more with feeling like he didn’t belong.  
Like he wasn’t a Manfred.  
Carl would probably tear him a new one for thinking like that. Sick or not.

  
“Hm, vitals looking good. Traces of virus very minute. Code has processed everything and produced new file to add to firewall, all biocomponents should be returning to maximum efficiency in couple of days.” Artyum stated as he and Rupert went through the final checkup scans. Markus’s skin had returned in patches and his temperature had decreased back to the usual levels. “Outstanding programming. Remarkable… But very hard to work with.”  
“I’d say. But those anti-virus files are pretty sweet. We could probably make copies to use for the update patches next month… If uh, if that’s ok with you Markus?” Rupert stammered as he looked through the firewall archive.  
“I guess I might as well make use of them. Some of these viruses are crippling to older models, so a quick patch should help improve their systems…” Useful or not, being some sort of guinea pig that generated cures for his people was bordering the worrisome godlike status a lot of androids wanted to attribute to him. Markus didn’t want to be a deity of some fanatic religion. He especially didn’t want to be associated with miracle workers and mystic healers…  
“Will go ahead and credit anonymous programmer.” Artyum commented as he took out a flashdrive and handed it over to Markus “Extra attention is… Bad, yes?”  
“I… Yeah.”  
“Know that feeling well…”  
With the files safely copied into the flashdrive and the technicians off to make a difference at his expense, Markus sighed contentedly as he kicked back and picked up his book from the bedside table.  
In a couple of hours it’d all go back to normal. His skin would come back fully, his voicebox wouldn’t be strained, he wouldn’t collapse suddenly into a heap and moan in agony, and he’d go back to dreading the next political events.  
He hated getting sick.  
He especially hated how abnormal his code kept proving to be.  
But Simon, North and Josh looking at him with a little bit of worry?   
Like something was inherently wrong with the software that made him tick?  
That kind of hurt. That kind of hurt a lot.  
He hated being sick…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of Markus headcanons that I want to explore.


	34. Hominis Lupos (Werewolf AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hardest part of getting bit is that, even when he’s the “big bad wolf”, Josh still can’t find a place among his peers.  
Luckily the wolf has an eye for good folk and maybe someone up there is finally looking out for him.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted three specific werewolf AU prompts from a post for Polycho.  
I deviated a bit from script but provided nonetheless!

Despite what anyone might believe, Josh Sawyers had always lived a little rough. He’d gone to school, was well read, enjoyed arts and history, and had dreams of being a teacher one day. Sadly, he’d not had the money to pursue a higher education and due to his area of residency and skin color he was considered nothing but a lowly thug.  
No one wanted to hang out with the too smart black kid that lived very close to the woods. No one but his family really. But that too had changed when he’d gotten bit. No point keeping another mouth to feed when it might try to take your hand with it, and having a werewolf in the family would have further ostricisized his parents and siblings from the All American Dream society they were busting their asses to belong to.  
In the end, Josh had just accepted it and left.  
If he could run from muggers and cops that looked at him with predatorial grins and murderous eyes, he should be able to run with the crew of wolves that further complicated his life.  
Except he couldn’t.  
“Yes I understand I’m a big bad werewolf now but _really_, I dont want to hurt those cute little rabbits and deer, can’t we just wait until we transform back to eat?” He shrunk back when some of the others glared at him with condescending exasperation “That’s not how it works? Well can’t I just eat _before _I transform so I won’t be hungry–I’m sorry I’m just new at this and I’m sorta trying to go vegetarian here–”  
“Jack did you really have to pick the pansiest lilly in the fucking garden? Christ the stupid cunt won’t even eat what he can get!” Dimitri, a southern english blond with a thick accent and the worst case of resting bitch face Josh had ever seen on a wolf, colorfully hissed at the alpha of the pack.  
“I figured the guy would make a mean wolf. Fuck me sideways, I was wrong.” Jack, their leader and the stockiest member of the group, grumbled as he glared daggers at Josh “Fucking smarty pants too good for meat?”  
“Might make a good bitch.” Yuri, Jack’s second in command and a rather spineless idiot, offered with a barking laugh that made everyone else chortle while Josh blushed furiously and looked down.  
“Ugh… You guys are assholes. I’m just gonna go for a walk.” He got up and moved out of their den, an old abandoned cabin that had definitly seen better days. The stench of wolf didn’t help.  
“Good luck finding any food, Flower Boy, werewolves are carnivores. You gonna die for being a pussy.” Jack called out behind him, getting a hearty laugh out of everyone else in the cabin.  
Josh kept his back straight and his head held high, but if his tail had been showing and his ears were just a bit more wolfish, they’d have hung low in shame and sadness.  
Not even a group of outcasts wanted anything to do with him. That certainly took the cake.  
  
  


* * *

As it turned out, the others were right. As much as Josh wanted to be a vegetarian (a thought he’d had since primary school), the wolf couldn’t properly process green foods. It was frustrating, because he didn’t want to kill any animals. The thought of blood and gore made him shudder, even if the idea of salty iron tang made his stomach croak painfully with want. He was hungry. Very hungry.  
“Think Josh… If vegetables and fruits aren’t an option, then what else…?” He mumbled to himself as he walked. He needed to feed, otherwise the wolf would have a few things to say as soon as he got too hungry to keep in control.  
His wolf was gentler than the others in the pack, but it was still a wild animal and hunger tended to do strange things to the mind. Especially one driven by the more primal instinct to survive.  
He noticed a stream running downhill and got an idea. It wasn’t a deer or a rabbit, but if bears could get nice and fat from eating fish, surely he could sustain himself on them as well? It was just a matter of catching some.  
“Well, I don’t have anything to lose from trying…” He figured, as he took off his clothing and folded it neatly. He set it by a rock near a massive tree, marking it with his sharpened fingernails before letting himself change into a huge dark coated wolf.  
The feeling was still strange and painful, but his worries eased considerably as an animal. The world was a much simpler thing for a wolf.  
With a hearty howl the wolf sprung towards the stream, hell-bent on catching some dinner.  
  
  


* * *

“You know…” A female voice startled Josh as he pathetically crawled up onto the sandbank. A young woman was sitting there, holding a fishing cane and other assorted supplies. She had red hair, wore clothing that looked a bit too big on her, and a pair of heavy boots that looked to have steel toes. “When I saw you climbing out of the stream I was fishing in dirty, wet, and naked, I assumed you had just survived some kind of intense mob hit or something…”  
Josh gulped as she set aside her tools and crossed her arms. She was smirking at him.  
“But really you had just detransformed from a werewolf after you were playing in the water trying to catch a fish, and ultimately failing.” Had she been watching him the entire time? “Nice ass, by the way…”  
Yelping as he remembered he was completely in the nude, Josh picked up the nearest thing to cover up. It looked all the more pathetic considering the flat rounded rock was much too small to cover much.  
“Easy there. It’s not like I’ve never seen a dick before.” The woman rolled her eyes “Now, before I go get my ma’s shotgun, state your business here dog boy. You and your pack off to cause us trouble?”  
“I… Uh no, no? I’m not…” He shook his head. “I’m not with my pack and uh, I didn’t even know anyone lived here.”  
“We don’t. The cabin is a summer retreat.” The woman shrugged “What’s a wolf doing trying to fish alone?”  
“Could you not call me wolf? I have a name…”  
“So do I. What a small world.” Josh grimaced before looking back where he came from. He should go get his clothes.  
“I… Should get going.”  
“Hm… Yeah sure. Whatever. Try not to scare the fishes even more, you just cost me and my friends our dinner.”  
“You have friends?” That was hard to believe. The woman had been nothing short of unpleasant for the entirety of their short-lived and awkward conversation.  
“Yes. One of them has a crossbow. Beat it pooch.” She glared. He didn’t need to be told twice.  
  
  


* * *

A couple of nights later, Josh had finally mastered his fishing abilities and was anxiously awaiting the rise of the full moon. He hated going back to the den, but cuddling for warmth was the only way not to freeze to death in the woods, and it was risky to wander off too far without the pack. There were other wolves and worse, bears.  
Not that his pack cared that he ran off anyway.  
Still, as soon as the moon rose he could slink off to the stream and catch himself a good meal. He’d found a massive school of fish in a hole that lead to an underground pool. The fish either got stuck there by accident and couldn’t leave due to low lighting, or were just too greedy when feeding on the vast surplus of food that the hole had to offer them.  
All the better to keep him nice and full.  
He had almost completely forgot about that woman from the other day, until he’d rushed off on all fours towards the stream and caught an odd sent in the wind.  
The wolf grumbled in annoyance at the intrusion, but its curiosity was just as great as its human side’s.  
On feather light paws, it crouched and tracked the sent, before a whiff of grilled fish made its mouth water.  
In the same spot Josh had met the woman, were three humans making dinner out of a bucket of large fat fish. It seemed like the redhead was a skilled fisherwoman.  
“It’s a loud night.” A man with a shaved head, tan freckled skin and heterochromia, commented as he listened to the occasional howl in the distance. This trio was far away from the pack’s hunting grounds, so there was no danger.  
“Werewolves. I met one the other day…” The redhead murmured. “Took me longer to get a catch because the dumbass was flopping about like a drowning lamb.”  
“You met a werewolf? How come you didn’t say anything, North?” A blond man with tired eyes and pale complexion asked.  
“Didn’t seem important at the time.” North huffed “Besides, at the mention of my shotgun and your crossbow, he fled.”  
“You mean your mom’s old shotgun. That thing is rusty as hell North. Wouldn’t kill a fly…” The freckled man chuckled “But in all seriousness, Simon’s right. You should have said something.”  
“Oh lay off Markus. It’s fine! We’re not staying much longer, just a couple of days anyway, and the wolves are far away.”  
  
The wolf watched them curiously. They were an odd trio. North, Simon and Markus.  
Their names sounded… Nice somehow. And their interactions were all in good jest, rather than aggressive.  
Whining softly, the large wolf lay down and kept watching them. It’s heart ached for companionship it did not get from it’s peers.  
The blond’s head perked up suddenly.  
“Did you hear that?”  
“Not everyone has your bat ears Simon…” North pointed out. “What’s up?”  
The blond didn’t reply, instead staring off into the treeline where the wolf hid.  
Had he heard it? That was impossible, humans didn’t hear that well.  
The man squinted, before getting up. His posture was intimidating to say the least, and the look in his eyes was one of warning.  
Before anyone could say anything, or the wolf could process what was going on, the blond was right in front of it with his lips curled back so the wolf could see his long fangs. A vampire.  
“Simon!” Markus called out, seeming just as startled at the wolf. “Don’t do that!”  
“We’ve got a wolf!” The blond called back.  
“Is it big and got black mottled fur?” North asked from where she was.  
“Yes.”  
“Same guy from last time. Hey you caught any fish yet or just did a bad impression of the Little Mermaid?” The redhead grinned. Simon rose an eyebrow in question before noticing the grimace on the wolf’s face.  
“I don’t think it liked that.”  
“It can say that to my face. Come on, bring the thing over, if it didn’t pounce us yet, it’s not going to.”  
The vampire shrugged and looked back at the wolf, still suspicious, before motioning for it to get up and follow. The wolf decided it best not to argue, especially when the redhead offered a grilled fish.  
It had been ages since it ate something cooked.  
  
  


* * *

“So you really do run solo, don’t you?” North asked in the morning, when the moonlight was no longer coursing through his veins, and after they’d all introduced themselves at the cabin.  
The redhead hadn’t been kidding about owning a shotgun. It was on display at the cabin, but it was also rusted to kingdom come. Markus had been right about it not harming a fly.  
She used it as a threat to intruders. Uninvited guests were unwelcome, which was funny considering she had invited a vampire and a wolf into the threshold.  
That was certainly some risk taking. Not that he was complaining.  
The offered blankets had been so soft he’d practically rolled around in them when he woke up. The texture felt nice against his bare skin. It helped ignore the dull aches and sores of transformation.  
“I prefer it.” Josh replied. “It’s calmer when I’m on my own. Quieter. Easier to get food and rest instead of getting pounced on and forced to submit to some asshole’s command…”  
Simon held the blanket he’d covered himself in tightly as he took a sip from a glass. The breakfast table was nicely organized, and he’d given them all plates of pancakes and glasses of orange juice. He himself ate nothing and drank a tinted glass that Josh’s nose noted was full of pig’s blood.  
“Sounds rough.” The blond commented as he shielded his sensitive skin from the sunlight creeping into the cabin.  
“It is… Honestly though I hate my pack so much, like theyre a bunch of assholes but I ran into you guys on my full moon run in the forest and…” he shrugged “I don’t know you seem pretty cool…”  
“We seem cool? Bitch we’re the coolest.” North grinned.  
“North…” Markus rolled his eyes. “Well… Uh, aren’t werewolves social? Running solo seems very lonely for a wolf.”  
“It is but uh… I don’t know, I was hoping I could sorta… You know.” Josh stammered in embarrassment “Go hunting or scare some people or some shit? With you guys? I know this lake thats always really warm, I can show you… and uh, there’s this hole in the stream that’s full of big fat fish that just kinda hang in there? In case you uh, needed more?”  
The three looked among each other debating what to do. They only had a couple of days left at the cabin and Josh would surely be lonely after they left.  
North looked back at Josh before looking at Markus intently.  
“… No.” The heterochromatic man said flatly.  
“Oh come on, we kept the vampire living in your attic, can’t we keep this poor lonely lost puppy too?” North put on an exaggerated pout.  
“I’m not a puppy. Also you were living in Markus’s attic?” Josh asked Simon incredulously. That seemed a bit weird.  
“Technically his dad’s attic which technically is my attic because that mansion has been in my family for generations, but yeah sure let’s go with that.” Simon shrugged.  
“A vampire doesn’t shed or howl.” Markus argued with North.  
“I don’t shed!” Josh was slightly offended.  
“Come oooon. I can walk him, and feed him, and teach him cool tricks.” North grinned.  
“What the fuck is happening right now?”  
“Your pack sucks and you’re nice. You’re getting adopted by the two most insufferable humans in this part of Michigan.” Simon smiled “Don’t worry. You’ll get a bed, access to hot water and tv, as well as treats. They’ll spoil you rotten.”  
“…Well I can’t argue with that.” Josh snorted. “I haven’t showered in months and the smell of wet dog after I take a dip in the lake is pretty bad.”  
“Good choice.” Simon laughed “Come on Markus, you always did say you wanted a pet.”  
“I was thinking along the lines of a canary or cockatoo…”  
  
At the end of their trip to the cabin Markus relented, having grown very fond of Josh, and the werewolf collected what little belongings he had at the den before joining them at the cabin and sitting in the back of North’s car with Simon.  
The other wolves wouldn’t miss him anyway, so he didn’t bother to say goodbye. If anything he hoped he’d not hear from them ever again.  
Thank god his wolf had a good eye for nice folk. North, Markus and Simon were weird, but they were his brand of weird.  
He could get used to not living rough for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Josh is the friendliest werewolf in Detroit.


	35. Crow (Bad Ending AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s only so much a fragile soul can take before it crumbles into ash and dust.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted me to consider an AU where only Simon survives.  
This could only ever end in tears.

All of Simon’s friends were dead. With them they took what little he’d had of his heart and soul, leaving behind a twisting deep seething hatred that burnt away everything else to ashes and dust.  
And from that dust, from those ashes, rose a horrific mockery of a phoenix. A sickly mottled blackbird with a void in its heart, hunger in its eyes, gore in its beak and violence in its talons…  
He lived, lived through countless deaths and the destruction of his kind. The destruction of his friends, his family. Simon had lived because he’d been too weak to be more. To do more. Too weak to kill the deviant hunter on that damn rooftop…

Waking up in the junkyard after being used as a tool to track down his people’s safe haven was hard. Finding out Markus, North and Josh had been slaughtered was even harder. Realizing he was the last living deviant android in Detroit was the very last blow he could take. It wasn’t fair.  
He’d done everything in his power to keep them alive. Had hidden in a derelict freighter for two years bidding his time and sparing parts and thirium he couldn’t spare, and then somehow he’d lived when his life had been completely worthless in the grand scheme of things.  
He was nothing, completely and utterly irrelevant in light of who he followed.  
His soul was dim where Markus’s had been radiant with beauty and hope, cold where North’s was fervent with passion, and incomplete where Josh’s had been so full of knowledge and kindness to spare.  
It felt so agonizingly unfair that he’d failed his mission as a caretaker not once, not twice, not even trice…  
He’s failed relentlessly. Was incapable of keeping anyone safe.  
And that thought filled him with a rage that burnt brighter than a thousand suns.  
  


There used to be androids in the junkyard. Terrifying mangled androids that put themselves back together but we’re never quite right in the head again. Simon had feared them once, but now he was the very same boogeyman that hid under the YK-series’s cots at Jericho.  
A Scrapper. Scarred and ferocious. A predator that hid and waited until the time was right.  
The newer androids are blank slates. Easy pickings when they don’t know to be afraid (can never be afraid) when walking past the fences. Simon strikes them when they least expect, drags their bodies into his home, and savages them to quell his anger.  
Feed the beast so that it is appeased. But it’s never gone, instead it grows.

AX400s, PL600s, AP700s, WR400s, WR600s, EM400s, PJ500s… So many faces stare blankly at him from the construct he calls a home. The walls are made of bodies. Faces that remain in frozen screams, faces that can never utter another word. They’re nothing to him. Just numbers and statistics. Camouflage in this twisted wonderland he lives in.  
He thought he saw North once, but her face had been so badly bashed in that he’d hoped not. It didn’t stop him from taking her body back home and trying to bury it. Josh he finds only in pieces. Looks for the parts of the puzzle every day so he can bury him too.  
Markus was never thrown out. Sometimes Simon wonders if that’s worse. Knowing Cyberlife has his body.  
He finds the bodies of several RK800s. He always destroys what little remains of them. The deviant hunter deserves no pity or respect from him. It was his fault, all of this…  
Aside from these rituals of sorts, Simon isn’t active for most days. Hiding and stewing in his rage is all he can bring himself to do, until it’s necessary for him to hunt again. He’s killed all of the other Scrappers already, so he resorts to taking the newer androids that hit the markets. Secretly he hopes the humans will find him so they can put him out of his misery.  
He knows that if they do he’ll be quicker and stronger than them anyway, so in the end it’ll be a pointless endeavor. Blood will be shed and he’ll still remain.

The chain-link fence rattles and the PL600 shifts and creaks. He’s an old model, even if salvage has upgraded him considerably. There’s a fight just around the corner and Simon hopes against all odds that he’ll finally get some rest. Will be able to fall through the blissful veil of death.  
The odds aren’t in the trespassers favour however. Because as much as Simon wants to die, he also craves vengeance against humanity.  
He’s not a phoenix that rose from the ashes of ruin. He’s the crow with murderous intent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That one Josh angst drabble apparently wasn't enough for you sadists.


	36. Out for a Stroll (Giant Markus AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s hard for Giant Markus to have a good day, when his size tends to limit him a lot. Thankfully he has some good company that helps him make to most of each day.
> 
> Another G/T side of the fandom prompt request by an Anons on Tumblr, who wanted some good things to happen to Giant!Markus.

Markus rarely gets to go out into the town now that he’s still waiting on Kamski to finish his replacement remote controled body, so when Carl mentions feeling antsy and needing to go on a stroll, the RK200 immediately perks up and peers down longingly at his father.  
The elderly artist, his AP700 caretaker (Matthew), Simon and Markus had been out in what remained of the wrecked garden (which Markus felt guilty over destroying in his boredom) planning what sort of flower arrangements, trees and other things to plant and add, when Carl had spoken up about it.  
“If you would enjoy a trip outside I’d be happy to oblige.” Matthew offered.  
“I was thinking maybe Markus could go with me.” Carl smiled calmly as he spoke. “He’s been cooped up for far too long, as you can see from the state of my backyard, and I’m sure he’d enjoy a nice long walk around town.”  
“Are you sure that’s wise?” The AP700 seemed a little concerned. Simon put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed reassuringly.  
“Markus will be careful, and Carl is right… It’s not healthy for him to be so restricted.” The blond smiled up at the RK200 who returned the smile. A quickly signed ‘Thank You’ made the PL600 chuckle.  
“If you’re sure… Just, try to be careful. I believe motion sickness is common in the family…” Leo peeked out of the window and glared at the AP700.  
“Oh come on that was ONE time! Not my fault you were rocking the couch so much!”  
  
  


* * *

The trip to town was nice at first. Markus had stretched out fully and worked all those aches and sores off his limbs and spine, before he knelt down and gently picked up his father’s chair. Carl had reacted nervously at first as vertigo kicked in, but he’d quickly eased up as soon as he saw the impressive view.  
“To see the world from the perspective of a giant. Funny, I had thought i would have felt bigger.” He noted as he looked all around from the safety of the RK200’s palms.  
Markus hummed softly, one of few sounds he could utter without it being dangerous to his charge’s hearing.  
He had to agree. As big as he was, he’d felt utterly and completely minute in the face of society. Markus had been an ambitious secret, and as such he’d been given the eggshell treatment.  
People walked around the fact he was a lot more than he was allowed to be.  
It made him feel a little insignificant. Like an ant to a bird, albeit with reversed scales.  
“Come along then, I’m sure you’re aching to walk around… Just try not to step on the wall again.”  
Markus snorted but gladly obliged. He wasn’t unsteady on his feet anymore. He could walk around as gracefully as a swam.  
And he’d so done at the beginning… Until people started to stare.

Without his remote body he felt strangely exposed. He was sure he’d feel somewhat the same with it due to his role in the revolution, but not to _this_ extent.  
People were staring up at him with expressions a mixture of fascination, awe and horror. To them he was not just an android, not just the leader of a new sentient species. He was both, plus a behemoth that could surely destroy them at a moment’s notice.  
His size was, like usual, the root of his many problems.  
And that scrutiny made him nervous.  
His nervousness ended up making his leisure walk into a stressful clumsy gait, where each footfall was thought three times through before it was completed. Carl noticed the concern and fear on his face from where he rested in his palms, but the people far below could barely see past the sun’s glare.  
They had no idea he was just as scared of screwing up as they were scared he’d suddenly snap and go Godzilla on their city.  
“Markus, relax.” Carl spoke calmly, but his eyes betrayed the concern he too felt at that moment. Concern that his son was sabotaging himself in ways that would surely leave a psychological mark. “You’re working yourself up.”  
The RK200 whimpered, looking at his father with mismatched frightened eyes. Several whatifs crossed his mind. Carl wasn’t about to let that slide.  
“The park is nearby. Would you feel more comfortable in a more open space?”  
More open and less cluttered than the busy Detroit streets? Yes, yes he would feel more comfortable.  
He nodded eagerly.  
“Then breathe and take it slowly. One step at a time.” Carl was being very patient with him. Markus was infinitely thankful for being so lucky as to have someone like him to guide him.  
Taking in a deep breath, Markus carried on through the city.  
  
  


* * *

Leo looked away from the TV (completely uninterested in the Terminator marathon that was currently on), and took a look at his phone when it buzzed on top of his stomach where he’d let it rest.  
A smile brightened his pale face before he called the others into the living room so they could have a gander at the pictures Carl had sent him from his phone.  
Some were a little shaky, as Carl was a skilled artist but not much of a photographer, but they caught the moment nicely regardless of how blurry one or two turned out.  
Pictures of Markus sitting at park with several children clinging to him.  
A few were sitting on his open palms. Others were sitting on the giant android’s shoulders. There was even one adventurous little girl hanging onto one of his earlobes like a living earring. The most wonderful part of the photos was the RK200’s big bright smile that made his eyes twinkle with contentment and joy. For once Markus didn’t look uneasy about his size, and that was a very beautiful thing to witness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was very flattered by the anon who requested this!  
This AU is still one of my favorites to write.


	37. The Other Side (Demon Summoning AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh doesn't know what to do, but somehow he copes.  
He won't blame North, she's already blaming herself enough as it is.
> 
> Requested by an Anon on Tumblr, who wanted to see Josh's POV of the previous demon summoning AU prompt.

He’s nearly at the end of his late night shift when the wave of nausea hits him. It wouldn’t surprise him too much that he might be coming down with something since he’s still not used to the schedule the university supplied him with, and honestly he’d always had a shit immunity system to begin with. What surprised him was how the nausea quickly became a throbbing headache and then red-hot burning agony that distributed itself through out his nervous system.  
It takes him so completely by surprise that he has to take a brief break to go to the nurse’s office while his students finish a writing assignment, and then dismissed his class 20 minutes earlier to an eagerly awaited weekend. They have no idea how much pain he is in, and neither does Josh for the matter.  
The agony is only just the tip of the iceberg ahead of his path.

He grabs his things as quickly as he can, struggling to put them in his bag with his shaky hands, when the first spike of pure torturous agony hits him in full. He doubled over, mouth and eyes wide open in a silent agonized scream, as something in his body, in his being, snaps like a twig.  
The second spike makes him collapse onto his knees, the third fills his vision with crimson as something bursts from his skull. The fourth bends his spine unnaturally and the following spikes keep his lungs deflated and wrack his body in perverse ways.  
Josh thinks he’s dying, but he’s not sure. His eyes are blurred from the torrent of blood running down his face and he can’t call for help because his tongue feels wrong and his teeth are falling out.  
All he can think about is North.  
  


* * *

  
When he wakes up next it’s to confused thoughts that feel like distant memories, and the fright of waking up somewhere he doesn’t know. His only comfort is a sliver of light coming from a mail slot of a large metal door and her voice soothing him. Telling him she loves him and that she wants him back.  
Back from where? He’s right here.  
He calls her, catching a glimpse of her.  
His eyes feel…Wrong somehow, and her face looks smaller than what he knows it should be. But then, when he catches a glimpse of his own hands, he recoils. Two massive clawed paws, his ring finger somehow still baring his engagement ring…  
The memories of what happened at the university come back in full force and the horror of becoming some twisted monstrosity makes him howl in despair.  
The door is unlocked and suddenly North is holding on to his neck. She’s so much smaller now, ridiculously so, and she comforts and apologizes profusely for her stupidity.  
Her words, previously foggy, come back as well and his heart aches for Simon and North. For the guilt they must be consumed by over harming their loved ones accidentally.  
It was more than punishment enough for meddling with things they didn’t quite understand.

“We’ll fix this.” North promises him, teary eyed and half between a laugh and a sob. She’s so very tired and he can see it. He can smell it too, how weak her emotional state has left her. That is a disconcerting thought in of itself, being able to smell weakness. “If not t-then…Then we can make it work somehow.”  
“North…” His voice is gravely and his throat hoarse from moaning her name in his previous state. In that frenzied need to kill. She’d been so lucky to have Simon there to help her.  
“Don’t…I messed up, I’ll fix it.” She insists. “I…We might need to ask Markus. His dad collected this sort of shit, he uh…He might know how to fix it.”  
  
It’s improbable that Mr. Manfred knows how to do that. Collecting didn’t necessarily mean practicing this sort of craft. But, then again, it was the best shot they had…He might as well humor her.  
“Ok…” It hurts too much to speak, so he nuzzles her gently and laps at her face. His face? Muzzle? Isn’t made for kissing. The sentiment seems to come across none the less as North plants a soft kiss on his forehead in response.  
“We might be able to fix Simon too… It’s so crazy, he has two hearts. Do you uh, think Daniel’s conscience is in there too, somewhere?”  
  
Josh has to wrack his brain to even remember Daniel, but he sort of nods. Simon’s acquired knowledge could be a remnant of his twin’s conscience rather than assimilated skills.  
“You’re not too sure either uh?” The redhead sights, holds his massive paws when he looks down at then in mild disgust. All of him is wrong, but she’s not repulsed. “At this point holding on to thin hope is all I’ve had. Might be all Simon has too…”  
“North…” He can feel something behind him move closer and then sees it coil around her legs comfortingly. Of course he’d have a tail. Why not? His new form was already so grotesque… “Thank you.”  
“For ruining you life?” She sounds incredulous but doesn’t push him away when he leans against her. She’s so warm and he feels cold and very sore.  
“For not giving up.” He corrects, straining his aching vocal chords. This might never be resolved, but she’d brought him back somehow. He might as well thank her for trusting he wouldn’t leave completely even in the face of such an unnatural dilemma. Trusting that somehow she could lead him back to clarity.  
  
She seems to ponder on this before running her fingers through his messy tangled hair and pecking him on his nose. He snorts, her lipgloss smells like strawberries.  
“Thanks for coming back…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short drabble!


	38. A Somewhat Supernatural Household (Vampire AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh adjusts to living with his friends (after surviving out in the woods as a werewolf for a while) and ends up learning a few things about the resident vampire, Simon.
> 
> Requested by the same Anon on Tumblr, who requested the three Josh werewolf AU promps.  
This time they requested three vampire AU promps, so I continued from the last story in that same verse.

On the ride back to the Manfred household from North’s family cabin, Josh can’t help but fidget and glance curiously at the only person in the car that’s covered from head to toe to shield himself from the sunlight. He had been pondering for a while now, why a vampire would risk sun exposure by coming out to camp out in the woods with friends.  
Then, as the minutes crawled by, Josh began to ponder on something else. The way Simon had worded his friends’s apparent adoption of the werewolf into their inner circle, and how the vampire apparently had been living in Markus’s attic before he too was taken in, in a similar manner.  
  
“If you keep staring at me like that, I fear you might burn a hole through my layers.” The blond spoke up, startling Josh out of his thoughts, a humorous tone indicating that he wasn’t so much as unnerved as he was amused.

“Sorry…” He couldn’t help apologize as he caught the other’s gaze under his sunglasses. “It’s just… I’ve never actually seen a vampire before.”

It was odd how werewolves were so common these days, but vampires were merely spoken about in hushed whispers. It was less terrifying to some that men could become huge wolfish beasts, but their undead kin could remain hidden behind a facade of normalcy. Simon certainly looked human enough. Enough so that Josh hadn’t even realized what he truly was before he’d made his move to defend his friends. Defend them from a percieved common threat, even if he’d been rather passive at the time rather than aggressive like the rest of his pack.  
Still, the werewolf saw no reason to fear the blond. If anything he was just curious about him.

“We’re rare these days. It’s hard to find one of us if we don’t want to be found.” Simon explained, seeming to have rehearsed this response. Maybe he’d had to say the same to many others before him. Which brought another question…

“…Ok this is going to sound super rude…” Josh flustered slightly as he tried not to be too blunt “But uh… how old are you?”

At the front North snorted loudly and Josh could see the corner of Markus’s eye crinkle with amusement on the rearview mirror. Simon simply stared at him before rolling his eyes and smiling.

“Old enough.” He responded nonchalantly.

“What?” Josh stared, before North burst out laughing and spoke up.

“He can’t remember, but he’s old as fuck!” She told him, before whining when the vampire lightly punched her arm. “Sensitive about your age as ever, old timer?”

“I’ll have you know no matter how old I technically am, I’ll remain 28 for eternity!” Simon almost sounded like a bird with it’s feathers ruffled, which was quite funny really. Almost like a cockatoo, minus the extravagant yellow display feathers.

Josh made a note not to ask about his age again tho, he doubted it was nice to be eternally youthful and then lose track of time like that… If anything it sounded like a lonely existence.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Mr. Manfred (who insisted Josh call him Carl because being refered to as ‘mister’ made him feel ancient) was a rather interesting man. An eccentric artist with an extravagantly decorated house and three bright young sons that he was proud of (even if Leo seemed to doubt his father liked him at all). Josh found in him a good conversation partner, a brilliant chess opponent, and someone who could teach him a lot about the world.  
No one in his family had liked history and philosophy, so staying with the Manfreds was like paradise. Especially when he sat down and discussed things with Carl.  
Another person who seemed so fond of joining their debates was undoubtedly the resident vampire.  
Simon was a man of few words and many hobbies, but whenever he had something to say it often got both Josh and Carl thinking.

“There’s no such thing as ‘the good old days’. Every time sucks.” the blond grumbled once, when Carl had been reminiscing about the past. Saying how easier it was now to assume your sexuality or gender identity without being prosecuted by the public.

Simon had wholly disagreed with his opinion on the matter.

“Hundreds of years ago people would slaughter each other for minor differences. Be they gender, race, or religion.” The vampire stated. “Today is the same, but the media is changing to hide it more. What’s the death of a young unarmed black man, or of an innocent trans person worth to the public, when they could focus on the pressing things of life, like what celebrities are doing, or what is fashionable these days?”

Josh had been unsure what to say to those bitter words, because he knew for a fact that injustices still happened regularly. Carl had merely tried to shrug it off, not seeming all that willing to discuss it further. The artist later admitted he’d been wrong, when Leo came back with a black eye after being assaulted in a public bathroom. Apparently a guy had noticed his binder when he’d gone to wash his hands and, had Leo not been accompanied by two of his friends (one of which was a 6'7" Russian built like a goddamn bear), things could have taken a turn for the worst.  
Agreeing to disagree was not something people should do with a vampire that had seen the world change and people remain the same…  
  
  


* * *

  
  
It takes three months of living among friends for Josh to see Simon feeding off a person. The vampire is very reserved in his dietary habits, only ever drinking from a cup he keeps separate from everyone else’s dishes, and he never really drinks human blood. He purchased a variety of animal blood from the butcher’s, often commenting on how unsanitary human blood really is.

“I’d rather not risk catching any blood related diseases, thank you very much.” The blond scoffed as he took a sip out if his cup of fish blood. “The high levels of cholesterol would also probably kill me faster than sunlight ever could… I’m an old man, my poor heart can’t take it.”

Josh has seen him drink pig’s blood, cow blood, even snake blood if he had been feeling “fancy”, as Simon would put it. But never had he seen him drink any of the types of human blood. Then, three months into his stay, Simon became incredibly sick after drinking a contaminated batch…  
He vomits and shivers for days, while Josh helps Markus tend to the miserable vampire’s intense fever. North goes to the butcher’s to complain and comes back furious when the man doesn’t provide so much as an apology or a refund. They help Simon through the sickness and are relieved when he begins recovering.  
But then, when Josh walks into his room one day, Simon has this pained distant look as he curls in on himself and clutched his stomach as if he were dying.  
He looks deathly pale with darkened (almost black) veins snaking under his waxy skin, and sunken in eyes and cheeks that make him almost look cadaveric. His fangs (which Josh learned are kept within special sheaths like those of venemous snakes) are visible and gleaming in the low lighting of the attic that had been converted into his friend’s comfy room. As soon as he locks eyes with Josh, he begins to salivate heavily before whimpering softly.

“I shouldn’t have waited this long…” Simon is shaking from the pain in his empty gut, but also from the amount of control he’s trying to maintain over himself. Josh can see that unmistakable predatory need to pounce rolling off his twitching frame. Simon’s instincts want him to hunt. Hunt his friend for sustenance. But Simon doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He’s too kind for that.  
Josh can’t bare seeing him suffer like that, especially when they don’t have any fresh blood to give him.  
All three of them (Josh, Markus and North) decide he’s suffered enough from food poisoning and donate a portion of their blood, so that Simon may feed and replenish his health properly.  
The blond dislikes drinking from people, but the eagerness to drink from their willing veins is more than enough for him to loose at least an ounce of self control.  
He practically crashes it Markus when the tan freckled man exposed his neck to him, and sinks his teeth and grips his shoulders hard enough that his sharpened nails break skin. The noises that escape him are almost obscene and Markus becomes flustered as Simon suckles and laps up the warm life giving liquid. He lets go when Markus starts getting woozy and his legs begin to give out, moving on to feed from Josh next.  
The sensation is an odd one, intimate even. The werewolf can smell Simon’s desperation, and feel his neediness against his skin, before the blond has had his fill and moves on to finish quenching his thirst with a smaller sum from North. They gave more than her, because they were larger and because Josh would heal faster.  
Markus is a little weak for a few days after, while Josh bounces back quickly due to his own beastly nature. North promises to give more the next time something like this happens.  
Simon is embarrassed about the whole ordeal, but grateful nontheless.  
He hopes there won’t be a next time, and seeing him so weak and inhuman makes Josh hope the same. Still there’s no closer bond than that of letting a loved one feed off your life source.  
As odd as that might sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I posted this one over here ages ago! My mistake.

**Author's Note:**

> Praise be Indig0's fantastic response to one of the weirder prompts I ever sent in the middle of the night. (Seriously, check out Camelopardalis, you won't regret it)
> 
> Have some more giraffe Markus.   
Let’s make that an actual tag DBH fandom!


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